Formula for confession

[dove51]

I always seem to make my priests exasperated in confession and it makes me feel bad that they are annoyed with me. I go to confession weekly, but I always feel like I do it wrong and I always get sad afterward. Can anyone help me figure out what I do wrong?

What is the proper preamble to say before confession? I have heard various things: “Bless me father, for I have sinned…” and “I confess to Almighty God and to you, father…” but I don’t know which is right.

When confessing, do you tick off sins like a laundry list, or make it a conversation of sorts? I can never seem to get this right. It’s just very awkward.

I almost feel like if I could hear someone confessing, I would be able to figure out the right way to do it, but of course I can’t do that.

 

[ericka1701]

I guess fortunately (and unfortunately for those like me that likes everything in black and white), there is no one set formula for confession. With one priest I go to, I start by saying “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been x time since my last confession” and another priest I go to asks how long it’s been since my last confession and I go right into my confession. Most of the times will list off my sins, but if I’m having alot of trouble with one, I might go into some details, but not every time. All priests act “In personna Christi”, so yes, you are confessing to Christ directly, but it’s through the priest who has a unique personality and and a preferance. If you feel as if you’re exasperating the priest, ask for suggestions. Or let him know you’re not sure how to confess exactly, and ask him for guidance.

Again, I just want to emphasize that there is no “right way” to do Confession, and the only thing that’s set is the Absolution at the end. May God bless and keep you and fill you with his abundant graces through this sacrament.

God Bless!
Ericka

 

[PhilotheaZ]

What is the proper preamble to say before confession? I have heard various things: “Bless me father, for I have sinned…” and “I confess to Almighty God and to you, father…” but I don’t know which is right.

Either one is fine.

When confessing, do you tick off sins like a laundry list, or make it a conversation of sorts? I can never seem to get this right. It’s just very awkward.

A good confession should not be a “laundry list,” especially if you are confessing frequently (once a week). We are only obligated to confess mortal sins, so for a week’s time that should go very quickly (and with weekly confession hopefully we receive the grace needed to avoid mortal sin completely). Beyond that, when confessing venial sins, it is better to confess one or two that are really giving us trouble, that are harming our relationships with others, that we are really striving to overcome, etc., that to confess a “laundry list” with no real purpose of amendment for any of them. Remember, with venial sins, as long as you confess at least one of them, all are forgiven. And focusing on one or two that you really intend to overcome will help you focus on those over the coming week. (How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.)

I always seem to make my priests exasperated in confession and it makes me feel bad that they are annoyed with me.

Perhaps you are being a little too “wordy.” When confessing, we need to have respect for our priests’ time. They are very busy. We need to be concise and accurate; name the sin, tell how many times you have committed it, and move on.

Another thing you might do is ask the priest for advice on how to make a better confession. Something like this: “Father, sometimes when I go to confession you sound a little exasperated. Is there something I should be doing differently?” Perhaps you are confessing things that he does not consider sinful, and he can help you form your conscience. Or maybe he is tired and had a bad day.

I almost feel like if I could hear someone confessing, I would be able to figure out the right way to do it, but of course I can’t do that.

Mine usually goes like this:

Sign of the Cross, followed by: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [two weeks, etc.] since my last confession. I have [name sin]. I have [name sin]. I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life.”

The whole thing probably takes less than a minute.