Former Mormons: Have you had to deal with this residual effect?

[Marie5890]

I’m going thru some tough times right now. You know “life stuff” of the very painful sort.

I keep hearing the Mormon loop of “this life is a test”, that stems from the Mormon view of the plan of salvation. That we, as spirit children, are sent to earth to be tested and tried.

It gets in my way of seeing God right now as being a merciful and loving God who is there to help in times of need. Im stuck on “God is testing me, trying me”…

Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts or advise?

ETA: I’m stuck in this mode of I have to prove something to God.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I’m going thru some tough times right now. You know “life stuff” of the very painful sort.

I keep hearing the Mormon loop of “this life is a test”, that stems from the Mormon view of the plan of salvation. That we, as spirit children, are sent to earth to be tested and tried.

It gets in my way of seeing God right now as being a merciful and loving God who is there to help in times of need. Im stuck on “God is testing me, trying me”…

Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts or advise?

Hi Marie,

Just let it go. Even if it was a tool for you in the past, as a way to make it through tough times. it is a tool that you no longer need. God is love, and created you for love. Follow God’s love and keep Jesus on your horizon. Let Mary be your guiding star to her Son.

These are not replacement tools of our own making, but the ultimate reality. Reality is the best way to make it through. Going from inexperience to experience, not alone, but with God at your side. This is not a test, it is life.

 

[Marie5890]

Hi Marie,

Just let it go. Even if it was a tool for you in the past, as a way to make it through tough times. it is a tool that you no longer need. God is love, and created you for love. Follow God’s love and keep Jesus on your horizon. Let Mary be your guiding star to her Son.

These are not replacement tools of our own making, but the ultimate reality. Reality is the best way to make it through. Going from inexperience to experience, not alone, but with God at your side. This is not a test, it is life.

Thank you so very much Rebecca…that does help

 

[lynnettejane]

I’m so sorry Marie that you’re going through some tough times right now, especially as you are so supportive here on CAF. Please know that you are loved on here, but more importantly, know everyday when you wake up that God loves you. Draw close to that truth, God never gives us more than we can bear, but the point is that he wants us to lean on him to help us . ‘Come unto me you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest’, and he means that. Could you take some time out and go on a retreat somewhere, not to avoid these problems but to let him recharge you. This is the year of faith you can expect satan to try the faithful especially this year. As for mormon hang ups, yep, but the Holy Spirit is the best one to help us let go.

 

[TexanKnight]

Leaving the LDS Church was extremely difficult for me. I had invested a lot. I quit my job and left my fiance to serve a mission at the age of 24. I had given up much to be LDS. I loved being LDS. I loved my mission. I loved the Church and the closeness of its members (something I miss as a Catholic).

And though some horrible things happened when I left…I never truly hated the LDS Church. I still miss it and still have very fond feelings for it. I have dear friends who are LDS and there are times I am tempted to go back. I also loved the Temple and miss it, too.

And my friends have told me I am being tested. My Patriarchal Blessing tells me I will be tested and I am one of the “elect”, destined to be a leader in the Church.

So, I truly feel as if I understand what you are going through.

But…you have to let go. Satan knows your weaknesses. He exploits them. This is an example of that.

Only one Church can be true…and unless Jesus lied to us, that Church is the Catholic Church. One needs only go to Mass and compare it to a Sac Meeting to see the truth and the incredible difference.

Prayer. Study. Mass. The Rosary. These are all things that can help you let go.

Look at it this way: Maybe these feelings of having it hard to let go of the LDS stuff is God’s way of testing you as a CATHOLIC.

Be strong and stay firm.

Blessings

 

[RebeccaJ]

Thank you so very much Rebecca…that does help

Please remember, St. Paul speaks to pagan converts who in difficult times fell back on their paganism. Praying and making offerings to pagan gods. It is human nature, when we are having a difficult time we fall back on the familiar.

My “familiar” is atheism. For a long time after my conversion I prayed often for Jesus to keep me with Him. Eventually, I came to trust that He does indeed, keep me with Him. He also taught,“abide in me”, so I learned that my love for God is just as important as God’s love for me. He is not going to force me to stay with Him, but it is His desire. So it is, I must form my will to His. I really like Oscar Romero, who point out that love is a violence. You know it is, as you die to yourself and let yourself belong to God.

This isn’t a test, to see if I can “make it”. It is God’s will, and who am I to argue?

Pray for what you need. Give to God your ideas of Him, and seek to know who He is in truth. Our own ideas of God, no matter their origins, have the risk of being idols. So it is important to let them go.

You have my prayers.

Rebecca

 

[Marie5890]

Leaving the LDS Church was extremely difficult for me. I had invested a lot. I quit my job and left my fiance to serve a mission at the age of 24. I had given up much to be LDS. I loved being LDS. I loved my mission. I loved the Church and the closeness of its members (something I miss as a Catholic).

And though some horrible things happened when I left…I never truly hated the LDS Church. I still miss it and still have very fond feelings for it. I have dear friends who are LDS and there are times I am tempted to go back. I also loved the Temple and miss it, too.

