Found stray kitten by our house

[iepuras]

This morning, on the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi, I saw a little stray kitten on the side of our house as I was leaving for work. My husband was outside too and was not happy I saw the kitten. I asked him to feed the kitten, and he reluctantly agreed. My husband does not like cats and doesn’t want furry pets in the house. I love cats and have wanted one since we’ve been married (almost 6 years). Our children also like cats and play with my mother’s kitties.

I came to find out that the kitten has been hanging around the house and his mother has been feeding her milk. My in-laws live with us and don’t speak English (and I don’t speak their language) so they didn’t have a good way of telling me about the kitten. We live out in the country and the elderly neighbor across the street has an outdoor cat he adopted and my husband was hoping the kitten would go away or be adopted by our neighbor so I wouldn’t want to keep it. The kitten has been staying by our house and not the neighbor’s so my husband’s hopes have been dashed. We live on the edge of the forest and by a bayou so this is not the first time someone has dumped an animal in our neighborhood.

I really feel that St. Francis was looking out for this kitty and brought her to me on his feast day so that I could take care of her. I already have an appointment to take her to the vet next week and my husband has reluctantly agreed to let me buy food and other things for the kitten. I have also named the kitten Francis.

I am new to Catholicism and am not familiar with all the prayers to the various saints. Is there a prayer to St. Francis to help soften my husband’s heart towards the kitten so I can bring her in the house? He seems to be agreeable to keep it as an outdoor cat, but there are owls, coyotes and bobcats in the woods. I don’t want little Francis to become prey. I am hopeful that I can at least bring the kitten into our sunroom so she will have protection from the predators. My husband is normally not so mean, but he really is when it comes to cats.

 

[styrgwillidar]

Sorry, you’re husband isn’t being mean. He’s being truthful and upfront- he doesn’t like furry critters in his home. He was upfront with you about that and you knew his feelings. Yet, you want to push this on him.

Hopefully you two will work it out in a spirit of compromise. And you will also be willing to compromise and do things you have always made clear to him you’re uncomfortable with.

 

[Lormar]

This morning, on the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi, I saw a little stray kitten on the side of our house as I was leaving for work. My husband was outside too and was not happy I saw the kitten. I asked him to feed the kitten, and he reluctantly agreed. My husband does not like cats and doesn’t want furry pets in the house. I love cats and have wanted one since we’ve been married (almost 6 years). Our children also like cats and play with my mother’s kitties.

I came to find out that the kitten has been hanging around the house and his mother has been feeding her milk. My in-laws live with us and don’t speak English (and I don’t speak their language) so they didn’t have a good way of telling me about the kitten. We live out in the country and the elderly neighbor across the street has an outdoor cat he adopted and my husband was hoping the kitten would go away or be adopted by our neighbor so I wouldn’t want to keep it. The kitten has been staying by our house and not the neighbor’s so my husband’s hopes have been dashed. We live on the edge of the forest and by a bayou so this is not the first time someone has dumped an animal in our neighborhood.

I really feel that St. Francis was looking out for this kitty and brought her to me on his feast day so that I could take care of her. I already have an appointment to take her to the vet next week and my husband has reluctantly agreed to let me buy food and other things for the kitten. I have also named the kitten Francis.

I am new to Catholicism and am not familiar with all the prayers to the various saints. Is there a prayer to St. Francis to help soften my husband’s heart towards the kitten so I can bring her in the house? He seems to be agreeable to keep it as an outdoor cat, but there are owls, coyotes and bobcats in the woods. I don’t want little Francis to become prey. I am hopeful that I can at least bring the kitten into our sunroom so she will have protection from the predators. My husband is normally not so mean, but he really is when it comes to cats.

You have every right to think the way you do.

Just pray to St. Francis from your heart. No need for formality. Pray to St. Martin dePorres (a Dominican saint) too. He loves cats and dogs. St. Bernard of Corleone (another Franciscan) loved cats too. I will pray as well that your husband’s heart softens.

