Fragile new catholic....learning to trust

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gentlefaith

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i am a new Catholic, i was baptized last year.i have been transformed in so many ways, god has been incredibly gracious and kind to me. my life is so good and so so much better.

i still struggle with issues from my past, i still have huge issues with trust. i work daily at this, and pray about it. i pray for my children, myself, my friends, my boyfriend… i ask god to help them, if i know of an issue i mention that. i pray for the lord to bless these people with what they need, because i often do not know what they really need, and even they do not always know. i pray my rosary daily, i attend mass nearly everyday. i have changed so many things in my life to live a life as close to god as i can.

i love my lord deeply and i am so thankful and grateful for my new life.

i was recently told that because i still have issues with trust, with trusting god totally. that because i cant simply accept that i am loved and good in gods sight, that being unable to understand and accept that god allows free will ( childhood abuse issues and my questions of where was god etc) that my issues make this person feel sorry for me… that i MUST trust god and accept his love but since i am not there, and i can not do that… i am essentially in sin.

my heart is deeply wounded. i know that i love god, i know that i have issues with trust, i know that because of my past this will take alot of time. i feel today that i am a failure that i am maybe deluding myself? because of the implication these statements made.

I want to trust god, i want to give everything to him. i do not know how to let go, and i have no basis to make this happen. is it a sin that i am still learning to trust god? is it a sin because a year after baptism i am not… where someone else thinks i should be?

if i am in sin please tell me… please direct me to what i need to do to make things right. i love god and i feel very blessed this last year… these comments have bruised my heart and soul and i feel as if i am way off track. can anyone help please?
 
Welcome to the forums, and congratulations on joining God’s Church!

I suspect that what happened here is the person in question miscommunicated the Church’s teaching to you. Of course we’re called on to trust God; that’s a given (after all, if you can’t trust God, whom can you trust?). But God understands that we’re human and fall short of the mark.

It is often said that despair (not depression, which is a mental health issue) is the ultimate sin, because it denies hope. By despairing, we actively reject the possibility that God could love us, and I don’t think that’s where you are. You simply have some difficult questions to which you have not yet found satisfactory answers. And your questions are the classic hard ones: if God is all-powerful and good, why does evil exist? How can there be pain in the world? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. They are difficult to understand, and there’s nothing wrong with trying to figure it out. Many philosphers and theologians have struggled – and continue to struggle – with these questions. You aren’t alone, and it isn’t a sin.

In short, I don’t think you’re “in sin” because you’re working on trusting God. The cliche “Let go and let God” is a cliche because we all need to work on trusting Him. You’re in a mighty big boat, with a lot of people in the same situation you’re in.

I’ve always thought that the “Footprints” poem had a lot more to do with religious difficulty (like struggling with your faith) than with secular difficulties. That’s where you are now, and He is carrying you through one of the hard parts in your life. He will be there for the rest of it, too. Have heart, and keep on the journey you’ve already begun. You’ll do fine.
 
Dear gentlefaith,

I very much admire your humble walking with the Lord as He leads you in a life of prayer, and wish I had a Catholic friend like you. 🙂

Praying that you will be blessed with the gift of greater trust,

~~ the phoenix
 
Just wanted to say welcome home! (((((hugs))))

Faith, hope, trust, love are decisions, not emotions. If you are choosing to trust God & your actions are reflecting that you should have no guilty feeling over not “feeling” like you’re trusting God. All you can do is change the outside, God will change the inside. Many :gopray2:s for you on your journey.
 
I will pray that you will soon know the love of God, know that He loves you no matter what, and that He will never, ever desert you. Life throws us curves from time to time, and mortals disappoint, but God will always be there for you. He will never, ever betray your trust in Him.

God be with you.
 
Welcome to the Catholic Church! I came into the Church last year also, it is a wonderful thing to know that God loved us so much that He led us Home!

What you are struggling with is something every human struggles with, it is part of our journey. Learning to trust God is what we will continue to learn and grow in until the day we leave this world. And when we think we have it down, something will come along to challenge us and let us know that we haven’t trusted like we thought we did, and then we have to continue on the journey to greater trust. Don’t despair! You’re on the right road, rejoice in that!

And because you have been hurt, especially as a child, trust and intimacy issues are the deep, deep wounds that still need to be healed, and this is sometimes an extremely slow process. Healing is not always a total matter of will, but being open to it is essential. God has started the process in you, He will see it through. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things to keep you on the right path to that healing. Stay the course, tell yourself over and over again about the Mercy of Christ, keep it in you heart and mind always!

God Bless You!
 
gentlefaith:

All good advice in the answers here. You are not in sin.

St. Paul says Faith matures, and indeed the degree you will attain is measured out to you by God(grace). He will reveal to you in His good time what you need. Meanwhile our task is to remain receptive by means such as the good works you are carrying out now through your obligations and devotions, and not putting up barriers to it through serious sin.

