Former Mormon "de-conversion" stories

[sablouwho]

I am interested in hearing from former members of the Mormon faith – why did you leave the Latter-day Saints? What was it like to leave? Etc…

I am NOT wanting to encourage LDS-bashing here, rather I am hoping to hear heartfelt and earnest stories of what it was like to leave the LDS Church, and what your thought process was like.

Also–for those of you who felt like you really did have a “burning in the bosom”, or spiritual experiences (giving/receiving priesthood blessing, patriarchal blessing, doing proxy work, etc) – in retrospect, do you feel that any of your spiritual experiences were genuine? Why or why not?

 

[Tmaque]

I am interested in hearing from former members of the Mormon faith – why did you leave the Latter-day Saints? What was it like to leave? Etc…

I am NOT wanting to encourage LDS-bashing here, rather I am hoping to hear heartfelt and earnest stories of what it was like to leave the LDS Church, and what your thought process was like.

Also–for those of you who felt like you really did have a “burning in the bosom”, or spiritual experiences (giving/receiving priesthood blessing, patriarchal blessing, doing proxy work, etc) – in retrospect, do you feel that any of your spiritual experiences were genuine? Why or why not?

I was an active member of the LDS Church until I was 23 years old. I served a mission to South Korea in 1981 and 1982. I did have a “testimony” of the faith, meaning I had this feeling of certainty about my beliefs. I had the wonderful spiritual experiences, the “burning in the bosom” etc.

After my mission I started going to college and was confronted with the notion of seeking truth using reason. After studying sociology, biology, geology, etc, etc, it became apparent that my reason and my faith were at odds. Among the big items were:
*Reconciling the historicity of Genesis and the Book of Mormon with my reason
*Biological evolution
*Age of the earth
*Religious evolution

I lived with this dissonance for some time, sought spiritual advice, continued going to church and praying. I woke up one day and realized I simply didn’t believe in God anymore. My faith was gone, just like that. It was heartbreaking for me, and for my family, especially my Mother. I kept going to church, kept trying to reconnect, trying to believe but I just couldn’t. I finally stopped trying. Leaving the LDS Church was not hard for me. It was like waking up from a dream. Religion wasn’t reality, so in my mind I walked away from nothing. What was hard was losing my relationship with God. I missed that immensely. My family and friends did not abandon me so I was lucky in that regard.

I was completely atheistic at first, then quickly became a confirmed agnostic. Once agnostic, I decided to say a little prayer every day (just in case). This prayer was simply “God, if you’re there, please guide my life”. He did. It took almost two decades, but he did.

As to your question “were my spiritual experiences genuine?”. Yes, they were! I had a physical reaction to what I perceived to be the truth. Were they from God? Who knows? I prayed for the experience, and after much prayer, I got the expected feeling. I don’t equate that to truth now. As John Paul II said, “Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth”

We just fly in circles without using both equally. We use reason to judge the empirical world, and faith to experience the revealed word of God. If they contradict we cannot simply ignore one at the expense of the other. They must always compliment each other.

I found faith and reason in the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic church of Jesus Christ. My conversion was miraculous, dramatic and life changing. The experiences I had while coming into the Church were undeniably “spiritual” and left me with no doubt about God’s will for my life.

I hope this helps.

 

[jw2lds2catholic]

I am interested in hearing from former members of the Mormon faith – why did you leave the Latter-day Saints? What was it like to leave? Etc…

I am NOT wanting to encourage LDS-bashing here, rather I am hoping to hear heartfelt and earnest stories of what it was like to leave the LDS Church, and what your thought process was like.

Also–for those of you who felt like you really did have a “burning in the bosom”, or spiritual experiences (giving/receiving priesthood blessing, patriarchal blessing, doing proxy work, etc) – in retrospect, do you feel that any of your spiritual experiences were genuine? Why or why not?