The kitten should be brought inside if you can do it. If not, please try to find a good home for little Francis. If you do keep him, get him neutered.

 

[dshix]

I agree. If your husband truly doesn’t want cats, you can try to convince him to change his mind, but to call him “mean” for saying he doesn’t like cats is unfair.

Besides, if the kitten itself can’t convince him to fall in love with it I don’t think you’ll have any luck by other means.

 

[His_helpmeet]

As a cat lover, I can understand your uncomfortable position. I am not certain as to whether there is a specific prayer in honour of St. Francis in this regard.

You should be aware that kittens can be very destructive, especially if you’re not always home to look after them. Usually it is best to have someone at home all the time, at least for the first while, if you intend to attempt to adopt this kitten.

If your husband still refuses to have the cat in the house, I would recommend taking little Francis to a shelter. If you do decide to keep him, I would STRONGLY recommend having him neutered. While the use of artificial contraception in humans is contrary to Catholic teaching, animals do not have the ability to understand intercourse as anything other than a mating ritual designed to be procreative. Consequently, spaying/neutering pets is consistent with good stewardship by preventing pet overpopulation.

If neutering is expensive, you might look into the possibility of a shelter doing it for you. Sometimes they will offer a reduced rate for people who are low-income.

 

[MaryT777]

Blessings to you for taking care of this kitty. I hope it works out with you and your husband It’s a tricky issue. I was never a cat lover but I had a roommate that “came with a kitty” and I grew accustomed to the kitty over time.

So there’s always hope; pray for God’s wiill so that the kitty doesn’t become a
problem between you and your husband. That wouldn’t be worth it since as noted
your husband was upfront about his feelings of “furry things.” With God all things are possible.

Mary.

 

[KimberlyCat]

Hooray for kitty “Francis”! Thank You for being so concerned about this sweetheart. Don’t worry about your husband’s dislike of cats. Once little Francis starts hanging out and loving on your husband everyday your husband’s heart will melt and Francis will be the center of his world. Happens all the time. Enjoy! God Bless You

 

[tabycat]

You have every right to think the way you do.

Just pray to St. Francis from your heart. No need for formality. Pray to St. Martin dePorres (a Dominican saint) too. He loves cats and dogs. St. Bernard of Corleone (another Franciscan) loved cats too. I will pray as well that your husband’s heart softens.

The kitten should be brought inside if you can do it. If not, please try to find a good home for little Francis. If you do keep him, get him neutered.

There is St. Bernard (the one that the St. Bernard dog is named for).

 

[styrgwillidar]

Hooray for kitty “Francis”! Thank You for being so concerned about this sweetheart. Don’t worry about your husband’s dislike of cats. Once little Francis starts hanging out and loving on your husband everyday your husband’s heart will melt and Francis will be the center of his world. Happens all the time. Enjoy! God Bless You

Be careful. Steamrolling over your husband and disregarding his feelings and wishes in this respect can breed resentment down the road. Particularly if you do not make similar compromises yourself down the road. That is, be willing to make changes in your home that you are uncomfortable with and have even expressed your feelings up front.

Pets can be quite a commitment in time and money, I think it is unfair to drag this into your home without your husband’s willing agreement. I do not think you can count on your husband falling in love with the furry critter. Many folks don’t.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

You have every right to think the way you do.

Just pray to St. Francis from your heart. No need for formality. Pray to St. Martin dePorres (a Dominican saint) too. He loves cats and dogs. St. Bernard of Corleone (another Franciscan) loved cats too. I will pray as well that your husband’s heart softens.

The kitten should be brought inside if you can do it. If not, please try to find a good home for little Francis. If you do keep him, get him neutered.

And Pope Emeritus Benedict had cats!

 

[Lormar]

Hooray for kitty “Francis”! Thank You for being so concerned about this sweetheart. Don’t worry about your husband’s dislike of cats. Once little Francis starts hanging out and loving on your husband everyday your husband’s heart will melt and Francis will be the center of his world. Happens all the time. Enjoy! God Bless You

 

[Lormar]

And Pope Emeritus Benedict had cats!

