W
waanju
Guest
Sorry, the long first paragraph is an introduction of sorts, to give context.
So I have a dear friend who has just started RCIA. She was raised without a religion really. Though she would have called herself “Christian” if asked, she was rather more agnostic. She saw my rosary a few years ago and old me that she had been given her grandmother’s after the funeral (the only Mass she’d ever been to) and would I show her how to use it? Delighted, I did, and talked a little bit about why it’s important. A few months later, she was going to go to her new boyfriend’s (Catholic as well and a friend of my family’s) house for dinner. She asked me to teach her the before meals prayer (which she had seen him say with us at my house) so she would know what to do. I wrote it down for her. After a few weeks passed, she asked to go to Mass with me. She’d gone with me once before when I’d asked her, but hadn’t shown any interest since. She began going with my family every week, for about three months (her boyfriend and her broke up after a month, which sort of dispelled my worry that she was going to impress him). She expressed a desire to take communion, and when I told her that in order to do that, she would have to be a member of the church, she said she’d been thinking about it and she wanted to be Catholic. She began asking me some questions, signed up for RCIA, and, even though I think her initial reasons were a little off (wanting to feel close to grandma, impressing a boyfriend’s parents, and not being the only one over age 8 to not receive) I think she’s being drawn to the church by the Holy Spirit.
Recently, though, I’ve started to worry. She disagrees with the church on a lot of things. She’s VERY pro-gay marriage, was pretty active in the Gay-Straight Alliance in highschool, cheered on gay marriage legalization, wants to go to a “pride parade” ect. She also doesn’t see the problem with birth control. She recently started taking the Pill (even though she’s not sexually active!) and when I asked her why (expecting acne ect to be the answer) she said so that when she found someone that she wanted to have sex with, she could. So basically, she disagrees with the church on gay marriage, contraception, and pre-marital sex. I think most of this was caused because she is rather easily influenced (quite a bit actually, especially by novels/movies), and she’s spent her whole life (or at least the two years we spent together in high school) being taught that gay-marriage is “tolerance” and “diversity” and that pre-marital sex is “healthy” and “okay” as long as you’re being “responsible” and “safe” by using contraception. At least she sees that abortion is wrong!
My main question is this: what should I do? Should I confront her directly and risk turning her away? Should I wait to see if her RCIA class covers this? Should I bring it to the attention of her catechist, so that she will know to include these teachings? Should I tell my mother (who I’m not 100% sure fully supports the Church stance on gay marriage… and MAYBE not on contraception) who is my friend’s sponsor?
I really regret not teaching her these things before when they initially came up, but I was so excited that she was showing interest in the church that I didn’t want to “scare her away” with hard stuff so early.
So I have a dear friend who has just started RCIA. She was raised without a religion really. Though she would have called herself “Christian” if asked, she was rather more agnostic. She saw my rosary a few years ago and old me that she had been given her grandmother’s after the funeral (the only Mass she’d ever been to) and would I show her how to use it? Delighted, I did, and talked a little bit about why it’s important. A few months later, she was going to go to her new boyfriend’s (Catholic as well and a friend of my family’s) house for dinner. She asked me to teach her the before meals prayer (which she had seen him say with us at my house) so she would know what to do. I wrote it down for her. After a few weeks passed, she asked to go to Mass with me. She’d gone with me once before when I’d asked her, but hadn’t shown any interest since. She began going with my family every week, for about three months (her boyfriend and her broke up after a month, which sort of dispelled my worry that she was going to impress him). She expressed a desire to take communion, and when I told her that in order to do that, she would have to be a member of the church, she said she’d been thinking about it and she wanted to be Catholic. She began asking me some questions, signed up for RCIA, and, even though I think her initial reasons were a little off (wanting to feel close to grandma, impressing a boyfriend’s parents, and not being the only one over age 8 to not receive) I think she’s being drawn to the church by the Holy Spirit.
Recently, though, I’ve started to worry. She disagrees with the church on a lot of things. She’s VERY pro-gay marriage, was pretty active in the Gay-Straight Alliance in highschool, cheered on gay marriage legalization, wants to go to a “pride parade” ect. She also doesn’t see the problem with birth control. She recently started taking the Pill (even though she’s not sexually active!) and when I asked her why (expecting acne ect to be the answer) she said so that when she found someone that she wanted to have sex with, she could. So basically, she disagrees with the church on gay marriage, contraception, and pre-marital sex. I think most of this was caused because she is rather easily influenced (quite a bit actually, especially by novels/movies), and she’s spent her whole life (or at least the two years we spent together in high school) being taught that gay-marriage is “tolerance” and “diversity” and that pre-marital sex is “healthy” and “okay” as long as you’re being “responsible” and “safe” by using contraception. At least she sees that abortion is wrong!
My main question is this: what should I do? Should I confront her directly and risk turning her away? Should I wait to see if her RCIA class covers this? Should I bring it to the attention of her catechist, so that she will know to include these teachings? Should I tell my mother (who I’m not 100% sure fully supports the Church stance on gay marriage… and MAYBE not on contraception) who is my friend’s sponsor?
I really regret not teaching her these things before when they initially came up, but I was so excited that she was showing interest in the church that I didn’t want to “scare her away” with hard stuff so early.
