Friend entering the Church, but disagrees with its teachings

[3DOCTORS]

:twocents: Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to have on hand some really good user-friendly materials on the Church’s teachings regarding those issues of concern. What I’d suggest is get something like Christopher West’s The Good News About Sex and Marriage, or something by Jason Evert. If your friend seems to do better with video, get something in that format instead of a book. Read or watch the material yourself, too, to familiarize with it in case she asks questions, and then pray for the right moment and just casually say, hey, maybe you might want to take a look at this . . .

God bless you for wanting to help your friend come into the Church!

 

[waanju]

I have never sat in on an RCIA program, but are these issues dealt with sufficiently in these meetings to answer her questions?

I guess that’s sort of what I was asking people. I’ve never been in RCIA myself, since I’m a cradle Catholic. My dad was about 8 years ago, but he entered AFTER he’d already researched the Church a lot. Do they cover all these topics in RCIA or do they stick to theological topics? I feel like there’s so much to cover in only a couple months!

 

[Cristiano]

I guess that’s sort of what I was asking people. I’ve never been in RCIA myself, since I’m a cradle Catholic. My dad was about 8 years ago, but he entered AFTER he’d already researched the Church a lot. Do they cover all these topics in RCIA or do they stick to theological topics? I feel like there’s so much to cover in only a couple months!

You have a moral obligation to evangelize her and to educate her, that was made it quite clear when you were confirmed. You have to instruct the ignorant and to counsel the doubtful, these are mandatory spiritual works of mercy that target everybody and not just Catholics.

Now that you know what you have to do, you must think on how to do it. You must do that while using the virtues and those include charity and prudence. My suggestion is that every time that she brings up a belief that goes against the teachings of the Church you have to ask her why she believes that and then you can guide her toward what is the the truth. However, you also have a moral obligation of informing yourself to help her in a productive manner and not to push her away from the Church. Please remember that truth without charity is pretty useless, you are not there to win an argument, you are there to help with her conversion.

 

[Actaeon]

Eventually, if she becomes Catholic, she will need to agree to what the Church teaches, so it could be that she will not join, considering her beliefs.

Your friend must either accept the teaching of the Church or stop pretending being a catholic**… SNIP…** if she doesnt share the Church view then she cant identify herself as a catholic.

These statements are NOT correct, although Vico’s statement is CLOSE to correct.

A person does not need to intrinsically AGREE with all church teachings to become Catholic. What they MUST do is assent to all church teachings, insofar as (despite any PERSONAL opinions to the contrary) they comport their behavior and speech to the teachings of the church.

In other words, what is implied therein is that she will NOT continue to be a vocal supporter of “gay-marriage” or the homosexual lifestyle, even though she may privately feel that these things are okay. The important part is that she accepts that she needs to continue to conform her conscience in this regard, and to do so privately. Another area of concern is that she cannot pledge in truth and honesty the reject sin and all its lures while she considers herself to be looking for a premarital sexual partner.

Both of those issues need to be addressed through the RCIA instructor and/or the priest, so that they can deal with it in a scholastic and charitable way.

But we all need to remember that we are ALL on the path to salvation. Not one of us (unless we’re living saints) lives 100% within the teachings of the church all the time. 99% of us probably have some small doubt about some teaching of the church along the way. Let her walk her spiritual path, and do not hinder this child from coming to Christ if that is her informed choice.

 

[SecretGarden]

I agree with everyone, in this case you should butt out. If you have some concerns about the way the RCIA is being taught, since Christmas is only a month away, you can always pick up a book on Catholicism that is directed towards those who are interested in the faith. My personal pick would be: “Why do Catholics genuflect” by Al Kresta because it’s simple to understand and it’s written in simple Q and A. Buying a Catholicism for dummies book would be extremely wrong because as educational as it is, considering your friend’s attitudes, it could be taken the wrong way. You can say: you were doing some shopping and found the book and thought it would be interesting since she was doing RCIA. Make it a Christmas gift therefore she won’t think too much into it. The book is only 10 to 15 dollars on amazon.

 

[Lifesong]

I came into the Church last year after years as a Methodist- it actually took the whole RCIA period for me to accept all the teachings (Mary, Purgatory, etc) though I knew that the Church was the truth and that was good enough for me so I perservered. I am now on our RCIA team as my Legion of Mary work (yep, the gal that wasn’t so sure about Mary, gotta love the Holy Spirit) and one thing I am learning is that each of us has our path into the Church and what may have been hard for one person is not the same stumbling block issue for another but I can guarantee you it will be something else. One thing I would recommend is time spent in front of the Blessed Sacrament for your catechumen friend because for me personally asking the questions of the Lord and spending time to let it all get into my heart really helped, also the Rosary because even when I was not so sure of her, Mary was coaching me all the way last year. My issues were not the same as your young friend but are typical of my kids’ generation- the fact that in this secular world she is searching is a work of the Holy Spirit and from glory to glory I pray she gets there.

Val