I have a picture of him sitting on a chair, his head leaning on his arm, looking like “what am I going to do now?” and he has an orange cat curled up in his lap blissfully sleeping.

 

[iepuras]

Oh, my husband is mean about cats and he admits it. It is not unfair to restate what he readily admits. If he sees one crossing the road when he is driving, he speeds up. Although, I think he does that primarily to get a rise out of me.

And styrgwillidar, it is OUR home, not his. We are pretty good at compromising, so please don’t make assumptions on how our marriage works when you really have NO CLUE. If anyone “steamrolls” it is my husband because I have a softer heart than he does. We both have gotten much better at compromising over the years. He grew up on a farm and believes that animals have a purpose and that purpose is outside. However, he is more agreeable to having a dog, bunny or guinea pigs in the house. His thing is cats, not other animals. I don’t really care for dogs so we don’t have one. Honestly, I want a cat in the house to go after the tree roaches that get in.

My husband is ok to feed the kitten and keep it outside. I am just concerned about the wildlife that prey on cats so I would like to keep it in our sunroom, which we can close off from the rest of the house, at night. At this point, I will just have to take care of Francis outside.

I will definitely get Francis to the vet for shots, deworming and getting fixed. Due to the warm weather in Texas, cats can easily have 2-3 litters in a year and we don’t need more stray kittens! Fortunately, the vet in our town has very reasonable prices so it is not a problem to provide some vet care for an outside cat.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation with her husband. She wants a cat. He refuses to agree to it. We’ve both agreed to outlive our husbands and become crazy cat ladies together in our old age!

 

[Lormar]

Oh, my husband is mean about cats and he admits it. It is not unfair to restate what he readily admits. If he sees one crossing the road when he is driving, he speeds up. Although, I think he does that primarily to get a rise out of me.

And styrgwillidar, it is OUR home, not his. We are pretty good at compromising, so please don’t make assumptions on how our marriage works when you really have NO CLUE. If anyone “steamrolls” it is my husband because I have a softer heart than he does. We both have gotten much better at compromising over the years. He grew up on a farm and believes that animals have a purpose and that purpose is outside. However, he is more agreeable to having a dog, bunny or guinea pigs in the house. His thing is cats, not other animals. I don’t really care for dogs so we don’t have one. Honestly, I want a cat in the house to go after the tree roaches that get in.

My husband is ok to feed the kitten and keep it outside. I am just concerned about the wildlife that prey on cats so I would like to keep it in our sunroom, which we can close off from the rest of the house, at night. At this point, I will just have to take care of Francis outside.

I will definitely get Francis to the vet for shots, deworming and getting fixed. Due to the warm weather in Texas, cats can easily have 2-3 litters in a year and we don’t need more stray kittens! Fortunately, the vet in our town has very reasonable prices so it is not a problem to provide some vet care for an outside cat.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation with her husband. She wants a cat. He refuses to agree to it. We’ve both agreed to outlive our husbands and become crazy cat ladies together in our old age!

God bless you, dear woman. And little Francis too, as well as your cat loving friend.

I will keep you all in my prayers.

 

[dshix]

Oh, my husband is mean about cats and he admits it. It is not unfair to restate what he readily admits. If he sees one crossing the road when he is driving, he speeds up. Although, I think he does that primarily to get a rise out of me.

And styrgwillidar, it is OUR home, not his. We are pretty good at compromising, so please don’t make assumptions on how our marriage works when you really have NO CLUE. If anyone “steamrolls” it is my husband because I have a softer heart than he does. We both have gotten much better at compromising over the years. He grew up on a farm and believes that animals have a purpose and that purpose is outside. However, he is more agreeable to having a dog, bunny or guinea pigs in the house. His thing is cats, not other animals. I don’t really care for dogs so we don’t have one. Honestly, I want a cat in the house to go after the tree roaches that get in.

