Fraternal correction did not work. Now what?

[Oneofthewomen]

I have a large group of friends who are all parishioners of my former parish.
As my schedule allows, I attend the Saturday vigil Mass with them and then go out for dinner & socializing. These people have been my friends for years, and many of them were instrumental players in my return to the faith.

There are a couple of spouses who are not Catholic, but come from mainline protestant denominations, Episcopalian & Lutheran. When I attended this parish regularly, neither of the these people received commmunion, as they had not yet converted. This last time I went, which was the first time since January, both received communion.

After Mass, I congratulated both of them on them being Confirmed into the Church, and asked why they had not told me, as I would have made it a point to arrange my schedule to be able to attend the Easter Vigil at that parish this year.

It was then that I got the news- neither of them had gone through the process, and had taken it upon themselves, even though they were aware of the Catholic Chruch teaching on this, to receive communion anyway.

I tried, very charitably, to explain to them that they were wrong and they should cease from receiving communion until they are in “full communion” with the Church. Well, the table errupted with laughter, and all those present rolled their eyes at me, told me I was too legalistic, and that Jesus would never turn anyone away. I wanted to cry. :crying:

Feeling that I had done what I could at the time, I let it drop. I did, however, confront both couples again, in private and again tried to explain why what they were doing was wrong and that they should go to the Pastor and discuss this situation, post haste. And again I was met with laughter & mockery.

So, now what? I am praying for all involved, but I am just not too sure if there is anything else I should do.
What would you do if you were in this situation?

 

[anp1215]

I have a large group of friends who are all parishioners of my former parish.
As my schedule allows, I attend the Saturday vigil Mass with them and then go out for dinner & socializing. These people have been my friends for years, and many of them were instrumental players in my return to the faith.

There are a couple of spouses who are not Catholic, but come from mainline protestant denominations, Episcopalian & Lutheran. When I attended this parish regularly, neither of the these people received commmunion, as they had not yet converted. This last time I went, which was the first time since January, both received communion.

After Mass, I congratulated both of them on them being Confirmed into the Church, and asked why they had not told me, as I would have made it a point to arrange my schedule to be able to attend the Easter Vigil at that parish this year.

It was then that I got the news- neither of them had gone through the process, and had taken it upon themselves, even though they were aware of the Catholic Chruch teaching on this, to receive communion anyway.

I tried, very charitably, to explain to them that they were wrong and they should cease from receiving communion until they are in “full communion” with the Church. Well, the table errupted with laughter, and all those present rolled their eyes at me, told me I was too legalistic, and that Jesus would never turn anyone away. I wanted to cry. :crying:

Feeling that I had done what I could at the time, I let it drop. I did, however, confront both couples again, in private and again tried to explain why what they were doing was wrong and that they should go to the Pastor and discuss this situation, post haste. And again I was met with laughter & mockery.

So, now what? I am praying for all involved, but I am just not too sure if there is anything else I should do.
What would you do if you were in this situation?

Wow. It’s bad enough that your friends ignore and disrespect the Church’s teaching, but then they laugh in your face when you correct them? How unbelievably rude.

That said, I would try to get the Catholic parties alone and explain the Church’s teaching, which they obviously don’t understand. Bring a reference on why non-Catholics aren’t supposed to receive Communion. Explain that it is disrespectful that they ignore what the Church asks, and tell them that it was very hurtful to be laughed at when you asked them the first time.

If they still don’t care, then I would just drop it, because I don’t know what else to do after that. I’m not sure if I would even hang around them that much anymore. I’m not trying to sound nasty, but what you described just sounds so rude and mean spirited.

 

[joanofarc2008]

You should probably see your pastor. If they are involved in playing at Mass then they are involved in public ministry - which is great that they do this with their Catholic spouses but not great that they publicly send the wrong messgae.

 

[Julia_Mae]

You should probably see your pastor. If they are involved in playing at Mass then they are involved in public ministry - which is great that they do this with their Catholic spouses but not great that they publicly send the wrong messgae.

Yes. Tell the Pastor, then let it go. I’m afraid after laughing at something as Sacred as the Eucharist, and as personal as your faith, I’d be finding new friends. Not suggesting it, it’s just me. I just personally would never want to be in their presence again.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Yes. Tell the Pastor, then let it go. I’m afraid after laughing at something as Sacred as the Eucharist, and as personal as your faith, I’d be finding new friends. Not suggesting it, it’s just me. I just personally would never want to be in their presence again.

I have distanced myself from them somewhat. It is all just very sad. As I said, I don’t attend this parish regularly anymore and have no relationship at all with the pastor there, who arrived after I left the parish because of Mass time changes that conflicted with my work schedule.

What bothers me is that these are the very people who encouraged me and helped on my journey back to the faith, never in a million years did I ever expect such drastic changes in attiude from them.

 

[BigFellaMick]

God might have been using them to bring you back to the faith. At one point or another we are all an instrument of God’s will. To think that we always remain as such is a bit [edited]. They were there because they were close to you and God created the opportunity for you, through them, to find Him and get involved in the Church and the faith. Now that you are back you have the only entity you ever “need” in your life and that is the Holy Father. It is an unfortunate thing to lose friends but take comfort in knowing that you didn’t do anything wrong. If they think it is funny to commit a sacrilege when they should know how dangerous that is to ones soul, then more power to them I guess. You can let the Priest know and pray for them and that’s really it. If they won’t listen to you then they will have to answer for it on their day of judgement (lets just pray that from now until then they have the grace to see the error of their ways and make up for it by doing penance).

 

[EasterJoy]

Speak to the pastor about it.

As for these friends, I don’t know that I’d let the subject drop just because they decided to be flippant about it and pretend it is a joke. They are turning the Church away, not wanting to bother themselves with joining it, and yet they are accusing the Church of saying she is turning them away. Nothing could be further from the truth! The Church is asking them to really become a part of her, instead of just pretending.

After all, do they find the sacrament of baptism too legalistic? Marriage? Holy Orders? Do they hear each other’s confessions and give absolution, too? How did they decide where to draw this line for themselves, and how did the decide it was up to them to decide where to draw it?

If not, why not? And if so…then why do they want to publicly witness their full communion with such a legalistic body?