Friend passing away

[rivera01]

A friend of mine recently passed away on Monday after struggling with a cancer that started in the stomach and went to the brain in a matter of 5 months. I went to the wake on Friday, and was really surprised to see in what condition he was. He was only 44 years old and looked like a 70 year old man. The last time I saw him was in May and that was because he was 3 hours away from where I live. I knew him at work for 7 years and were really good friends.

When I found out he had passed away, I wasn’t sad, or even till today, I haven’t shed a tear. On the contrary I feel happy that he is not suffering anymore. I know that he is in a better place and doesnt have to go through the struggles and hardships of this world anylonger. I just feel kind of wierd that, while everyone was crying for him, I just didn’t feel the grief that people felt.

Has anyone else have gone through something like this?

 

[lutherlic]

A friend of mine recently passed away on Monday after struggling with a cancer that started in the stomach and went to the brain in a matter of 5 months. I went to the wake on Friday, and was really surprised to see in what condition he was. He was only 44 years old and looked like a 70 year old man. The last time I saw him was in May and that was because he was 3 hours away from where I live. I knew him at work for 7 years and were really good friends.

When I found out he had passed away, I wasn’t sad, or even till today, I haven’t shed a tear. On the contrary I feel happy that he is not suffering anymore. I know that he is in a better place and doesnt have to go through the struggles and hardships of this world anylonger. I just feel kind of wierd that, while everyone was crying for him, I just didn’t feel the grief that people felt.

Has anyone else have gone through something like this?

I am sorry for your loss and think that your faith gives you a different perspective. Your friend’s immortal soul lives on, only his journey on earth has concluded - as it will one day for us all. Pray for the repose of his soul.

On the other hand, it is understandable why some would be crying - particularly those who were very close to him. They lost a loved one so much earlier than expected and will deeply miss him. It takes time to accept that, although one is never “over it”.

 

[Trishie]

We miss my Dad of course, but we were delighted Dad no longer need suffer.
I think many of us feel that way when loved ones and friends die in great grace but also are free of the suffering. I have a wonderful photo on my desk here of my Dad with his warm smile and twinkling eyes, and knowing that until his last conscious moment he was being kind to others, and was peaceful though struggling, it only reassures me and touches me again with his spirit to see that lovely face of a man who grew finer every year. It is our honest family belief he was genuinely a saint, so while we can no longer hear that voice with the humorous lilt, and I can no longer have those wonderful discussions with the dear man, I’m happy he is where he is. As he was dying one sister burst into tears, but Dad gently said to her with that priceless affectionate smile, “I’m happy you know, C”. The priest came out of his hospital room murmuring, “Joy, joy… he’s so full of joy.” We’ve lost his physical presence, but how can you lose a man like him. Even when he was well, which was up to six months before he died though he kept contributing to the welfare of others for long after he became ill, I thought, “He has achieved so much in his personal, professional, and Christian life; and God seems to have done everything with this dear man that He could possibly do, the best man he could possibly be,” so even when he seemed well I couldn’t imagine God had many more finishing touches to put upon my Dad. But yes, there was one thing more, having his graciousness, his patience put under the test as his thin body endured severe prolonged pain, (he never complained and remained good-humored and considerate of eveyone,) the test also of learning to be dependent upon others’ help, this strong capable man; and dying with such grace. As my eldest brother said wonderingly, “He showed me how to live. Now he is showing me how to die.” Us all. You feel grateful and blessed, and you are happy for such a man when he dies. Anyway, yesterday he was in heaven present with my Mum for the heavenly celebration of our relative’s canonization, so that must be quite a wonderful joy for our family in heaven.

 

[aicirt]

Hope, as the previous poster noted, my faith has given me a different perspective of death.

I’ve questioned myself why I haven’t cried. I know I’m capable of crying but I haven’t done it when someone dies.

 

[rivera01]

Yes, I believe that it is my faith that has changed the way I look at things. It is completely understandable that those closer to him would be in grief, and I totally get that. What I thought was stupid is how there were men present at the funeral who were holding back their emotions, even though you can clearly see that they wanted to cry. Even one of my friends told me that he doesnt like going to funeral because he doesnt like to cry and I told him, well just let it out, and he said no because he would feel less of a man. Since when does crying make you less of a man? Christ cried, He who is True Man and True God, cried, why cant we cry? I didn’t cry because I just didn’t feel the grief.

 

[baltobetsy]

No matter how wonderful a person the deceased was, please do pray for his or her soul. Even if they have gone straight to heaven, the prayers will not be wasted, and if they do need our assistance in Purgatory, it would be a shame to omit praying for them.

Betsy

 

[Trishie]

Be sure that we do

 

[rivera01]

No matter how wonderful a person the deceased was, please do pray for his or her soul. Even if they have gone straight to heaven, the prayers will not be wasted, and if they do need our assistance in Purgatory, it would be a shame to omit praying for them.

Betsy

Thats the first thing I did when I found out he passed away.