Friends Considering Polygamy

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CaptainPrudeman

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I have two friends, dating, and they say they love one another. Neither one is Catholic, neither one is even Christian. They have seriously considered becoming “polyamorous” (truly just polygamy) while they go to university in separate states. I’ve told both of them that doing such would end our friendships permanently, but they don’t care. I’m scared they’ll choose to be polygamous, and I prayed all night last night for God to tell me what I need to do to prevent it. I received no answer. What can I do? Is our friendship doomed?
 
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I don’t think polygamy is the term that applies here.

Polygamy:

the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.

Polyamory:

the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
 
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Either way, it flies in the face of what is right and true. It sets a bad example for everyone around them and I would take no part in being anywhere near it. What can I do to stop it? Why didn’t God tell me what to do?
 
Capta(name removed by moderator)rudeman said:
have two friends, dating, and they say they love one another. Neither one is Catholic, neither one is even Christian. They have seriously considered becoming “polyamorous”
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You’re in no position to stop two adults! 🤨 They don’t share your religious views and they’re free to do as they please. Sex outside marriage is wrong whichever way you slice it. I think it’s time to find NEW friends who share your values.
 
They’re teenagers, but that still stands I suppose. If they choose to deny the truth, I can pray for them and that’s all I can do.
 
Christ called us to be light and salt. If I cut every sinner out of my life, I would have no friends.

Your job is to be so filled with joy and light and love that your friends want to be like you. Let your light shine before men that they see your good work and glorify your Father in Heaven.

“Friend, I hope that you guard your hearts and focus on your studies instead of pleasure, but know that I will love you and always be here for you”.
 
Their preconceptions about Catholicism and religion in general prevent that. They’ve called me bigoted more than enough for a lifetime because I said you can’t love two people romantically or that homosexual acts are wrong. Nothing short of God himself speaking to them would cause them to praise Him.
 
Christ loves them. They don’t love him. I can’t make them love him because I can’t make them stop loving the world.
 
They’re not married so they can’t be “polygamous”.

What this actually sounds like is that they love each other, but while apart they would like to also be free to date other people.

Without getting into the details, let’s just say I know quite a few polys and have some knowledge of the lifestyle. 90 percent of the time, people (especially young people) today are using the word “polyamorous” to describe a state of having multiple romantic and/or sexual partners at once, and 90 percent of the time it falls apart due to jealousy or somebody deciding they just don’t want to be poly any more and want to be mono with one of the persons involved. The vast majority of people are not able to be truly poly. Human nature is apparently not very well suited for that.

I suggest you just pray for your friends, don’t enter into their lifestyle, and other than that, leave it alone. They are just friends, not your relatives, and their romance/ sex life is really not your business. In any event it sounds most likely that the sin they are committing is fornication, which is a sin whether they are fornicating with just each other or with 5 “poly” partners outside the main “relationship”.
 
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You can’t stop them from doing something they want to do. You can pray for them. But in the end, it’s their decision.
 
Keep them in your prayers. You might just win them to Jesus Christ.
 
I would leave them because I will not be complicit in such abominable sins. Not because I am selfish.
 
Look, if you are not comfortable with the value systems of your friends, please just distance yourself from them and find some new friends. You can continue to pray for your former friends. It’s that simple.

You don’t need to keep making big speeches about how you are right and they are wrong.
Also, I do not see how anyone was asking you to be “complicit” in their behavior. It doesn’t sound like they approached you to participate in, or provide them some facility for, them to fornicate, whether that’s with each other when they are not married, or with 10 other people they meet at college.
 
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Perhaps give them good moral reasons for why it should not be done, including just practicality sake. It would likely ruin their relationship.
 
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