I converted to the LDS church and was baptized in 1996. I was a practicing Episcopalian at the time I took the discussions earning my master’s degree in sociology. I had always been fascinated with the church especially after reading the “God Makers”. I hear that book made more converts than those who left the faith. I came away reading that book more curious than every as I could not believe any one would be believe the doctrine contained within - and I was right. The book was mostly rubish. Any ways, I took the disucssions several times and finally decided to get baptized.
I LOVED the doctrine, the people and the activity. I did get a testimony of the BoM - no burning of the bosom, but, rather a rational conclusion that it could be true and used all sorts of twisted logic to convince myself it was true because I wanted it to be true. I do remember feel the warm and fuzzies when listening to BoM being read and during testimony meetings. God did work in my life in a meaningful way as a Mormon. I still love the movie Singles Ward and Work and a Glory. There is a true sense of belonging. I took callings, attending my meetings and taught Sunday school. After a year I was invited to attend Temple prep classes but my non member husband wasn’t keen on raising our kids Mormon so I kept postponing Temple ceremonies. I lived closed to a Temple and would often go on temple grounds to pray or read the BoM, but that was as close I got to a temple.
Later as our children grew older I was considering how far I was willing to go in my marriage to teach my children the gospel. We held family home evenings and skirt around Mormon specific dotrine and my children did not attend meetings with me on Sunday per my husbands request (demand). It came time to teach doctrines such as God has a physical body and Jesus was our literal brother and family’s can be forever, etc… and a strange thing happened. I realized i didn’t believe it. sure I could quote in chapel in fast and testimony meetings, but when it came to teaching my kids - I couldn’t do it. I felt hypocritical.
So at that time I faded away, begging off meetings and callings blaming my non-member husband with his full support for my failling away. I still have several member friends who secretly wish i would come back. They know I have converted to Catholicism [RCIA in 2007, recieved 2008] but we still talk about the ward and conference and i went to the nativity display at the stake center with the kids. It’s a beautiful faith full of wonderful people but it’s not true.
I have no family in any of my faiths (LDS, JW or Catholic) so my conversions have not impacted my relationships with them. And I don’t live in Utah so my social standing and such has not been impacted either. Still have the same friends, but don’t see them on Sundays. Its great not having to wear dresses (I attend mass in jeans - gasp!) and celebrating Advent, Midnight Mass and actually celebrating and recongizing Easter with Lent. LDS always glossed over Christmas and Easter (yet celebrated J. Smith b-day and pageants and such) and that always irked me.
Hope that helps. Ask questions if you want.

 

[sablouwho]

Thanks for your “testimony”, LOL!

I LOVED the doctrine, the people and the activity

I can relate to this. I definitely liked the people, as you say, they were wonderful. Great sense of community–better than any other church I’ve attended.

What aspects of the doctrine did you like–why did you like it?

Its great not having to wear dresses (I attend mass in jeans - gasp!) and celebrating Advent, Midnight Mass and actually celebrating and recongizing Easter with Lent. LDS always glossed over Christmas and Easter (yet celebrated J. Smith b-day and pageants and such) and that always irked me.

I did notice how Xmas and Easter aren’t really “done up.” I thought it was, well, different. I didn’t realize they celebrate JS’s b-day. I can see how this would irk you.

Personally, the plain-ness of the wards kind of bothered me (I found LDS to be very similar in this aspect to Protestant churches I have been to–but to be fair I hear the temples are more decorated). I find the Catholic Church has much more of a “sensory ethic” (at least in general) than other churches. Ditto with the liturgical year–it seems plainer and more whitewashed to leave those things out. I realize that some might argue such things are accessories, but I really do feel that candles, stained glass, and artwork, etc, helps to make a space feel sacred.

 

[Tmaque]

Thanks for your “testimony”, LOL!

I can relate to this. I definitely liked the people, as you say, they were wonderful. Great sense of community–better than any other church I’ve attended.

What aspects of the doctrine did you like–why did you like it?

I did notice how Xmas and Easter aren’t really “done up.” I thought it was, well, different. I didn’t realize they celebrate JS’s b-day. I can see how this would irk you.

Personally, the plain-ness of the wards kind of bothered me (I found LDS to be very similar in this aspect to Protestant churches I have been to–but to be fair I hear the temples are more decorated). I find the Catholic Church has much more of a “sensory ethic” (at least in general) than other churches. Ditto with the liturgical year–it seems plainer and more whitewashed to leave those things out. I realize that some might argue such things are accessories, but I really do feel that candles, stained glass, and artwork, etc, helps to make a space feel sacred.

