W
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Guest
Long story short, I have multiple severe mental health conditions that go on being inadequately treated due to the stigma of having been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Even though I’m high functioning, providers tend to lump my psychiatric disorders’ symptoms in with the BPD and refuse me medication, or even take me off of medication for other conditions, accusing me of lying to get on them. Point in case, I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder at age 16 (I am now 30). I have been on anti-psychotics since the age of fifteen, but multiple outpatient and (name removed by moderator)atient providers have accused me of making it up due to the stigma of BPD. I have also suffered tons of traumatic abuse for having it, as, if my psych symptoms destabilize, they blame my “personality”. I find myself screaming and crying sometimes, scared for my future. I have severe psychotic depression, Schizoaffective Disorder, ADHD, severe PTSD and social phobia, OCD, BPD, and I was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a teen as well. Nobody does enough to help me because they’re all fixated on the BPD. I am on intense meds, maxed out on an MAOI, maxed out on Zyprexa, maxed out on Methylfolate, maxed out on Namenda, and I’m still not in remission and no one seems to care. I’ve been complaining of the same depressive symptoms and anxiety for months to my current provider and she insists I’m stable and just need therapy, which I would have to ride the bus and rapid across town alone to get to, despite my PTSD making going out alone painful.
I need prayers for a better provider who won’t ignore my needs and will do everything in their power to fix my psychiatic issues, prayers for the right meds, for protection from misdiagnosis and abuse, for someone who will see clearly that my BPD is NOT my worst issue. Problem is, when you have BPD and change providers, they take it as a symptom of you having it and just being a difficult patient. I run the risk of getting attacked for changing providers but I’ve been severely Depressed and anxious for eight long years, seeking second opinion after second opinion just trying to get adequate treatment and never receiving it. They try to pin all these second opinions on me and my personality disorder but I was bad enough for the first five years to not only be on an MAOI, but technically fail one. No one helped me well enough or listened. I was just trying to help myself.
I need prayers for a better provider who won’t ignore my needs and will do everything in their power to fix my psychiatic issues, prayers for the right meds, for protection from misdiagnosis and abuse, for someone who will see clearly that my BPD is NOT my worst issue. Problem is, when you have BPD and change providers, they take it as a symptom of you having it and just being a difficult patient. I run the risk of getting attacked for changing providers but I’ve been severely Depressed and anxious for eight long years, seeking second opinion after second opinion just trying to get adequate treatment and never receiving it. They try to pin all these second opinions on me and my personality disorder but I was bad enough for the first five years to not only be on an MAOI, but technically fail one. No one helped me well enough or listened. I was just trying to help myself.
