Friend says, “Marriage is your ticket to celibacy”

[JamesG]

I have a friend that recently told me not to get married to a modern woman. He said you will get nothing from her sexually.
He told me only to marry an Italian / traditional girl because she will at least continue to show affection for you. She will even cook you something. He said that women today are tainted by feminism and you have to watchout for that.

After he told me how she is treating him I tried to consider how I would react. My first gut reaction would be to buy another bed and sleep in it alone. There wouldn’t be much difference because I would feel alone anyway even while I slept beside her.

I tried to tell him that he doesn’t deserve it. But I didn’t want to kick a man while he was down by saying anything more.

I’m afraid he is going to just leave his wife or do something worse.
I joked with him and told him just to get her drunk.

I’m not sure what to say to him. He doesn’t have any kids either.

I guess I just don’t understand why a woman would not want to make her man happy. Maybe she is far to selfish.

Is it true that women really become that selfish after they get married? What is the point of getting married to a modern woman if she is incapable of showing affection toward you?

 

[vluvski]

Poor guy!

They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. As a woman, though unmarried, I think the best way to a woman’s bed is with hard work. Work at doing her chores, giving her a back rub… totally spoiling her, basically. It isn’t as if they’re making a deal “I’ll have sex if you will do X, Y and Z” but more that if she feels he is looking out for her instead of lusting after her she’ll probably be more in the mood.

However, I do think that too many of these so-called modern women contribute greatly to the problem. I agree, don’t marry a “modern” woman.

 

[Myangel]

JamesG:

He told me only to marry an Italian / traditional girl because she will at least continue to show affection for you. She will even cook you something. He said that women today are tainted by feminism and you have to watchout for that.

DONT KID YOURSELF! I am an Italian/traditional kind of gal, and let me tell you, we are a dying breed. Affection comes from a person’s heart, not their background!

 

[JamesG]

vluvski:

Poor guy!

They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. As a woman, though unmarried, I think the best way to a woman’s bed is with hard work. Work at doing her chores, giving her a back rub… totally spoiling her, basically. It isn’t as if they’re making a deal “I’ll have sex if you will do X, Y and Z” but more that if she feels he is looking out for her instead of lusting after her she’ll probably be more in the mood.

However, I do think that too many of these so-called modern women contribute greatly to the problem. I agree, don’t marry a “modern” woman.

Well he is so down it isn’t funny. He has tried all of that stuff that you suggested. He even picks up after her. When he stoped picking up after her she left a steak bone of the counter for the entire week!

This guy made the mistake of treating his girl like a princess.

Basically this girl is in his own words, “Good for nothing”

 

[deb1]

Depending on your definition of a modern woman, I am a modern woman. I have remained home with my children for 18 years but this summer I hope to start work on finishing my degree. That was always my goal, once the children were old enough, I go to school and hopefully either work or volunteer. So, I must believe a little in some of the aspects of feminism or else I would not have planned to continue eventually with my education but I certainly enjoy having sex with my hubby. My libido, in fact, is a tad higher then his.

There could be a variety of issues as to why this particular wife does not want sex. She could have hormonal issues, medical issues, depression or problems with her marriage. This might have nothing to do with her views on male/female relationships. Even women who have more traditional views on marriage can have these problems.

As far as your friend’s advice, you really shouldn’t take advice from people who aren’t happy with their marriages. It will give you a skewered view of matrimony and women in general. I know that whenever I am around females who are miserable in their relationships I become more negative toward my hubby so I try and make friends with happy couples. I avoid women and men who do not talk respectfully of their spouses.

 

[JamesG]

DONT KID YOURSELF! I am an Italian/traditional kind of gal, and let me tell you, we are a dying breed. Affection comes from a person’s heart, not their background!

ok… move to canada and I’ll let you bake me some cookies. You gals are a prize

I think that many women (at least the ones around here) are told not to show a man affection because they don’t want to be like their mothers. They don’t ever want to do anything that could possibley make them feel like a slave.

So from that perspective it is very important to find a woman that is unaffected by this destructive doctrine. In most cases italian/traditional women are not subject to this.

 

[deb1]

JamesG:

Well he is so down it isn’t funny. He has tried all of that stuff that you suggested. He even picks up after her. When he stoped picking up after her she left a steak bone of the counter for the entire week!

This guy made the mistake of treating his girl like a princess.

Basically this girl is in his own words, “Good for nothing”

This is very sad but has nothing to do with him treating her like a princess. Men and women should treat their spouses wonderfully.

Has he tried therapy with her?

 

[deb1]

JamesG:

ok… move to canada and I’ll let you bake me some cookies.

I think that many women (at least the ones around here) are told not to show a man affection because they don’t want to be like their mothers. They don’t ever want to do anything that could possibley make them feel like a slave.

So from that perspective it is very important to find a woman that is unaffected by this destructive doctrine. In most cases italian/traditional women are not subject to this.

You are the second man that I have heard complain about women from Canada.

The problem with finding a woman from another country is that once you bring her to your country then she will be infected by the same propaganda.

 

[JamesG]

deb1:

This is very sad but has nothing to do with him treating her like a princess. Men and women should treat their spouses wonderfully.

Has he tried therapy with her?

Not sure about that. perhaps I could suggest it.

 

[JamesG]

You are the second man that I have heard complain about women from Canada.

The problem with finding a woman from another country is that once you bring her to your country then she will be infected by the same propaganda.

oh it is well known that the women from canada are the coldest women on the planet

pray for me lol

 

[dulcissima]

Hmmmm. You sound vaguely familiar, an awful lot like a poster who just completely vanished a few weeks ago.