I agree so much with this. After being Catholic for 7 years going inside of an LDS Chapel seems foreign and very sterile. I love the richness of Catholic worship. I also love the richness of Catholic doctrine, history, sacraments…I guess everything!

 

[AtticusFinch]

I was LDS. I served my mission in Honduras. I baptized an someone almost every weekend for the entirety of my mission. I loved Being LDS. I loved the feeling of togetherness. I loved the activity. I loved how if you needed help, someone was always there.

While in law school, I went to Palmyra during the time of the pageant. There were a lot of anti-LDS there. I debated with them. I decided I needed to study more to be a better apologist. The more I studied, the more I found stuff I could not accept. I could not accept the belief that God was once a sinful man (“as man is, God once was, as God is, man may become”.) I also found, in my studies, at least nine different versions of the “First Vision”. There were incredible differences in the versions. How could someone who had such an expereince as God visiting them forget so much that he could not rmember how old he was, who appeared, what was said, etc.?

Then there was the Temple. I discovered that the temple ceremony Joseph came up with he miraculously came up with shortly after learning the Masonic Temple ceremony…and they are almost exactly alike.

Then there was the polygamy. How he was caught with Fanny Alger and suddenly came up with idea that God wanted men to have several wives.

Then there was the Textus Receptus. That seemed to slice holes into the Book of Mormon.

And it went on and on.

I went inactive. Then, after some really terrible things from LDS Members, I asked that my name be stricken from the Church Records.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I am interested in hearing from former members of the Mormon faith – why did you leave the Latter-day Saints?

I was raised LDS. In my teens I started to doubt. By the time I was 23 years old I had no belief.

What was it like to leave? Etc…

I just slowly left. As a teen I had no choice in going to church. I went, until I was 18 and then I only went to sacrament meeting. When my husband and I built our first house and moved in, I found it the perfect time to let all of it go.

thought process was like.

I was always an observant, logical thinking, kid. Advanced math classes. Computer classes when no one had computers. I observed the inconsistencies in mormonism when I was young. Things that didn’t make sense, but it was all I knew. When you are a kid, in the mormon culture, there is no one to tell these things to so I kept them to myself.

I was really super shy and introverted, and so had few friends. There were very few kids my age, we lived in a neighborhood of a bazillion kids under 12 and few teens. The social aspects that people find inviting about mormonism wasn’t really anything I experienced. I didn’t miss it when I left, since I never had it.

Also–for those of you who felt like you really did have a “burning in the bosom”, or spiritual experiences (giving/receiving priesthood blessing, patriarchal blessing, doing proxy work, etc) – in retrospect, do you feel that any of your spiritual experiences were genuine? Why or why not?

We had compulsory times when I was in young adult activities where we had to give our testimonies. I gave one, only because it was expected. For a while I tried to believe. I prayed. I read the BoM. It just wasn’t there.

In my 20’s I spent time trying to figure out God. I read a lot of religious material, mormon and non mormon. The internet wasn’t around then so it was all books that I ordered from a mail order book club I belonged to or bought locally. One day, sitting at a stop light, I had this brilliant thought that I didn’t have to believe in God at all. It was on the most freeing moments in my life, that I remember well. It was just a huge relief to stop this struggle about God and just let it go.

I left it at that for nearly 20 years. I studied yoga and eastern philosophies. I hung out with the Unitarian Universalists. Until one day one of my sisters, who was exmormon with me, went back to mormonism. She said nothing to me, just one day, my mom tells me she is going to my sisters sealing in “the temple”.

It was then I got online and typed in a search engine ‘why people return to mormonism’. That started a renewed look at mormonism for me, which only solidified for me that I made a good choice when I left. I decided to look at Christianity, and compare to what I had been taught in mormonism. I chose Catholicism because I purposefully did NOT want to know about religions started by people reading the Bible and making their own religion up.

