Former fundamentalist support group?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Incandesio
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I

Incandesio

Guest
Good morning, hopefully I’m posting this in the right forum.
I was wondering if anyone knew of a Catholic support group or ministry for those of us coming from an Evangelical/Quiverfull/Purity Culture/Fundamentalist background. After coming home to the Catholic Church last October I am finding that there are so many issues cropping up for me; things that I think have been inculcated so deeply into me that coming to terms with each one feels like a spiritual crisis.

My church is amazing, but is mostly full of cradle Catholics who (through no fault of their own) can only offer shock and sympathy. I would love to discuss some of these issues with a person or people who understand the extremity of what we were taught.

Thanks.
 
I might be able to offer some thoughts on these type of worldviews, none positive.
 
Incandesio said:
In the sense that you came out of them into the Catholic church?
Click to expand...
No, but I’ve studied a lot of their… cough… “academia” and religious/political (they are always intertwined) views. Think Pensacola, Bob Jones, etc.
 
Me. Same thing I went through when I came out of a similar background.

Actually, what helped me was a book about cults and how they operate. The shaming, the “us vs. them” mentality, the sect’s leader can’t be questioned–his word is law (this in groups that pride themselves on them “having the Spirit and so not needing any man to tell them what they can know in their own hearts” kind of thinking, you’re a bad person if you can’t conform to the group’s mind set, etc.

Oh yes, I experienced all that.

There’s a huge difference between the rightful claims of faith on us and the kind of group that wants/needs to control their members’ every actions, thoughts, and deeds. They tend to be quite insular. One needs to be in the inner circle to be taken seriously and to conform in everything–dress, talk, attitude, etc.

This mind set is very hard to break free from–because everything you’re taught to think is vital to your salvation. If you deviate in the least, you could be damned, even if you believe in OSAS. It’s insidious mind manipulation instead of consent freely given.

They love to titillate their followers with what’s wrong with every other faith except their own. Fudging facts and passing on misinformation isn’t seen as wrong as long as they keep their followers in the group. IOW, the ends justify the means–very wrong, of course, but it keeps their people stuck in the group out of fear rather than from love of God.
 
Basically the fruit of backward social beliefs and extreme “enemy of my enemy…” logic, taken and run with into the realm of absurdity.
 
reader124 said:
No, but I’ve studied a lot of their… cough… “academia” and religious/political (they are always intertwined) views. Think Pensacola, Bob Jones, etc.
Click to expand...
Well that’s definitely where I’m coming from, and I’m hoping to find resources about how to begin making an intellectual/spiritual/emotional inventory of all the things I believe that may stem from that upbringing. As of right now I’m just getting blindsided by realizations and it feels like it’s happening so fast that the only response possible is massive hurt and rage.
 
Della said:
This mind set is very hard to break free from–because everything you’re taught to think is vital to your salvation. If you deviate in the least, you could be damned, even if you believe in OSAS. It’s insidious mind manipulation instead of consent freely given.
Click to expand...
Exactly! I’m having such trouble with this, with thinking about how different my life might have been if I had only questioned this stuff sooner…If I had only had the willpower or intelligence or SOMETHING to start asking these questions before I made so many life decisions based on the theology that I was brought up in…I thought that by accepting the truth of God’s true church I would be leaving it behind, but I find that mentally I still lean towards these beliefs. It’s like I can’t question them until I am slapped in the face by the harm it has caused/is causing. I have kids, and I don’t want to pass on these errors to them, but how can I avoid it if I still can’t even see it?
 
Incandesio said:
Exactly! I’m having such trouble with this, with thinking about how different my life might have been if I had only questioned this stuff sooner…If I had only had the willpower or intelligence or SOMETHING to start asking these questions before I made so many life decisions based on the theology that I was brought up in…I thought that by accepting the truth of God’s true church I would be leaving it behind, but I find that mentally I still lean towards these beliefs. It’s like I can’t question them until I am slapped in the face by the harm it has caused/is causing. I have kids, and I don’t want to pass on these errors to them, but how can I avoid it if I still can’t even see it?
Click to expand...
Does your spouse still believe this type of nutty stuff you mention?
 
One thing that bothers me about some otherwise sensible Christians is their apparent willingness to associate with any crazies, so long as said crazies are pro-life.
 
reader124 said:
Does your spouse still believe this type of nutty stuff you mention?
Click to expand...
No; through God’s extreme providence, and to the everlasting shame of my parents, I married a Catholic. Not even a very devout Catholic, at the beginning, but after 15 years of my working to bring him into my church, I finally took a look at his and we are both now fully invested in our (Catholic) faith.
 
