Friend cant get over some things- lost his faith?But still hanging in there, searching!

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A dear friend of mine lost his faith. He has suffered from verbal abuse for 25 yrs from his spouse all the while praying for her to stop. He feels that God has not answered his prayer. Furthermore, he cant get over the fact that God lets children suffer. He brought up the example of a kidnapped child being raped and abused repeatedly and God doing nothing about it. How come God lets children suffer? How come God has not answered his prayer regarding his wife and her verbal abuse of him?
 
Suffering is a great mystery of the human condition. If we believe God came incarnate, Jesus Christ led the way, because although he was perfectly innocent of original or actual sin, he willed to accept the consequences of those sins, including torture at the hands of his own creatures, and death on a cross. Thus, although we cannot understand what value there may be to suffering, we can have confidence in faith that Jesus would not have first shown the way if there was not glory to be had on the other side, just as he was raised from the dead in glory after it all. We may never know in this life “why” God did not “answer” this or that prayer as we pled it. But we do not believe this life is the final word. Thus, we look to Christ embracing the cross, or other figures like the pain of childbirth followed by the joy of the child, or the pain of surgery followed by the joy of health, etc… These signs may not specifically answer to us in this life the mechanics of suffering’s value, but in Christ, they prompt us to believe God will be faithful and restore us in joy in the eternal life that obliterates the temporality of this one. Easier said than done to have faith in this way, I know, but perhaps it helps.
 
Prayers for your friend…and God bless you for your love and fellowship.

He needs to read this Apostolic Letter of Blessed Pope John Paul II…I have few excerpts to get a taste of how profound this Letter is…JP-II’s whole Pontificate has been called a Theology of Person-hood…no one knows the human predicament of suffering and evil more than this Suffering Servant of Christ (may he R.I.P. …in Love and Joy).

Pax Christi
APOSTOLIC LETTER
SALVIFICI DOLORIS

OF THE SUPREME PONTIFF
JOHN PAUL II
TO THE BISHOPS, TO THE PRIESTS,
TO THE RELIGIOUS FAMILIES
AND TO THE FAITHFUL
OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
ON THE CHRISTIAN MEANING
OF HUMAN SUFFERING
  1. Declaring the power of salvific suffering, the Apostle Paul says: “In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the Church”(1).
III
THE QUEST FOR AN ANSWER
TO THE QUESTION OF THE MEANING
OF SUFFERING
  1. Within each form of suffering endured by man, and at the same time at the basis of the whole world of suffering, there inevitably arises the question: why? It is a question about the cause, the reason, and equally, about the purpose of suffering, and, in brief, a question about its meaning. Not only does it accompany human suffering, but it seems even to determine its human content, what makes suffering precisely human suffering.
  1. Within each form of suffering endured by man, and at the same time at the basis of the whole world of suffering, there inevitably arises the question: why? It is a question about the cause, the reason, and equally, about the purpose of suffering, and, in brief, a question about its meaning. Not only does it accompany human suffering, but it seems even to determine its human content, what makes suffering precisely human suffering.
It is obvious that pain, especially physical pain, is widespread in the animal world. But only the suffering human being knows that he is suffering and wonders** why**; and he suffers in a humanly speaking still deeper way if he does not find a satisfactory answer. This is a difficult question, just as is a question closely akin to it, the question of evil. Why does evil exist? Why is there evil in the world? When we put the question in this way, we are always, at least to a certain extent, asking a question about suffering too.
Both questions are difficult, when an individual puts them to another individual, when people put them to other people, as also when man puts them to God. For man does not put this question to the world, even though it is from the world that suffering often comes to him, but he puts it to God as the Creator and Lord of the world. And it is **well known that concerning this question there not only arise many frustrations and conflicts in the relations of man with God, but it also happens that people reach the point of actually denying God. **For, whereas the existence of the world opens as it were the eyes of the human soul to the existence of God, to his wisdom, power and greatness, evil and suffering seem to obscure this image, sometimes in a radical way, especially in the daily drama of so many cases of undeserved suffering and of so many faults without proper punishment. So this circumstance shows—perhaps more than any other—the importance of the question of the meaning of suffering; it also shows how much care must be taken both in dealing with the question itself and with all possible answers to it.
  1. Man can put this question to God with all the emotion of his heart and with his mind full of dismay and anxiety; and God expects the question and listens to it, as we see in the Revelation of the Old Testament. In the Book of Job the question has found its most vivid expression.
  1. The Book of Job poses in an extremely acute way the question of the “why” of suffering; it also shows that suffering strikes the innocent, but it does not yet give the solution to the problem
**JESUS CHRIST
SUFFERING CONQUERED BY
LOVE
**
  1. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life”(27). These words, spoken by Christ in his conversation with Nicodemus, introduce us into the very heart of God’s salvific work. They also express the very essence of Christian soteriology, that is, of the theology of salvation. Salvation means liberation from evil, and for this reason it is closely bound up with the problem of suffering. According to the words spoken to Nicodemus, God gives his Son to “the world” to free man from evil, which bears within itself the definitive and absolute perspective on suffering. At the same time, the very word “gives” (“gave”) indicates that this liberation must be achieved by the only-begotten Son through his own suffering. And in this, love is manifested, the infinite love both of that only-begotten Son and of the Father who for this reason “gives” his Son. This is love for man, love for the “world”: it is salvific love.
vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/1984/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_11021984_salvifici-doloris_en.html
 
A dear friend of mine lost his faith. He has suffered from verbal abuse for 25 yrs from his spouse all the while praying for her to stop. He feels that God has not answered his prayer. Furthermore, he cant get over the fact that God lets children suffer. He brought up the example of a kidnapped child being raped and abused repeatedly and God doing nothing about it. How come God lets children suffer? How come God has not answered his prayer regarding his wife and her verbal abuse of him?
God very likely encouraged his wife to be nicer, sent her promptings…But SHE still has free will! God does not FORCE people to be good, kind, or Holy. She used her free will to be sinful. That is HER fault not God’s. God is always ready & willing to assist those who ask.