I had no intention of converting. I was an atheist. I decided to go to a couple of church services, just because I never had been to any but mormon. I went to an Episcopalian church and a Catholic church. I had no idea the difference, and they seemed pretty much the same to me. So I read about the Anglican history and found a king making up his own religion. Nope. Not what I was interested in understanding.

I went to Mass for several months, nearly every Sunday. I started to get curious, watching people there. Why they had faith and I did not. So, in my way of doing things and testing things, I decided to do a test to see if I could find faith. That was a very painful experiment. Faith found me. It is a major difference between mormonism and Catholicism. In mormonism, you have to generate your faith, even pretend you have it when you don’t, and God rewards you for it. I can’t pretend to have something I don’t. In Catholicism, the source of faith IS God. It is not something I can generate on my own. It is a grace. A gift. I call it a miracle.

 

[zerinus]

I am interested in hearing from former members of the Mormon faith – why did you leave the Latter-day Saints? What was it like to leave? Etc…

I am NOT wanting to encourage LDS-bashing here, rather I am hoping to hear heartfelt and earnest stories of what it was like to leave the LDS Church, and what your thought process was like.

Also–for those of you who felt like you really did have a “burning in the bosom”, or spiritual experiences (giving/receiving priesthood blessing, patriarchal blessing, doing proxy work, etc) – in retrospect, do you feel that any of your spiritual experiences were genuine? Why or why not?

Have you tried listening to Mormon conversion stories? They are much more exciting, and far more numerous!

 

[Tmaque]

Have you tried listening to Mormon conversion stories? They are much more exciting, and far more numerous!

Not in my parish. We have 20 to 30 new converts every year. Typically 3/4 come from the LDS Church.

I can tell you that the experiences I had, the feelings I felt, the miraculous signs I received when I became a Catholic leave this ex-atheist with no doubt that this is the true church of God. I’m so sorry you won’t even consider for a moment this possibility. You’ve been coming to this forum for over three years. Why? What has drawn you to a Catholic forum for such a long time? Perhaps God is calling to you. Please accept that this is at least possible. Please ask God about this. I will pray for you my friend.

 

[ParkerD]

Not in my parish. We have 20 to 30 new converts every year. Typically 3/4 come from the LDS Church.

I can tell you that the experiences I had, the feelings I felt, the miraculous signs I received when I became a Catholic leave this ex-atheist with no doubt that this is the true church of God. I’m so sorry you won’t even consider for a moment this possibility. You’ve been coming to this forum for over three years. Why? What has drawn you to a Catholic forum for such a long time? Perhaps God is calling to you. Please accept that this is at least possible. Please ask God about this. I will pray for you my friend.

Tmaque,
I keep “leaving” this forum, having come here as it were by being led to find a place where people are getting a lot of mis-information even from the official part of what is said about LDS beliefs, let alone the blog threads, and finding that I could at least bring some balance and more light to people totally in the dark about LDS beliefs based on what they had as sources.

After I “leave,” I receive another impression that “there are people who can benefit from your going back” and so I go back. It has nothing to do, ever, with puzzling over the differences between being guided by the Holy Spirit individually versus the kinds of assumptions made about a church and its people never being allowed to choose against purity of knowledge and purity of truth. Then, too, even a slight change in direction by one person, can lead to a different destination much further down the road of life–so I have the impression that those slight changes in direction have been worth the time to hope perhaps such a change can happen in someone’s life–not a dramatic change at all, just a less caustic view of LDS and their “peculiar” beliefs.

 

[Jay53]

Not in my parish. We have 20 to 30 new converts every year. Typically 3/4 come from the LDS Church.

I can tell you that the experiences I had, the feelings I felt, the miraculous signs I received when I became a Catholic leave this ex-atheist with no doubt that this is the true church of God. I’m so sorry you won’t even consider for a moment this possibility. You’ve been coming to this forum for over three years. Why? What has drawn you to a Catholic forum for such a long time? Perhaps God is calling to you. Please accept that this is at least possible. Please ask God about this. I will pray for you my friend.

Uh, oh. Don’t let Diana see this - you’re praying for someone without their permission so you are coercing God to do something to him against his will.

