Friends Conundrum- marriage, baptism and confusion

[2ndChance]

My best friend was raised Methodist but has held Catholic beliefs for several years (was told by the minister at the Methodist church that her belief in the Real Presence was an impediment to her full communion with that church). Her husband was raised Catholic but had a falling out with the Church and stopped attending after High School. They would now like to be Catholic but there is a bit of a snafu. They were married in the Methodist Church because at the time he no longer considered himself Catholic and they had their first child baptized in the Methodist Church. Now they would like their new baby baptized Catholic and they intend to become fully Catholic at the earliest opportunity. Here is the rub however:

In order for their marriage to be valid he has to say he did not consider himself Catholic at the time and was not obligated to be married in the Church. But if that is the case do they have to wait until after RCIA to have the baby baptized or is it as simple as him saying he now considers himself to be part of the Church (probably go to confession, etc.)?

If he says he was always Catholic then it makes the baptism issue go away but it will mean their marriage is invalid.

The fact is the first scenario is the most honest one because he really did not consider himself Catholic at the time but I would hate for them to have to wait to get the baby baptized.

Any help would be great for this probably not too uncommon scenario

Tim :banghead:

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

Regardless of the parents legal status in the church, the child can still be baptized in at Catholic church. It would be allowed, even more so as they know the paperwork is being processed.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My best friend was raised Methodist but has held Catholic beliefs for several years (was told by the minister at the Methodist church that her belief in the Real Presence was an impediment to her full communion with that church). Her husband was raised Catholic but had a falling out with the Church and stopped attending after High School. They would now like to be Catholic but there is a bit of a snafu. They were married in the Methodist Church because at the time he no longer considered himself Catholic and they had their first child baptized in the Methodist Church. Now they would like their new baby baptized Catholic and they intend to become fully Catholic at the earliest opportunity. Here is the rub however:

In order for their marriage to be valid he has to say he did not consider himself Catholic at the time and was not obligated to be married in the Church. But if that is the case do they have to wait until after RCIA to have the baby baptized or is it as simple as him saying he now considers himself to be part of the Church (probably go to confession, etc.)?

If he says he was always Catholic then it makes the baptism issue go away but it will mean their marriage is invalid.

The fact is the first scenario is the most honest one because he really did not consider himself Catholic at the time but I would hate for them to have to wait to get the baby baptized.

Any help would be great for this probably not too uncommon scenario

Tim :banghead:

He didn’t consider himself Catholic at the time but most likely was technically. so yes the Marriage is irregular by defect of form. If neither had prior marriages it only needs to be Convalidated. He can return to the Sacraments as soon as he speaks with his pastor. Usually a trip to Confessions is required but a few weeks of “returning Catholics sessions” might also be required. IT should be reasonably simply for him. She would be a Candidate in RCIA. The Baby could be Baptized at any time, it will be the pastors decision.

 

[kage_ar]

From what I understand, there is far more to formal defection than just “saying you do not consider yourself Catholic”.

clsa.org/content/files/USCCB_memo_2006_0405.pdf

Second point, if in fact the man in question did not defect from the Faith - the marriage is invalid due to lack of form. As long as this is first marriage for both of them, having the marriage convalidated is simple takes only a few minutes with the Priest and a couple of witnesses.

I believe tonight on Catholic Answers Live, the second hour is “ask a Canon Lawyer” - that would be the very best person to ask.

 

[puzzleannie]

My best friend was raised Methodist but has held Catholic beliefs for several years (
. . . Her husband was raised Catholic but had a falling out with the Church and stopped attending after High School. They would now like to be Catholic but there is a bit of a snafu. They were married in the Methodist Church because at the time he no longer considered himself Catholic and they had their first child baptized in the Methodist Church.

Now they would like their new baby baptized Catholic and they intend to become fully Catholic at the earliest opportunity. Here is the rub however:

In order for their marriage to be valid he has to say he did not consider himself Catholic at the time and was not obligated to be married in the Church. But if that is the case do they have to wait until after RCIA to have the baby baptized or is it as simple as him saying he now considers himself to be part of the Church (probably go to confession, etc.)?

If he says he was always Catholic then it makes the baptism issue go away but it will mean their marriage is invalid.

The fact is the first scenario is the most honest one because he really did not consider himself Catholic at the time but I would hate for them to have to wait to get the baby baptized.

Any help would be great for this probably not too uncommon scenario

Tim :banghead:

there is no problem, but there is also nothing you or anyone else can do for the couple except advise them to speak with the priest who will be guiding their entry into full communion with the Catholic Church. There are simply too many unanswered questions, and this is not the place to solicit the info.

If he was baptized Catholic he is bound to Catholic laws on marriage unless he formally joined another religion. The priest judges whether or not that happened. If, as I suspect, he is indeed Catholic all that needs to be done is for the marriage to be convalidated as soon as possible (and before her reception into the Church, and before his confirmation if he has not been confirmed). He will then go to confession and return to communion as soon as this is done. She will continue her preparation and be received into the Church when the priest and she decides she is ready. The baby is already baptized and absolutely nothing needs to be done, except for the child to be brought for religious instruction and sacramental preparation at the appropriate age.

 

[Seatuck]

My best friend was raised Methodist but has held Catholic beliefs for several years (was told by the minister at the Methodist church that her belief in the Real Presence was an impediment to her full communion with that church). Her husband was raised Catholic but had a falling out with the Church and stopped attending after High School. They would now like to be Catholic but there is a bit of a snafu. They were married in the Methodist Church because at the time he no longer considered himself Catholic and they had their first child baptized in the Methodist Church. Now they would like their new baby baptized Catholic and they intend to become fully Catholic at the earliest opportunity. Here is the rub however:

In order for their marriage to be valid he has to say he did not consider himself Catholic at the time and was not obligated to be married in the Church. But if that is the case do they have to wait until after RCIA to have the baby baptized or is it as simple as him saying he now considers himself to be part of the Church (probably go to confession, etc.)?

If he says he was always Catholic then it makes the baptism issue go away but it will mean their marriage is invalid.

The fact is the first scenario is the most honest one because he really did not consider himself Catholic at the time but I would hate for them to have to wait to get the baby baptized.

Any help would be great for this probably not too uncommon scenario

Tim :banghead:

He’s a Catholic. Unless he left the church by a formal act. Even if he made the separation , the church never did. Frankly , he ought to be glad that the church never gave up on him and wishes to accept his reconcilliation. He needs to go speak with a priest . He has to go to confession and have his marriage convalidated in the church. This is assuming both parties were free to marry. His marriage is invalid by church standards.

Is there a problem with his admitting he didn’t marry according the rules of the church? It’s the simple truth.