My husband is ok to feed the kitten and keep it outside. I am just concerned about the wildlife that prey on cats so I would like to keep it in our sunroom, which we can close off from the rest of the house, at night. At this point, I will just have to take care of Francis outside.

I will definitely get Francis to the vet for shots, deworming and getting fixed. Due to the warm weather in Texas, cats can easily have 2-3 litters in a year and we don’t need more stray kittens! Fortunately, the vet in our town has very reasonable prices so it is not a problem to provide some vet care for an outside cat.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation with her husband. She wants a cat. He refuses to agree to it. We’ve both agreed to outlive our husbands and become crazy cat ladies together in our old age!

I think you need to get some priorities in order. Cats are animals without free will, an intellect, or an immortal soul.

Your husband is a human with all three, and he is your husband. Your obligation to love for your husband and respect for his wishes is infinitely greater than your obligation to good stewardship of animals.

I know people who hate cats, and I understand their reasons. Cats shed hair incessantly when indoors, they scratch up furniture, they get into and damage sensitive objects, they stink if a litter is not constantly cleaned, and they take revenge on you if they think you are somehow staffing their home insufficiently.

You should seriously consider whether or not it is worth it to frustrate and anger your husband just to satisfy your own wish to have a cat. If the cat wins him over, all well and good, but otherwise, I’d just let it go.

God bless you, dear woman. And little Francis too, as well as your cat loving friend.

I will keep you all in my prayers.

You are acting as if she is helping to stop world hunger or something. It is a CAT. This is not a corporal work of mercy.

 

[Aggie414]

Don’t worry about your husband’s dislike of cats. Once little Francis starts hanging out and loving on your husband everyday your husband’s heart will melt and Francis will be the center of his world. Happens all the time.

And what happens if this doesn’t happen? What happens if the wife does exactly what she wants to do with total disregard for the husband’s wishes? (I’m not saying she will. She seems that she’s hoping they can come to a mutual agreement about what to do with little Frances) Does that give the husband free reign to just do exactly what he wants regardless of his wife’s wishes? Then would your response be “just do it. She’ll come around” or would it be how insensitive to his wife’s wishes he is?

I honestly believe that you did not mean your post to come across that way, but that’s exactly how it sounded to me. I am not a cat person – I like visiting my friend’s cats. I am a dog person and do not see myself ever not having a dog. Should I meet someone who doesn’t like dogs, it would be a very hard decision to make, being willing to give up one of the biggest joys of my life; but I would certainly not make that decision and then try to submarine my husband by just disregarding his wishes and bringing an animal into the house that I know he does not want.

 

[styrgwillidar]

Oh, my husband is mean about cats and he admits it. It is not unfair to restate what he readily admits. If he sees one crossing the road when he is driving, he speeds up. Although, I think he does that primarily to get a rise out of me.

And styrgwillidar, it is OUR home, not his. We are pretty good at compromising, so please don’t make assumptions on how our marriage works when you really have NO CLUE. If anyone “steamrolls” it is my husband because I have a softer heart than he does. We both have gotten much better at compromising over the years. He grew up on a farm and believes that animals have a purpose and that purpose is outside. However, he is more agreeable to having a dog, bunny or guinea pigs in the house. His thing is cats, not other animals. I don’t really care for dogs so we don’t have one. Honestly, I want a cat in the house to go after the tree roaches that get in.

My husband is ok to feed the kitten and keep it outside. I am just concerned about the wildlife that prey on cats so I would like to keep it in our sunroom, which we can close off from the rest of the house, at night. At this point, I will just have to take care of Francis outside.

I will definitely get Francis to the vet for shots, deworming and getting fixed. Due to the warm weather in Texas, cats can easily have 2-3 litters in a year and we don’t need more stray kittens! Fortunately, the vet in our town has very reasonable prices so it is not a problem to provide some vet care for an outside cat.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation with her husband. She wants a cat. He refuses to agree to it. We’ve both agreed to outlive our husbands and become crazy cat ladies together in our old age!

