Fr or first name

  • Thread starter Thread starter Shae
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Shae

Guest
I’m a grown adult, but I’ve grown with the rule to respect titles. So I’m just wondering. I hear lots of parishioners call nuns and priests by their first name, and I’ve heard they prefer this anyway. Especially if your in the same age group. I still call my aunties and uncles, well aunty and uncle Bob, Chris whatever. You know what* I mean. wow how did I suddenly get slanty writing, are my eyes playing tricks, is my writing slany, yes it is. Let me know how you call priests and nuns. Thanks.*

Shae
 
It depends. In the old days it used to be Fr Smith. However, now when I am addressing my priests, I always say Fr. John or whatever.

Depending upon the nature of the relationship that is whether it is official church business or more social and strictly according to that priest’s preference if permission is granted to use just the name then I take it for granted. However, I prefer sticking with Fr. John (first name, not last name).

Maggie
 
This is an issue that has been a concern of mine. I can understand the need for religious to narrow the gulf that seperates them from secular life in regards to being able to make a personal connection with people. I also feel that the main front of attack waged by the culture of death against life is the blurring of the bonds within the family as defined by the Church.

I think the need to connect verses the need to maintain the boundary between parents and children is in the balance with this issue. Especially when the fact that the mental maturity of parents is becoming less and less adult in western culture and a parents temptation to be a sibling to their child is increasing over time.
 
I would respectfully decline to call a priest by his first name, unless it was preceded by “Father.” If they don’t want reverence shown to them, they should at least want reverence shown to the indelible mark of Christ’s Priesthood that has been marked in them. They are icons of Christ.
 
I agree. Being in my mid-forties, I’m starting to encounter priests that are younger than I am. However, as long as they are worthy to wear the collar, they are worthy of the title “Father”.
 
Traditionally, secular priests (diocesean priests or most regular parish priests) go by “Father Last Name.” Religious priests (or brothers) generally go by “Father/Brother First Name.” This was not out of an attempt to “bridge the gulf” between the laity and the clergy, but rather as an attempt to identify the religious with his congregation. As a rule, priests don’t (privately) call each other “Father ____” unless they’re speaking to a superior. I’m currently in formation for a religious community and this has been one of the most difficult things to get used to. Personally, I like the traditional practice, both because it increases a measure of respect for parish priests, while simultaneously recognizing the rightful place of religious in this whole thing.
 
I always call our priest Father (last name). When I am speaking about him I will usually call him Father (first name). Most of the people seem to call him Fathe (first name). My kids are usually with me when I see Father and I want them to learn respectful forms of address - not just for priests, but everyone. 🙂

And Shae, I still address all my aunts and uncles as “aunt ____” or “uncle _____” and even still call my parents friends Mr or Mrs.
 
I call my Priests Father ‘first name’ as the are of the Capuchin order, but my priests are also my employers and when they speak to me I still say Father “__”. But often when I am talking to the community they all call each other by their first names only and will say to me something like ‘have you seen Bernard’ and I will reply ‘No, I have not seen Father Bernard’. One day a parishioner came in to the cloisters and I was talking to a Brother and a Priest, this parishioner said hello to me and then said ‘Hello Brother Lawrence’ and then turned to the young Priest and said ‘Hi Peter’; so I turned around furiously and said ‘IT’S FATHER PETER TO YOU’ :mad: needless to say she just carried on walking with her tail between her legs.

Yours in the Spirit

Pious
 
I just about always call priests by “Father ,first name.”