Evil things happen in the world because there is a lack of God in our society. Your friend should reject, and hate satan who is the author of death, disease, and destruction.

Your friend can “punish” God by rejecting Him for not running the universe the way your friend demands! Which is silly, because God is soooo much wiser than your friend. Your friend will only be hurting himself, because he will suffer much worse with out God in his life.

My question is…Did your friend reject God, who is all good, and keep the wife who is bad?
 
The age-old question is why does God allow suffering?

The Catholic Church has the answer, and it’s this: God allows suffering in order to bring about a greater good from it.

Now, we may not see what that good is in this life. But we will, at least, in the next life.

It’s that simple.
 
A dear friend of mine lost his faith. He has suffered from verbal abuse for 25 yrs from his spouse all the while praying for her to stop. He feels that God has not answered his prayer. Furthermore, he cant get over the fact that God lets children suffer. He brought up the example of a kidnapped child being raped and abused repeatedly and God doing nothing about it. How come God lets children suffer? How come God has not answered his prayer regarding his wife and her verbal abuse of him?
This is called the problem of evil - infidels.org/library/modern/nontheism/atheism/evil.html / rationalwiki.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil / en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil / iep.utm.edu/evil-log/

I’ve also tried to write an easy to understand summary here that you might be interested in (have to scroll a bit).

Ignoring the question of why people suffer or saying there must be a reason…but we just can’t know it, are both uncomforting and philosophically empty.
Now, we may not see what that good is in this life. But we will, at least, in the next life.
If you mean going to heaven fixes it, i think this is a big mistake. If it is the view you’re taking here, you’re confusing remedy or reward with justification. If i stab you but then take you out to a restaurant, does it make stabbing you justified?

If God allows us to suffer so horribly but sends us to heaven, thats not a justification for allowing us to suffer.
 
Did God tell his wife to make his life miserable? If not then why blame God. Why not blame his wife. That’s where the blame belongs.

Secondly why didn’t he do something about it to make it stop? Did he try to reason with his wife? If that failed, then did he go to a counselor to see if there were other options? If we suffer, it is because we don’t do anything because we are too ???

God didn’t make things this way, we did. So the proper thing to do is look to ourselves and try to apply a little responsibility there.

When he prayed to God, did he tell him what he wanted and didn’t listen to what God had to say? Difficult effort is required in difficult times. If we don’t do those difficult things to make it right again, is God to come down and do what? Tell us over and over, again and again? Think that would help? He can only tell us how to behave, we don’t have to listen to him.

Since Jesus, the son of God, died for us, I really don’t think he is out to make his life miserable. Pin the tail on the real donkey, himself.

If he’s thinking God didn’t answer his prayer, maybe he didn’t, because it wasn’t a prayer, it was a demand. It takes humility to say a prayer.

Sounds to me like he’s running a great big pitty party.
 
This is called the problem of evil - infidels.org/library/modern/nontheism/atheism/evil.html / rationalwiki.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil / en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil / iep.utm.edu/evil-log/

I’ve also tried to write an easy to understand summary here that you might be interested in (have to scroll a bit).

Ignoring the question of why people suffer or saying there must be a reason…but we just can’t know it, are both uncomforting and philosophically empty.

If you mean going to heaven fixes it, i think this is a big mistake. If it is the view you’re taking here, you’re confusing remedy or reward with justification. If i stab you but then take you out to a restaurant, does it make stabbing you justified?

If God allows us to suffer so horribly but sends us to heaven, thats not a justification for allowing us to suffer.
Not true. Have you ever gone to the dentist and suffered when he stuck the needle in your gums to numb you? I have…recently! I had an abssessed tooth and it hurt horribly! When he stuck the needle in, I almost screamed in pain. But it was all necessary to get me back to good health and prevent long-term pain!

We cannot fully understand why God does what He does every time. We are closer in intellect to an amoeba than we are to God. God is not one being among many. He’s far more than that.
 
If you mean going to heaven fixes it, i think this is a big mistake. If it is the view you’re taking here, you’re confusing remedy or reward with justification. If i stab you but then take you out to a restaurant, does it make stabbing you justified?

If God allows us to suffer so horribly but sends us to heaven, that’s not a justification for allowing us to suffer.
How do you know this to be an objective universal moral truth? Its Quite hilarious how non-believers feel morally justified and yet reject the fundamental nature of moral truth which is God.

In other words, in so far as what one ought to do, your statement is either a rational presentation of object facts about moral truth or it is not. If it is not, then you cannot possibly know that you cannot morally justify stabbing someone by offering them something good after; you are just talking about that which happens to be your pragmatic taste, which does not tell us anything about what is morally true or what God ought to do in any given circumstance or context. If you are in fact morally correct, in that your statement represent a universal objective standard of moral truth, then that can only be the case if that objective standard is an absolutely perfect moral being by which our actions are morally measured. In which case you cannot use the moral evil argument as an argument against God’s existence. The argument itself can only be a demonstration of our ignorance in reference to why God does not act when suffering occurs.
 
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