The priesthood is something that lurks deep within the recesses of my psyche. A kind of dull, implicit
longing towards it, one could say, lies there but I have not fed that urge or reflected deeply upon it. It is there, and I would never say no if it turned out to be God’s will for me. As yet however my course of study is geared towards something quite different. I’m going ahead with this for the forseeable future. I am 20 years old and heartened to find a young man such as yourself who is discerning. I am not
per se discerning. I’m nowhere near that stage and should think that I will not be for a good while yet, if ever. I can’t really describe what this
quiet feeling is that gives the priesthood some kind of, what should I say, ‘aura’ for me. I wouldn’t call it “discernment”, its much too weak and remote to be that. Nonetheless, I am celibate and actually
enjoy being single, such that I have also considered a religious life ie as a Dominian Brother rather than a priest. Perhaps that would be more in keeping with God’s plan for me rather than Holy Orders, perhaps not. I am caught. I do not really know ‘
who I am’ at this period in my life - the only ‘me’ I feel is the serene silence and nothingness of my individual self when engaged in Contemplative prayer, when the fullness of God comes into me. Nature abhors a vacuum and that’s what I feel like in myself - “empty”, except for the Holy Spirit within me at those times of heightened prayer. For this reason I have long considered life as a religious - not necessarily monastic, more turned towards as I said a Brother in the Dominican Order. I don’t know.
Apologies for going on a ramble

I’m a little confused as you can see. I am happy that you seem to be more certain about God’s will for your life than I am!
You will be in my prayers dear brother.