The only exception is a high school buddy who’s a priest. In personal conversation, he’s still ‘Jerry’

(When talking to other’s about him, or in a public conversation with him, it’s “Father Jerry”)
 
We would not call our parents by their first names, no matter our ages? The vocation of a priest to to be a spiritual father. Why drop the title?
 
don’t know if the question refers to dropping the title of Father, or calling priests by first name rather than last name. Fr. Bob or Fr. Kelly. When I was in school in the 60s the pastor was always Father Cairns or Father Hubbell, we would not have dreamed about calling them by first name, but you always had a “rookie” the young priest learning the ropes in his first assignment, usually assigned to help with first communion and confirmation class, CYO, youth group etc. He was always “Fr. Joe”. Later as he became prominent in a successful social justice ministry, he was Fr. Cunningham, but still Fr. Joe to close friends.

Down here it is all first names, and we are small enough and have so few priests (relative to the number of Catholics) that Fr. First-name is all you need to identify a priest. We had 2 Fr. Pats but fortunately one is now a Monsignior (sp?).
 
I call my priest, Father (First name). This is the way he introduces himself and the way he signs everything that is meant for the parish to read. In fact, when his last name is used, he is uncomfortable with it a bit.

Calling him “Father” was a bit hard for me at first. He is younger then me, plus I am a convert. But I respect “Chain of Command” and know that he represents Christ. So FATHER it is… 👍
 
I always call my priest “Fr. Jeff”. That’s what he refers to himself as and what he signs everything relating to Church business as, so that’s what I call him. I wouldn’t dream of referring him to him as just “Jeff”. That would be extremely presumptious and might suggest a familiarity between us that isn’t there. Sometimes, I think, the laity has to look out for their priests and do our part to make sure not even a hint of scandal is present.

Scout :tiphat:
 
I’m in the act of applying to the seminary, and as part of the discernment process I spend a lot of time with our parish priests, both of whom are fairly young (the older of the two is in his early 40’s at the youngest, the associate was just ordained and turned 30 recently).

I spend considerable time with them. I joke with them, I watch TV with them, I generally get to “hang out” with priests. Every Sunday, I spend my morning’s in the Rectory, where I often have breakfast with them. I would never dream of calling either one of them by their first name only. Our pastor goes by his first name, but it’s Father (FirstName). Our associate prefers to go by his last name, but it’s still Father (LastName). In fact, our associate told stories about his pre-seminary and seminarian life, and had experiences with priests who did not wish to be called Father. However, he refused to go along with this. So, especially if he saw the priest out in a grocery store, he would say “Hello, Father _______.” And the priest would answer “You don’t have to call me Father, it’s just _________.” And our associate would always politely say. “Thank you. Enjoy your shopping, Father.” And walk away.

I think it’s important to remember the role of the priest, and especially to remember that his role of Father isn’t just a title of respect, but a very real name for him. In fact, one of the things that I love about being Catholic is knowing that I don’t just have my biological father on Earth, but countless fathers out there.
 
In my parish (and the one next door that I sometimes attend – I love that church!), it’s generally “Father __________” or “Monsignor __________.”

Except for one priest in his mid-60s whom everyone loves. People sometimes refer to him as “Father Dan,” but not to his face, I think. Anyway, he’s about to move to a different parish. (Lucky them!)

I’ve never heard a Monsignor called “Father.” (Hope I never do.)
 
Shae,
in case you didn’t figure it out yet, the slanty writing probably happened by accidentally hitting the “ctrl” key what you typed the capitalized I in that sentence.
 
Referring to diocesan priests as “Father” is a fairly modern innovation, popularized by England’s Cardinal Manning. Before then, “Rev. Mr.” or “Rev. Dr.” was the norm.

Tradition still says the academic title is prefered to “Father”, though around the time of WW2, “Msgr.” began to trump “Dr,” and not everyone follows tradition.

Nevertheless, in America, “Father” has become the almost universal custom.
 
The title “Father” for diocesan priests is a fairly recent innovation, popularized by England’s Cardinal Manning. Before then, priests who were not members of religious orders were addressed “Rev. Mr. ___” or “Rev. Dr. ___”.

Around the time of WW2, the title “Msgr.” began to “trump” the academic title. Tradition still says that the academic title is prefered to “Father” but not everyone follows tradition.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top