 

[FabiusMaximus]

Tmaque,
I keep “leaving” this forum, having come here as it were by being led to find a place where people are getting a lot of mis-information even from the official part of what is said about LDS beliefs, let alone the blog threads, and finding that I could at least bring some balance and more light to people totally in the dark about LDS beliefs based on what they had as sources.

After I “leave,” I receive another impression that “there are people who can benefit from your going back” and so I go back. It has nothing to do, ever, with puzzling over the differences between being guided by the Holy Spirit individually versus the kinds of assumptions made about a church and its people never being allowed to choose against purity of knowledge and purity of truth. Then, too, even a slight change in direction by one person, can lead to a different destination much further down the road of life–so I have the impression that those slight changes in direction have been worth the time to hope perhaps such a change can happen in someone’s life–not a dramatic change at all, just a less caustic view of LDS and their “peculiar” beliefs.

Please don’t leave. You might be a nutty Mormon (just kidding) but I like your posts on the forums.

 

[AtticusFinch]

Have you tried listening to Mormon conversion stories? They are much more exciting, and far more numerous!

Any conversion story is exciting. My conversion to Catholicism is excting…at least to me…but to say more “more exciting” and “more numporous” would not be accurate

 

[jw2lds2catholic]

Thanks for your “testimony”, LOL!

I can relate to this. I definitely liked the people, as you say, they were wonderful. Great sense of community–better than any other church I’ve attended.

What aspects of the doctrine did you like–why did you like it?

I did notice how Xmas and Easter aren’t really “done up.” I thought it was, well, different. I didn’t realize they celebrate JS’s b-day. I can see how this would irk you.

Personally, the plain-ness of the wards kind of bothered me (I found LDS to be very similar in this aspect to Protestant churches I have been to–but to be fair I hear the temples are more decorated). I find the Catholic Church has much more of a “sensory ethic” (at least in general) than other churches. Ditto with the liturgical year–it seems plainer and more whitewashed to leave those things out. I realize that some might argue such things are accessories, but I really do feel that candles, stained glass, and artwork, etc, helps to make a space feel sacred.

As far as doctrines, I liked the following:

• heaven : that most people went there after death. You had to really work at going to hell.
• eternal families: I longed for a temple sealing so I could be with my husband forever
• eternal life. I didn’t care about whether I was a ‘god’ or not, but I found the concept that I would continously learn for eternity very appealing. There are way too many things to do in this lifetime that the prospect of more time was fantastic. Other faiths simply provided living in heaven as the end all be all, that being with God was the ultimate purpose in and of itself, I wanted something a little more…human.
• bootstrap mentality: Mormons firmly believe in taking care of their own and self-reliance and improvement. Food storage, getting out of debt and getting an education are fantastic pratical ways to live and still carry those ideals with me.
• comaraderie: Again, LDS take care of their own. If you needed anything, just whisper to a member and the whole organization will be at your door to help. Just a few weeks ago when my mother passed, I had the relief society president in my house cleaning in preparation for the memorial I was hosting that night. My LDS friends also sent cards, flowers and visits to check up on me and I hadn’t been to a Sacrament meeting in three years.

Just wanted to clarify that LDS do not celebrate Smith’s b-day as a holiday, but it seems that he along with LDS history gets mentioned and recognized more in the magazines and life than the recognition of Easter outside of a testimony that Christ suffered in the garden and is resurrected which is repeated rotely like the Apostles creed.

I agree with the distinctive plainness of the chapels - I can recognize the architecture long before you can read the sign, but I have fond memories of sitting in meetings. Yeah, they got tedius at times, but for the most part I enjoyed being LDS outside of the occassional cup of coffee or sip of champagne. I had little beef with them other than the fact that the doctrine is false. No amount of cosmetics or earnestness can change that.

 

[catholic-rcia]

Have you tried listening to Mormon conversion stories? They are much more exciting, and far more numerous!

