Friends and Family with values different than your own

[masondoggy]

Its funny you should mention Retrouvaille. My SIL (husband’s sister) suggested the same not two weeks ago. So I looked up the website and made the call. I explained my situation and they (one contacted me via email too) regretfully told me they doubt a marriage like mine can be helped. I’d have to first get permission from a judge, from husband’s Anger Management psychiatrist, and my own therapist, then convince the husband, just to attend. Because there was once a history of physical abuse too (up until about 10 years ago) they do have reason to fear he will do it again, under the situation of having to deal with his problem at Retrouvaille. They worry for my safety & others attending in that situation, therefore the need for professionals to sign their ok to it.

So many people wrongly think this is a *marriage problem *when in reality it is an abuse problem, with 1 person taking out his rage on another.

I wish it were both of us because then at least I know it could be worked on. I can’t fix someone else.

I just want to make sure that you know that the Church does NOT expect you to stay in a “marriage” like this. Do not feel obligated to stay because you think it would be a sin to leave. Most likely, I would bet your marriage is invalid anyway due to his mental issues (if he’s in anger management, he has mental issues). Have you talked to a priest about this? Do you stay because you are afraid of him?

Because at the end of the day, you do not want your kids to be around this. This isn’t “family life” for them. And what about your safety? It sounds like you are not safe from your posts.

Please think hard about this. I mean, if the people from Retrouville don’t have much hope for this situation and think the marriage is unsalvagable, that says a lot right there.

 

[dafalax]

I went for a while with very few friends because my standards were Catholic. Now I have numerous faithful Catholic friends. Where my secular friends are not edifying to my faith, Catholic friends are. The truth is that you need to make friends with people in your life that stick to the highest moral standards of Catholicism because there are more than enough secular people in the world to make friends with. Faithful Catholics do need to stick together, not neccessarily in total isolation, but we should discriminate in favor of faithful Catholics. I believe there needs to be a restoration of Catholic culture and this is only possible if we band together. We need to preserve the us and them mentality because thats the way it is. There is us who try to be faithful Catholics in a highly secular and anti-catholic world and them who either knowingly or not are against Christ. The main difference between us and them is that when we sin we see it as sin and they don’t. In short make friends at church and do your best to evangelize your secular friends. In my opinion you should always be about spreading the truth to the seculars.
It is not a good idea to go on a drinking spree without your spouse!

 

[ChinaDad]

Praying that the Father watches over anyone in an abusive relationship. Lord if someone needs us to lead them back to Christ, I pray that we have the courage to follow what You’ve asked of us, and go where You lead us. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

May we all trust in God that we are exactly where we are meant to be.

 

[kage_ar]

Many prayers for you. May you find JOY and Peace!