And my friends have told me I am being tested. My Patriarchal Blessing tells me I will be tested and I am one of the “elect”, destined to be a leader in the Church.

So, I truly feel as if I understand what you are going through.

But…you have to let go. Satan knows your weaknesses. He exploits them. This is an example of that.

Only one Church can be true…and unless Jesus lied to us, that Church is the Catholic Church. One needs only go to Mass and compare it to a Sac Meeting to see the truth and the incredible difference.

Prayer. Study. Mass. The Rosary. These are all things that can help you let go.

Look at it this way: Maybe these feelings of having it hard to let go of the LDS stuff is God’s way of testing you as a CATHOLIC.

Be strong and stay firm.

Blessings

TexasKnight, thank you for sharing that!
I do want to be clear that the tough times I am going thru has nothing to do with my wanting to become Mormon again. Just that some of the residual teachings of LDS has clouded my ability to trust God’s love.

My life challenges are of the normal kind (deaths and illnesses with various family members, and a bunch of them all at once)…

 

[Marie5890]

I’m so sorry Marie that you’re going through some tough times right now, especially as you are so supportive here on CAF. Please know that you are loved on here, but more importantly, know everyday when you wake up that God loves you. Draw close to that truth, God never gives us more than we can bear, but the point is that he wants us to lean on him to help us . ‘Come unto me you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest’, and he means that. Could you take some time out and go on a retreat somewhere, not to avoid these problems but to let him recharge you. This is the year of faith you can expect satan to try the faithful especially this year. As for mormon hang ups, yep, but the Holy Spirit is the best one to help us let go.

Thanks Lynnette, all of this helps a great deal…

 

[Marie5890]

Please remember, St. Paul speaks to pagan converts who in difficult times fell back on their paganism. Praying and making offerings to pagan gods. It is human nature, when we are having a difficult time we fall back on the familiar.

My “familiar” is atheism. For a long time after my conversion I prayed often for Jesus to keep me with Him. Eventually, I came to trust that He does indeed, keep me with Him. He also taught,“abide in me”, so I learned that my love for God is just as important as God’s love for me. He is not going to force me to stay with Him, but it is His desire. So it is, I must form my will to His. I really like Oscar Romero, who point out that love is a violence. You know it is, as you die to yourself and let yourself belong to God.

This isn’t a test, to see if I can “make it”. It is God’s will, and who am I to argue?

Pray for what you need. Give to God your ideas of Him, and seek to know who He is in truth. Our own ideas of God, no matter their origins, have the risk of being idols. So it is important to let them go.

You have my prayers.

Rebecca

Thank you, thank you , thank you. Thank you for your prayers, and for understanding what is happening to my and why. And thanks for the insight

 

[lax16]

I’m going thru some tough times right now. You know “life stuff” of the very painful sort.

I keep hearing the Mormon loop of “this life is a test”, that stems from the Mormon view of the plan of salvation. That we, as spirit children, are sent to earth to be tested and tried.

It gets in my way of seeing God right now as being a merciful and loving God who is there to help in times of need. Im stuck on “God is testing me, trying me”…

Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts or advise?

ETA: I’m stuck in this mode of I have to prove something to God.

I know I am not Mormon, but I do care.

The best prayer for me when things are difficult is to “know” that God has a plan and to always remember to ask Him that His will be done.

Also, to offer up my suffering for somebody else and to remember that suffering is to be aligned with Jesus’ suffering. As I suggested to a Mormon friend of ours going through bad times (and he couldn’t understand why he should suffer at all) “bring it to the foot of the cross.”

 

[TexanKnight]

TexasKnight, thank you for sharing that!
I do want to be clear that the tough times I am going thru has nothing to do with my wanting to become Mormon again. Just that some of the residual teachings of LDS has clouded my ability to trust God’s love.

My life challenges are of the normal kind (deaths and illnesses with various family members, and a bunch of them all at once)…

I know they had nothing about becoming LDS again…it is the residual stuff. But that residual stuff is what sometimes pulls me and makes me doubt.

I am certainly praying for you!

 

[Marie5890]

I know I am not Mormon, but I do care.

The best prayer for me when things are difficult is to “know” that God has a plan and to always remember to ask Him that His will be done.

Also, to offer up my suffering for somebody else and to remember that suffering is to be aligned with Jesus’ suffering. As I suggested to a Mormon friend of ours going through bad times (and he couldn’t understand why he should suffer at all) “bring it to the foot of the cross.”

Thanks Lax!!

 

[Marie5890]

I know they had nothing about becoming LDS again…it is the residual stuff. But that residual stuff is what sometimes pulls me and makes me doubt.

I am certainly praying for you!

Thanks TK, both for your understanding and your prayers…

I have been out of Mormonism for over 2 decades now, and sometimes those old and disordered thought patterns come blazing back when I least expect them too…

And I know you understand…means a great deal…

 

[batman1973]

Thanks TK, both for your understanding and your prayers…

I have been out of Mormonism for over 2 decades now, and sometimes those old and disordered thought patterns come blazing back when I least expect them too…

And I know you understand…means a great deal…

well, I’m glad I know I’m not the only 1 who struggles with this. since I’m in the process of trying to rebuild my relationship with God, I find that I still have a lot of Mormon ism implanted in my spiritual DNA. I am finding that having a godly friends and a good prayer life help.