Pride is what we discover when we see it for what it is, see it in us and ask Christ to deliver us from it.
Then we spend a lifetime attending Mass and Confession in order to battle it. It’s what the Saints understood as the fall of mankind. It has to be put to death in order to rise in Christ. Jesus does this for us if we surrender our lives over to Him. Its all about Him Zerenus. This is what you are seeing here with this posting. Its not about numbers, its about love for Jesus

 

[jw2lds2catholic]

Oh, forgot to add one of my fav doctrines:

• prophets: I liked the idea that their was a representative of God speaking to us here on earth guiding his church. What I eventually couldn’t reconcile was that there was a gap of 1700 years in history was this wasn’t the case. In walks Catholicism

 

[ParkerD]

Please don’t leave. You might be a nutty Mormon (just kidding) but I like your posts on the forums.

FabiusMaximus,
What a kind thing to say–thank you. I sincerely appreciate that.

 

[sablouwho]

As far as doctrines, I liked the following:

• heaven : that most people went there after death. You had to really work at going to hell.
• eternal families: I longed for a temple sealing so I could be with my husband forever
• eternal life. I didn’t care about whether I was a ‘god’ or not, but I found the concept that I would continously learn for eternity very appealing. There are way too many things to do in this lifetime that the prospect of more time was fantastic. Other faiths simply provided living in heaven as the end all be all, that being with God was the ultimate purpose in and of itself, I wanted something a little more…human.
• bootstrap mentality: Mormons firmly believe in taking care of their own and self-reliance and improvement. Food storage, getting out of debt and getting an education are fantastic pratical ways to live and still carry those ideals with me.
• comaraderie: Again, LDS take care of their own. If you needed anything, just whisper to a member and the whole organization will be at your door to help. Just a few weeks ago when my mother passed, I had the relief society president in my house cleaning in preparation for the memorial I was hosting that night. My LDS friends also sent cards, flowers and visits to check up on me and I hadn’t been to a Sacrament meeting in three years.

I liked these doctrines and practices too. In fact, the idea that most people will go to heaven was an important draw for me…being Jewish and having started out my Christian journey in a Protestant setting, you can hopefully imagine that when I found out what the Protestant belief was about salvation, well, it disturbed me. Because according to them, most of my family/ancestors would be in hell. And considering that some of them were terrified of Christianity because of they way they had been treated, and because of this found the God of Christianity to be the God of their persecutors, I felt that the Protestant belief was grossly unfair. If God was really like that, it made him, IMO, a monster.

Just wanted to clarify that LDS do not celebrate Smith’s b-day as a holiday, but it seems that he along with LDS history gets mentioned and recognized more in the magazines and life than the recognition of Easter outside of a testimony that Christ suffered in the garden and is resurrected which is repeated rotely like the Apostles creed.

Thanks for clarifying!

 

[AtticusFinch]

I liked these doctrines and practices too. In fact, the idea that most people will go to heaven was an important draw for me…being Jewish and having started out my Christian journey in a Protestant setting, you can hopefully imagine that when I found out what the Protestant belief was about salvation, well, it disturbed me. Because according to them, most of my family/ancestors would be in hell. And considering that some of them were terrified of Christianity because of they way they had been treated, and because of this found the God of Christianity to be the God of their persecutors, I felt that the Protestant belief was grossly unfair. If God was really like that, it made him, IMO, a monster.

Thanks for clarifying!

Joseph Smith is venberated much the same way Mary is honored in the Catholic Church

 

[AMDGtoo]

Joseph Smith is venberated much the same way Mary is honored in the Catholic Church

Sorry, couldn’t resist. No. Mary gave birth to the Savior. Her cooperation was foretold from Genesis 3:15 and can be seen in Revelation 12 as the woman clothed in the sun with a crown of stars on her head. No Mary, no Jesus. The early Church Fathers spoke of Mary as the ark of the New Covenant since she carried the Law, the Bread of Life, and the Priesthood in her body (just like the Old Testament Ark held the Tablets of the Law, manna, and the staff symbolizing Aaron’s priesthood). Mary was also Immaculate (angel’s words–and the very fact that she is considered the “spouse of the Holy Spirit” so was able to carry the God-man to term.)

About the only thing Joseph Smith and Mary have in common is that both are human creatures.