Fraternal Correction Question

[IAmThird2]

So if there was an instance where I made it clear to a friend that I wasn’t a fan of a particular thing that they were doing, via body language and refusing to take part in the conversation, etc. and now later I’ve come to a stronger stance on my obligation to fraternally correct and I have a more direct conversation about why I thought what they did was problematic, is that morally permissible?

I guess what I mean to ask is: did I take too long getting to the fraternal correction directly? Or did I even have an obligation to, beyond the instance itself?

 

[JRKH]

So if there was an instance where I made it clear to a friend that I wasn’t a fan of a particular thing that they were doing, via body language and refusing to take part in the conversation, etc. and now later I’ve come to a stronger stance on my obligation to fraternally correct and I have a more direct conversation about why I thought what they did was problematic, is that morally permissible?

I guess what I mean to ask is: did I take too long getting to the fraternal correction directly? Or did I even have an obligation to, beyond the instance itself?

I can’t answer whether you had a specific obligation since I do not no the particulars. This is best discussed with your confessor/adviser

As for how you approached the matter…(subtly at first then more directly)…I think you did fine.

Peace
James

 

[daisybee]

So if there was an instance where I made it clear to a friend that I wasn’t a fan of a particular thing that they were doing, via body language and refusing to take part in the conversation, etc. and now later I’ve come to a stronger stance on my obligation to fraternally correct and I have a more direct conversation about why I thought what they did was problematic, is that morally permissible?

I guess what I mean to ask is: did I take too long getting to the fraternal correction directly? Or did I even have an obligation to, beyond the instance itself?

Hi,
The information below may be useful to you.

On July 12 I caught part of Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak’s More 2 Life show on Catholic radio, and the topic of discussion was “when to speak and when not to speak” regarding matters of faith, and I think this could extend to fraternal correction.

The person they interviewed (Damon Owens, Theology of the Body Institute Director) made several points that I plan to consider in the future, including:

1. 1 Peter 3:13 - It’s important to always approach/respond with gentleness and reverence.
2. Consider the degree of intimacy you have with the person–this will help you discern how much of an impact you will have, how open the person will be to what you have to say. (In general, the closer we are to the person, the more we can say.)
3. Take the time to understand why the person is saying what s/he is saying. (I’m interpreting this to mean that there would need to be time for some “Why do you say that?” and “What do you mean?” questions.)
4. PAUSE - to avoid an angry or flippant response (back to #1).
5. Frame response in terms of "What can I say that will be for the good of the other person?

The July 12 podcast archive is here if you want to have a listen: avemariaradio.net/showArchive.php?id=hms