Fornication

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punisherthunder

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Greetings,
To get to the point. I have a problem with fornicating with my g/f. We have never had intercourse, but both of us climax. I am at my wits end. I feel sick whenever I do this with her lately because I feel that God is calling me back to his church. I know this sounds odd with me fornicating and trying to be a good Catholic. But has anyone else ever had this problem. I try saying Hail Marys WHENEVER I get the urge. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I know the simple thing is to stop, but I try SO HARD, and I sometimes I fall. I try praying, but I truly think I must have an addiction. Any help is greatly, greatly appreciated. Please do not judge me, I know what I do is wrong, all I want is to get out and get help. Thank you
 
The first thing to do if you haven’t already is make a good confession. You need to confess all unconfessed mortal sins by kind and (approximate) number for your confession to be valid. Don’t worry about confessing embarassing things, just do it and you’ll feel much better once you have. The number doesn’t have to be exact, just approximate if you can’t remember. For example, if you go to a doctor about having migraines it makes a difference whether you’re having them once a month or once a day. Here’s an examination of consciense that might help:
catholic.org/frz/examen/examen.htm

Don’t worry if you keep falling into mortal sin. Just keep frequenting confession. Also, make sure you receive Holy Communion as long as you don’t have any grave sins on your soul. Here’s some diary readings from St. Faustina that might help:
catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_confession.htm
catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_sinners.htm

Also, I recommend a devotion to Our Blessed Mother starting with three Hail Mary’s in the morning and evening to preserve you from mortal sin during the day/night:
catholic-church.org/grace/marian/3-hail-marys.htm

The book “True Devotion to Mary” (free online) might be of some interest:
ewtn.com/library/Montfort/TRUEDEVO.HTM

Here’s a website that might help:
pureloveclub.com/
 
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punisherthunder:
Greetings,

To get to the point. I have a problem with fornicating with my g/f. We have never had intercourse, but both of us climax. I am at my wits end. I feel sick whenever I do this with her lately because I feel that God is calling me back to his church. I know this sounds odd with me fornicating and trying to be a good Catholic. But has anyone else ever had this problem. I try saying Hail Marys WHENEVER I get the urge. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I know the simple thing is to stop, but I try SO HARD, and I sometimes I fall. I try praying, but I truly think I must have an addiction. Any help is greatly, greatly appreciated. Please do not judge me, I know what I do is wrong, all I want is to get out and get help. Thank you
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punisherthunder~
I’d say that “feeling sick” is an appropriate response when one commits a mortal sin, and risks eternal separation from God by going to hell & dragging one’s girlfriend along for the ride!
(I am in no way judging you, here–I just wanted to put it in a different light & give you more to consider.) I disagree with Madia here–I think you should absolutely worry about falling into mortal sin!

I’d suggest:
1.** Do not be alone together**. PERIOD. Admit you need a chaperone (no matter how old you are), and find one. It’s called “avoiding the near occasion of sin.”
2. Confess your sins frequently. A state of grace is a good state to be in.
3. Encourage your girlfriend to go to confession, as well.
4. Remember that it is not just yourself that you are harming. You are leading your girlfriend into sin, instead of being a righteous, honorable young man.
5. Definitely surf around the site already mentioned, www.pureloveclub.com. Do a search here & read what others have done.
6. Are you going to marry this young woman? If so, good. Just imagine how amazing your wedding night will be. If not, then why are you doing this to someone else’s wife?

God bless you & good luck. Pray to St. Augustine. Pray for your girlfriend’s purity. Fast for her sake!
 
I agree with StephanieC, do NOT put yourself in the occasion of sin by being alone with your girlfriend. You know this is a mortal sin and it is good to mediate on what that really means! Is it worth it to you, eternal separation from GOd?!? I trust that you truly care for your girlfriend. Remember that you are not only doing harm to yourself, but you are also leading your girl into sin.

Remember and mediate on these words of our Savior: “Matthew 18:6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
 
Thanks for all of your help on this. I have visited the purelove club on occaision and try to follow some of the things they do. I already have set up counseling with our parish priest for Wednesday. I just want to get on the right track and be the best Catholic I can. Thanks so much for relplying and helping.
 
Madia said:
%between%

Don’t worry if you keep falling into mortal sin. Just keep frequenting confession. Also, make sure you receive Holy Communion as long as you don’t have any grave sins on your soul. Here’s some diary readings from St. Faustina that might help:
catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_confession.htm
catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_sinners.htm
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Hold up.

Now lets just slow done a little here.

You should definitely be worried if you keep falling into mortal sin. Each one completely seperates you from God and is an act of defiance in his face.

You should do absolutely everything you can to stop yourself from committing such a sin.

It is said that St Padre Pio was shown the state of his soul and was horrified at how unclean it was. And think of the how saintly this man was!

Im not sure how you are climaxing without intercourse, but would suggest that if it happens when you are doing something (on a bed together watching tv or something) that you immediately stop that activity.

Say the rosary every day.

In Christ.

Andre.
 
Hold up.

Now lets just slow done a little here.

You should definitely be worried if you keep falling into mortal sin. Each one completely seperates you from God and is an act of defiance in his face.
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Maybe I shoud have said “don’t get discouraged” instead of “don’t worry”. My point was not to fall into despair if you keep falling back into mortal sin. It’s a hard road to travel but Christ is always there waiting to pick us up when we fall.
 
I would add to all of the above: talk this over with your GF. If you haven’t already been discussing it, your “sick” feeling is bound to be disturbing her, and any abrupt change in your relationship are bound to be disconcerting, to say the least. Now, I’m not saying don’t make the changes, but let her in on the discussion, and give her the opportunity to join you! Ultimately, it has the potential to bring you closer together - really, rather than just physically - and bring both of you closer to God!

God bless you in your struggles.
 
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