Incandesio said:
No; through God’s extreme providence, and to the everlasting shame of my parents, I married a Catholic. Not even a very devout Catholic, at the beginning, but after 15 years of my working to bring him into my church, I finally took a look at his and we are both now fully invested in our (Catholic) faith.
Click to expand...
Well you can at least be thankful for that much. The fundi types tend to be extremely anti-Catholic/Protestant (with a capital P, as opposed to US Fundamentalism, which is more post-Protestant, if you know what I’m meaning) except on election years they tend to tone down the rhetoric on that area somewhat.
 
Incandesio said:
Exactly! I’m having such trouble with this, with thinking about how different my life might have been if I had only questioned this stuff sooner…If I had only had the willpower or intelligence or SOMETHING to start asking these questions before I made so many life decisions based on the theology that I was brought up in…I thought that by accepting the truth of God’s true church I would be leaving it behind, but I find that mentally I still lean towards these beliefs. It’s like I can’t question them until I am slapped in the face by the harm it has caused/is causing. I have kids, and I don’t want to pass on these errors to them, but how can I avoid it if I still can’t even see it?
Click to expand...
The more you delve into the truths of the Faith the less you’ll feel like hanging onto those erroneous beliefs. It takes prayer and patience–with yourself and with those who taught you those errors–remember they’re stuck in the mire you’ve escaped.

Having errors engrained takes time to root out. I couldn’t touch a Bible for a couple of years after I left my sect because the verses still meant what I’d been taught–especially those that were anti-Catholic/anti-mainstream Protestant. I was fortunate in that I had been brought up in the Episcopal Church before my mom took us kids (she was widowed) into the sect we joined. So, I had some grounding in truth and sanity before that. Still, it took me years to get past the stuff I that was drilled into me in my sect.

Teach your children the truths of the Faith. If they haven’t been tainted by the errors you were taught they won’t have the same emotional/psychological baggage you’re dealing with. It’s hard to deprogram oneself, which is why I recommend a good book on cults. Not all Fundamentalist bodies are cults, but many use cult tactics and so are definitely bad for us to embrace.

As to being pro-life, well, at least that’s something in their favor. Whatever any faith teaches that is true is to be encouraged, but of course, that doesn’t mean we need to agree with the untrue things they believe.
 
Welcome home.
Your support group is at your new parish. Your brothers & sisters in Christ.
Don’t look backward…go forward in the light of Christ. 😉
You don’t need to rehash things that were likely not your invention.
Look to Mass, Eucharist, Reconciliation, and develop a habit of proper interpretation of the Scriptures and see if these past events mean less and less to you.
You’re home.
REJOICE! :extrahappy:
It’s Pentecost! It’s the birthday of the Church. Celebrate the fact that Christ called you home.

Blessings! :grouphug:
 
Incandesio said:
Exactly! I’m having such trouble with this, with thinking about how different my life might have been if I had only questioned this stuff sooner…If I had only had the willpower or intelligence or SOMETHING to start asking these questions before I made so many life decisions based on the theology that I was brought up in…I thought that by accepting the truth of God’s true church I would be leaving it behind, but I find that mentally I still lean towards these beliefs. It’s like I can’t question them until I am slapped in the face by the harm it has caused/is causing. I have kids, and I don’t want to pass on these errors to them, but how can I avoid it if I still can’t even see it?
Click to expand...
Our Lord Jesus Christ is a Healer! He can take care of what needs to be left behind. Keep asking!
 
Another former fundamentalist chiming in here.

It’s hard. There really are a lot of things that people who don’t come out of that background don’t get. Many people are more used to converts that come from more liberal backgrounds.

For example, one thing I’ve really struggled with is coming to terms with the idea of femininity. Not because, as many people assume, because I was overaffected by feminism, but because the idea of femininity I grew up with was pretty much limited to “traditional 1950’s housewife”. And that’s a struggle that it’s often hard for people who didn’t grow up in that particular tradition to understand why, say, I tend to have a bit of an allergy to things like “celebrating femininity.” (I’m sure it’s a concept that has its uses, but the associations for me are not good.)

One thing I would caution - there are certain strains of Catholicism that can be very fundamentalist in their thinking. I would try to stick to the catechism and find wise people who can advise you. It can be easy to fall back into the same old type of thinking, just with different rules.

I enjoyed a site called stuff fundies like. The blog is no longer updating, but there’s a good, if small, forum, and the articles can be good. It’s not a Catholic site but it’s a general site for people coming out of fundamentalism.
 
Start with your parish’s Religious Education coordinator, or knock on the rectory door. Priests are teachers. Tell your pastor you need help.

Next, be a leader on this. Conversion is a lifelong effort (trust me, I’m a convert too–class of 1972). You’re hearing a call. Start your own support group in your own parish! Take out an ad in the parish bulletin! And vist Mark Shea’s wonderful blog, “Catholic And Enjoying It.” He’s been there, done that. Out of the same setting you’ve been in.

Peace. We have your back with prayer.
 
Maybe you could start a group here on this website. God bless you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top