Put your chin up and be happy that you have acheived by God’s grace this milestone in your struggle and keep up what you are doing. Jesus says we are to be glad in our work as well.

Remember that all things cannot be reasoned out while in this world as the reasoning is limited to what we can perceive or conceptualize in our material mind, but trust(faith) that God has the answer for you when you eventually meet.

New Advent.org/Faith

“…for faith is essentially an act of assent, and just as assent to a series of deductive or inductive reasonings, or to intuition of first principles, would be impossible without the light of reason, so, to assent to a supernatural truth would be inconceivable without a supernatural strengthening of the natural light.”

So don’t be concerned by anyone who claims to have correctly analyzed the state of your Faith, and finds it deficient. We are all striving and on a ladder to perfection, and you can believe safely that God does not cause the misery of this world.

I recommend you read the link I supplied here for an explaination on Faith(trust).

AndyF
 
thank you for finding the right forum i am sorry i didn’t know which one and yea i read all the choices lol

your replies ease my heart so much! i read a comment by Father Sherpa? to another about the cross(es) we are to carry, it made sense today that my cross just maybe my struggles with trust… seeing it in the light of a cross to carry made it seem less impossible…

you are a kind and generous group of people, thank you for your thoughts and words, it means much to me.

andyf: i have recently been pondering those two words faith and trust…they have been mentioned in recent homilies, i will read that link soon thank you.

i will read these words often thank you!!!:grouphug:
 
gentlefaith,

When we read the NT scriptures we never find a finished Christian. Instead, we find that all are on the path and that the scriptures are filled with words of encouragement and exhortation.

Each of us has a cross to bear in life. Jesus says that we must pick up our cross daily and follow him. It sounds like that is exactly what you are doing. You carry a heavy cross in terms of your past experiences. Jesus recognizes this and sees all of your effort. Time spent with the Lord at mass, in private prayer, and in adoration will over time bring the peace and trust that you seek.

The fullness of peace and trust will take a life time. When we die in the arms of the Lord we will have reached the point of ultimate trust. Then our peace and joy will be complete. Run the race and take joy in growing into salvation. The love of Jesus sustains us and in time we will grow in the spiritual gifts that he bestows upon us. Think of your progress thus far and continue in faith. The Lord will not disappoint you even if difficult times befall you.
 
gentlefaith said:
i am a new Catholic, i was baptized last year.i have been transformed in so many ways, god has been incredibly gracious and kind to me. my life is so good and so so much better.

i still struggle with issues from my past, i still have huge issues with trust. i work daily at this, and pray about it. i pray for my children, myself, my friends, my boyfriend… i ask god to help them, if i know of an issue i mention that. i pray for the lord to bless these people with what they need, because i often do not know what they really need, and even they do not always know. i pray my rosary daily, i attend mass nearly everyday. i have changed so many things in my life to live a life as close to god as i can.

i love my lord deeply and i am so thankful and grateful for my new life.

i was recently told that because i still have issues with trust, with trusting god totally. that because i cant simply accept that i am loved and good in gods sight, that being unable to understand and accept that god allows free will ( childhood abuse issues and my questions of where was god etc) that my issues make this person feel sorry for me… that i MUST trust god and accept his love but since i am not there, and i can not do that… i am essentially in sin.

my heart is deeply wounded. i know that i love god, i know that i have issues with trust, i know that because of my past this will take alot of time. i feel today that i am a failure that i am maybe deluding myself? because of the implication these statements made.

I want to trust god, i want to give everything to him. i do not know how to let go, and i have no basis to make this happen. is it a sin that i am still learning to trust god? is it a sin because a year after baptism i am not… where someone else thinks i should be?

if i am in sin please tell me… please direct me to what i need to do to make things right. i love god and i feel very blessed this last year… these comments have bruised my heart and soul and i feel as if i am way off track. can anyone help please?
Click to expand...
catholicforum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy1.htm

our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faustyna_Kowalska
 
techno: thank you for the links! i had lost my divine mercy book (misplaced) for a couple of months and had forgotten that important message!! the links are a welcome reminder of what i was learning! thank you so much!

i found the book too!!!👍
 
gentlefaith said:
techno: thank you for the links! i had lost my divine mercy book (misplaced) for a couple of months and had forgotten that important message!! the links are a welcome reminder of what i was learning! thank you so much!

i found the book too!!!👍
Click to expand...
Get this little Book,here is the the on-line version :The Pieta Prayer Book 🙂

angelfire.com/ca3/rafaelmarie/ThePieta/bstbridgetprayers.html

angelfire.com/ca3/rafaelmarie/ThePieta/athepieta.html

catholicbooksonline.org/item.asp?PID=294
 
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