Friend with leukemia to stay with us during recovery

[Sina]

I have a friend who I actually don’t know extremely well because we live in different cities. We have been friends for about 8 years and know each other through similar interests and organizations. He is 27 years old.

He was recently diagnosed with leukemia ( in December ) and has undergone two or three treatments of chemotherapy. He is in remission right now and plans to have a splendid summer to enjoy.

In September, he will be receiving a bone marrow transplant at the hospital in my city because his own city, 3 hours north, does not have that type of facility. He is planning on having a big get together with all his friends before the transplant in case he doesn’t make it, and wants a proper goodbye with everyone. This is also why he wants the transplant after the summer, in case it is his last. Transplants are risky and if his body rejects it, he can die. This is also how many sufferers of leukemia die.

He has a great support group of friends in his own city and he has a brother in my city where he will be for the transplant. He says he doesn’t get along with his brother and doesn’t feel comfortable around him.

Last night he asked me if he could stay with me and my husband for up to two month (our baby will be three months old) after the hospital stay, to recover and go back and forth between our house and the hospital for bloodtests and whatnot. We have a finished basement with a bedroom and bathroom. I said “of course”! He said he wanted to be with people that made him happy and he thought recovering with a family and their baby would be nice. I thought that was so sweet.

Now… I have never been around someone who is sick in such a serious way. I haven’t had my baby yet and I have no idea what to expect. I have prayed and prayed for God to help my friend (who grew up protestant but now he is unhappy with Christianity because he has same sex attractions and feels pushed away). I just really hope this will all have a positive outcome and he will heal and be given a new life, and we can form a strong relationship and he can have a new faith in God.

Anyways… I write this all because I was looking for advice on what to expect from anyone who has gone through anything remotely similar with relatives or friends.

Or even just prayers.

Thanks!

 

[Belle10]

Sina, how kind of you to let your friend stay with you while you will be going through the adjustment of a new baby. You’re very kind.

My Dad has leukemia – I’m sending you a PM.

 

[mmyers]

My father-in-law has cronic leukemia, which is a little different. When he can to visit though we had to plan immunizations with the kids accordingly, because his doctor did not want him around someone who had certain kind of immunizations (Ithink polio). You may want to have him contact his doctor and find out if this is the case with him. You could poosible work out an immunization schedule with your pedi (they have different schedules that they can work out if you let them know in advance) that works out for everyone.

 

[Sina]

Good point. He did mention that it would be hard to visit him in the hopsital because we would have to be completely free of any illnesses and whatnot. It must be similar afterwards in recovery.

My friend has “acute myelogenous leukemia” specifically.

 

[shannyk]

Hi Sina,

How great of you to extend yourself like that to this friend. It must be very comforting for him to know he has somewhere to go during such a difficult time. And considering you will have a 3 month old at the time I think it’s extra brave of you.

I would second the advice about checking with his doctors to see if this is an OK arrangement for him health wise.

I would also be sure to be honest with him about how much noise there might be (crying baby in the middle of the night), and how distracted both you and hubby will be with an infant in the house. The two fo you might not be very available to help him with any of his needs because of the baby, so he might want to see if there is anyone else that can help him. Depending on how his treatment goes he might need a little or a lot of assistance with the day to day things like cooking, bathing, etc. Just something to think about as you will be exhausted yourself (count on it ).

 

[Sina]

Thanks Shanny. You are right that we need to be honest with each other of what to expect. I think he has no idea what to expect with the BMT… and I have no idea what to expect with the newborn… so we will both be unsure! I don’t doubt it will be challenging.

 

[puzzleannie]

it is very kind of you to consider this, what a Christian witness, but make sure you are capable of providing the level of care he will need. also he should check with his doctor because since his immune system will be compromised they may not want him to be around young children.