I’m not making any assumptions. I’ve been taking you at your word. Your description of him. I’ve been responding more to the assumption from others that your husband should be expected to ‘just get over it’ and must accept it, and will fall in love with the little critter… Obviously, you know him and his actual attitude better than any of us.

I hope you are as supportive of him getting a dog for your home as you expect him to be of you getting a cat.

I’ve had both cats and dogs. My personal line is - no animals sleep in my bed. Period. Non-negotiable, but that’s just me. Peace to you and yours, always.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think you need to get some priorities in order. Cats are animals without free will, an intellect, or an immortal soul.

Your husband is a human with all three, and he is your husband. Your obligation to love for your husband and respect for his wishes is infinitely greater than your obligation to good stewardship of animals.

I know people who hate cats, and I understand their reasons. Cats shed hair incessantly when indoors, they scratch up furniture, they get into and damage sensitive objects, they stink if a litter is not constantly cleaned, and they take revenge on you if they think you are somehow staffing their home insufficiently.

You should seriously consider whether or not it is worth it to frustrate and anger your husband just to satisfy your own wish to have a cat. If the cat wins him over, all well and good, but otherwise, I’d just let it go.

You are acting as if she is helping to stop world hunger or something. It is a CAT. This is not a corporal work of mercy.

**CCC 2416 ***Animals are God’s creatures. He surrounds them with his providential care. By their mere existence they bless him and give him glory.197 Thus men owe them kindness. We should recall the gentleness with which saints like St. Francis of Assisi or St. Philip Neri treated animals. *

CCC 2418* It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. It is likewise unworthy to spend money on them that should as a priority go to the relief of human misery. One can love animals; one should not direct to them the affection due only to persons.*

It is a positive moral act to extend care to an animal that would suffer without it, particularly a domesticated animal that someone else has chosen to neglect. By showing care for the kitten, the OP is extending care that someone else has negligently withheld.

In most places, even stray cats are still property, and there are usually certain legal avenues that have to be followed before taking ownership of an animal that belongs to someone else. Ask the local animal welfare people what you are obliged to do in that regard.

As for keeping it, you cannot keep it over your husband’s objections, but I have known many fellows to grow rather fond of cats that they allowed into their homes grudgingly. If promises are made about where the cat is to be allowed, what care it will get or not get, and who will be responsible for the animal, those promises must be kept without fail. If your husband vetoes the acquisition of this cat, though–sorry, that’s it. No cat. Both spouses have to agree.

 

[iepuras]

Your obligation to love for your husband and respect for his wishes is infinitely greater than your obligation to good stewardship of animals.

Um, I am respecting his wishes. He is ok for me to take care of the cat so long as it stays outside. I am accepting that. I wish he was more compassionate about my feelings in this situation but he is not. I don’t think there is anything wrong with praying for his heart to soften in secret without pushing the issue. I have used this method before - leave him alone about an issue, pray about it in secret and hope his heart softens - successfully.

And styrgwillidar, I am supportive of my husband getting a dog when we are ready. We have both agreed that as soon as we are finished clearing our acreage and fence in our property, we will get a dog.

 

[Lormar]

I think you need to get some priorities in order. Cats are animals without free will, an intellect, or an immortal soul.

Your husband is a human with all three, and he is your husband. Your obligation to love for your husband and respect for his wishes is infinitely greater than your obligation to good stewardship of animals.

I know people who hate cats, and I understand their reasons. Cats shed hair incessantly when indoors, they scratch up furniture, they get into and damage sensitive objects, they stink if a litter is not constantly cleaned, and they take revenge on you if they think you are somehow staffing their home insufficiently.

You should seriously consider whether or not it is worth it to frustrate and anger your husband just to satisfy your own wish to have a cat. If the cat wins him over, all well and good, but otherwise, I’d just let it go.

You are acting as if she is helping to stop world hunger or something. It is a CAT. This is not a corporal work of mercy.

If this topic disturbs you so much, don’t read it.