Friend with Depression and Anger Issues - At my Wits End

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One of my best friends has been battling depression and anger issues for all of her life.

She swings between sweet and pleasant, to angry and hostile. Lately, she has been angry and moody non-stop. She has shut herself and distanced herself from friends, and pushed many of them away.

Her family was emotionally and physically abusive, so they aren’t there for her support.

She also left the Church a long time ago.

While she has some acquaintances in her hometown, I am her only friend left in the entire world, and she has just pushed me away.

She snapped over something so small and insignificant. I said I was “proud of her” when I was trying to cheer her up, and she said it was annoying because I had already said it. She said I constantly repeat things (I admit, I tend to at times) and said it made her feel stupid and started insulting me.

She went into this huge tirade and I told her I was sorry and didn’t want to fight and argue, that I care about her, but she just kept saying that she doesn’t want me in her life anymore.

To make matters worse, I live on the other side of the country. We had a massive falling out last January and she shut me out of her life until contacting me in July to apologize. I had accepted a job in the new town, but I forgave her.

I am worried she is about to slip into a period of her life that she was in years ago before I met her, where she turned to sex and drugs and partying to numb the emotional pain.

I am at my wits end. I pray and pray and pray but I am just feeling so hopeless. I just want her to get it together and find some happiness, to let her know that people care about her.

She has no one in her life praying for her and hasn’t prayed in years. She left the Church about 2 years ago. I keep praying, and I know she is a good person at heart. I’ve seen that she can be a good person.

But I haven’t seen that person in awhile and despite my prayers, I’m feeling like I am about to give up and slip into despair.
 
Praying for your friend

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
I will pray you to be lead by the Holy Spirit in this friendship, may God bless you with the ability to be the kind of friend she needs right now. God give you the strength to persevere.
 
*** Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen
 
Your friend will certainly be in my prayers. I’m sorry you have to deal with the negative aspect of all of this. 😦
 
Thank you for keeping both of us in your prayers. I will keep all of you in mine.
 
I entrust your friend to the care of the Blessed Virgin Mary. May Our holy Mother guide your friend to Jesus and protect her from the Devil. May Mother Mary ease your friend’s suffering and help her to pray. May your friend have a personal encounter with Our Lord and center her life on Him. May she come to know and love Our Lord and be transformed, and live a life of Faith, Hope and Charity. Amen.
 
Praying for you and your friend.

And just to note, try not to let anything she says get to you. Sometimes lonely people can say things to push people away when all they want is to be loved and know that they are cared for. It helps just to spend time with her and to call her on the phone.
 
brokenplates1;9866258 said:
no one in her life praying for her
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and hasn’t prayed in years. She left the Church about 2 years ago. I keep praying, and I know she is a good person at heart. I’ve seen that she can be a good person.

But I haven’t seen that person in awhile and despite my prayers, I’m feeling like I am about to give up and slip into despair.

Boy, I can really relate to this. Let me tell you, one of the things someone once told about depression that really hit home was this: " You cannot love someone out of depression."
It is an insidious thing, depression and all the interrelated emotions like the anger you are talking about.

In truth, there is not that much that you can do, other than tell your friend that you are there for her if she ever wants to talk. Aside from that, your friend should be in therapy and seen by a physician. There are so many other things that can aggrevate depression like thyroid problems, vitiamin deficiencies and nutrition… of course drinking! But only a doctor can advise her on these things.

If she is that angry, it means she has a lot of interior pain. Just remember, that in truth, she is not really angry with you. She is angry with life, with her situation, with her memories, maybe with God and with herself, probably. Just tell her that you love her, that you are there and that if she needs anything she is not alone. Then, if she does call, avail yourself of the resources out there and never, ever, put the burden on you to “heal” her. You can"t. You can only guide. God bless you.
 
She just sent me a text telling me she’s “done wasting (her) time with (me),” that I was the one who overreacted to her hurtful comments and that I was the one who pushed her away.

I keep praying, but it’s difficult to remain hopeful. I know she has no one in her life who prays, so I feel compelled to pray for her. I do love her and care for my friend.

I’ve started a novena to St. Jude and St. Dymphna and will start saying an extra Rosary and Chaplet for her.

But I feel like I’m starting to lose hope.

Does anyone have any experience with depression? Why is it they push away those who care the most about them?
 
Elsa1 said:
Boy, I can really relate to this. Let me tell you, one of the things someone once told about depression that really hit home was this: " You cannot love someone out of depression."
It is an insidious thing, depression and all the interrelated emotions like the anger you are talking about.

In truth, there is not that much that you can do, other than tell your friend that you are there for her if she ever wants to talk. Aside from that, your friend should be in therapy and seen by a physician. There are so many other things that can aggrevate depression like thyroid problems, vitiamin deficiencies and nutrition… of course drinking! But only a doctor can advise her on these things.

If she is that angry, it means she has a lot of interior pain. Just remember, that in truth, she is not really angry with you. She is angry with life, with her situation, with her memories, maybe with God and with herself, probably. Just tell her that you love her, that you are there and that if she needs anything she is not alone. Then, if she does call, avail yourself of the resources out there and never, ever, put the burden on you to “heal” her. You can"t. You can only guide. God bless you.
Click to expand...
Thank you, this really helped.
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
brokenplates1 said:
Thank you, this really helped.
Click to expand...
I’m glad! I will say a special prayer for you tonight

Also, if I may, there is another fabulous organization, base din the UK, that is a wonderful “listening ear”. They are the Samaritans. You can even email them your worries and a “listener” will email you back. It is a lovely thing that is so simple but amaizingly does help to make you feel a lot better! Here is their link, samaritans.org/.

I availed myself of their services following the suicide of someone close to me many years ago. Remember, that when you care for someone who is suffering, they are not the only ones who need a hand! You do to! Love!
 
prayer is necessary but also counseling. Pray for your friend to accept her “disorder” and that it is not her fault. What she needs is psychological help to look at her interior self and make amends or review her mindview. However, some people assume counseling is for the insane, but it is really for one to know him or herself. Alot of people today suffer from psychological issues due to our society. Like one of the posters said, your friend is not directly angry at you. What she needs is to help herself and to love herself, despite of her weaknesses.
 
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