 

[Myangel]

:The problem with finding a woman from another country is that once you bring her to your country then she will be infected by the same propaganda.

Have seen this happen many times before. I would never leave my country, if he thinks the women are bad in Canada, pay a visit to Australia we have some pretty HARD women over here. Beautiful, intelligent but at the same time some are COLD!

My sisters married Italian men who came from a household where their mothers did everything for them. I truly believe if you go into a marriage expecting too much, then your in for a disappointment. My older sister is traditional at times but more modern, her husband has no problem doing the womanly things around the house, but she has no problem doing the hard work outdoors. Actually I think they love the role reversal.

 

[JamesG]

Have seen this happen many times before. I would never leave my country, if he thinks the women are bad in Canada, pay a visit to Australia we have some pretty HARD women over here. Beautiful, intelligent but at the same time some are COLD!

My sisters married Italian men who came from a household where their mothers did everything for them. I truly believe if you go into a marriage expecting too much, then your in for a disappointment. My older sister is traditional at times but more modern, her husband has no problem doing the womanly things around the house, but she has no problem doing the hard work outdoors. Actually I think they love the role reversal.

Well I think the main point that he is trying to make is that women often completely change after they get married. In fact I know that is how he feels right now.

This causes concern for me because I am very serious about marriage. I have to come up with a way to detect these kinds of issues before I give a ring to my woman.

My father told me recently that sometimes marriages occur for the wrong reasons. Selfness, family pressure, fantacy, and deceit are sometimes the prime motivations for marriage. The problem is that priests have no way to detect these things. Sure they put married people on a marriage course but it is quite pathetic. There is no evaluation of the couple’s legitimacy.

 

[Myangel]

JamesG:

Well I think the main point that he is trying to make is that women often completely change after they get married. In fact I know that is how he feels right now.

This causes concern for me because I am very serious about marriage. I have to come up with a way to detect these kinds of issues before I give a ring to my woman.

My father told me recently that sometimes marriages occur for the wrong reasons. Selfness, family pressure, fantacy, and deceit are sometimes the prime motivations for marriage. The problem is that priests have no way to detect these things. Sure they put married people on a marriage course but it is quite pathetic. There is no evaluation of the couple’s legitimacy.

AH BOY we are 2 peas in a pod! You have a friend (who is unhappy in his marriage) giving you advice about marriage, and I have friends who are perfectly happy in their marriage giving me advice, and we have the same outcome FEAR of making the wrong choice. Yeah sure we all change when we get married, but that comes with the territory, surely. Its all about compromise. Marriages dont always occur for the wrong reasons, have you not got any friends around you who are happily married?

 

[deb1]

JamesG:

Well I think the main point that he is trying to make is that women often completely change after they get married. In fact I know that is how he feels right now.

This causes concern for me because I am very serious about marriage. I have to come up with a way to detect these kinds of issues before I give a ring to my woman.

My father told me recently that sometimes marriages occur for the wrong reasons. Selfness, family pressure, fantacy, and deceit are sometimes the prime motivations for marriage. The problem is that priests have no way to detect these things. Sure they put married people on a marriage course but it is quite pathetic. There is no evaluation of the couple’s legitimacy.

This might sound like an overly simplified solution but have you tried prayer? Spend a lot of time asking God to show you the right woman for you. I know that sounds too easy but God does answer prayers.

 

[deb1]

JamesG:

Well I think the main point that he is trying to make is that women often completely change after they get married. In fact I know that is how he feels right now.

.

This is true of both genders. I have had female friends complain that their spouses changed once they were married. I think that the key is to spend a lot of time with the person in a variety of situations. How do they act when they are frustrated or angry? Does she talk nasty behind her friends backs? One day she will be frustrated or angry with you and will respond to you in the same manner. How do their parents treat one another? This is how she is being taught that couples should act like.

 

[Myangel]

deb1:

This is true of both genders. I have had female friends complain that their spouses changed once they were married. I think that the key is to spend a lot of time with the person in a variety of situations. How do they act when they are frustrated or angry? Does she talk nasty behind her friends backs? One day she will be frustrated or angry with you and will respond to you in the same manner. How do their parents treat one another? This is how she is being taught that couples should act like.

:clapping: I always tend to shy away from friends/men who tend to act in a manner I dont like. Especially when they talk nasty behind their friends back, I can only imagine it wouldnt be too long before the talk was about me.

 

[Hitetlen]

Just a joke I heard today:

A guy goes to a famous wizard and asks for help. He is in a really bad shape, just a shadow of his former self. He tells the wizard: “I have been cursed. My life is miserable, I have no quiet moments any more. My health is deteriorating. Please remove this curse from me!”.

The wizard answers: “Of course I will help you my son, but I will have to know the exact words of the curse that has been inflicted upon you.”

“That is easy” - says the guy. He stands tall and erect, and says in a deep, reverberating baritone voice: “Now I pronounce you husband and wife!”

 

[mlchance]

deb1:

This is true of both genders. I have had female friends complain that their spouses changed once they were married.

Everybody changes, married or unmarried. With God’s grace, we change for the better, and there is always room for more improvement.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[JamesG]

deb1:

This might sound like an overly simplified solution but have you tried prayer? Spend a lot of time asking God to show you the right woman for you. I know that sounds too easy but God does answer prayers.

Yes… I have total faith that I will find a traditional woman who is catholic.

It just takes patience that is all.