 

[Jane99]

I am a former Mormon as well. I came into the Catholic Church in 2000. I remember when I went through RCIA we were all asked to come up with adjectives we could use to describe God. At that time I thought of God as a score keeper who was quick to punish me for any misdeeds. It took me a long time to get over that mindset and see God as merciful and loving. I found that being able to pray to Jesus directly was very liberating to me.
I also have been helped by the writings of St Therese on her little way of spiritual childhood.
Letting go of something we have been taught for a long time is hard work, even if we can
see that it is not helpful. Remember that God loves you.

 

[Marie5890]

have a lot of Mormonism implanted in my spiritual DNA. I am finding that having a godly friends and a good prayer life help.

Love the way you put it. “Mormonism implanted in my spiritual DNA”.

Someone in this forum recommended this book amazon.com/The-Discernment-Spirits-Ignatian-ebook/dp/B009REXYOE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1359504069&sr=1-1&keywords=the+discernment+of+spirits on Ignatian spirituality to help with the discerning of spirits. I am find that helpful too, to root out the false teachings or those that become stumbling blocks.

The life struggles and pain that I am dealing with are more than enough, never mind having to have to deprogram bad teachings from another faith tradition.

OY.

Thanks for everyone for the (name removed by moderator)ut and their prayers. Esp the prayers.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I call it my cult brain. There was a time, years, that I worked on “getting the Mormon out”. It doesn’t work. In the end, I accept who I am and realize the cult brain is there. I examine everything I think or believe, just to check on what the cult brain is up to. I don’t do it as often as I used to. Mainly because I figure God has me in his hands, and whether or not I have the most perfectly exact orthodox understanding going on about every little thing, has lost it’s importance to me.

 

[SteveVH]

I’m going thru some tough times right now. You know “life stuff” of the very painful sort.

I keep hearing the Mormon loop of “this life is a test”, that stems from the Mormon view of the plan of salvation. That we, as spirit children, are sent to earth to be tested and tried.

It gets in my way of seeing God right now as being a merciful and loving God who is there to help in times of need. Im stuck on “God is testing me, trying me”…

Does any of this make sense? Any thoughts or advise?

ETA: I’m stuck in this mode of I have to prove something to God.

I have learned to think of trials and temptations as opportunites for grace. When we can overcome temptations or go through trials while not loosing trust in God, we receive an outpouring of God’s grace in our lives. I have experienced this in my own life. This is not to say that it is easy, but it helps if we remember that Christ is truly walking with us in those diifucult times. I’m trying to think of a saint who did not have difficulty or pain in their lives. From what I can tell you are a wonderful woman who God loves very much. He won’t let you go through this on your own.

 

[twopekinguys]

Marie

Being a convert is hard for a multitude of reasons, and there really aren’t any words to explain it to someone who isn’t a convert. Kind of like the “walk a mile in my shoes” concept.

When we hit the big bumps in life, the first thing we go for is our “comfort zone”. As a convert, you automatically think of your former faith, and start second guessing yourself.

Remember that anything worthwhile, is worth fighting for. Your Catholic faith is one of those things worth fighting for.

Just to relate a quick story. Several years ago, I lost 4 close family members in less than 60 days. 3 of those died within 12 days of one another.

Needless to say I was stressed.

All I could do was focus on Jesus on the Cross. Thinking and praying about what he did made my trouble pale in comparison.

I left all of my troubles at the foot of the cross, and said “it’s all in your hands, **your **will be done” It was the best thing I ever did.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[lynnettejane]

Marie, a little story to share, about the faithfulness of God. A little nun who on her profession prayed that God would let her see Lourdes. She was English/Irish and poor. She joined a French order in England which meant thet she left her home in the north of England and spent time initially in London but eventually spent years in France and Italy. How daunting that must have been for a simple lass from north Yorkshire. The order she joined was a teaching order, but she was poor and had no dowry, so she spent her life waiting on the other sisters and the priests, but she was uncomplaining, and very pious. In 1944 she was in France and her convent in Montpellier had to be evacuated, it was winter and she was about 78 years old by then. But she was extatic when she found that they were to be evacuated to Lourdes to their sister house. When they arrived it was freezing cold but she couldn’t wait to go across the river to the Grotto. She went with her sisters who later wrote that no-one knew what passed between her and her heavenly mother but as she knelt in prayer her faced glowed with a rapturous smile. Soon after she became ill and was moved into a room overlooking the Grotto, she had flu the doctor thought, however a few days later she died. So God was faithful to the little nun who served him in a very humble way, not only did she get to Lourdes, she is still there buried in the Order’s communal grave, there she sleeps. God is faithful to us all, trust in his love and he will sustain you through these times, and he really does hear our prayers but more importantly knows our hearts