Friends Dating, and I'm stuck in the middle. Please help?

[jeanne71350]

Hi there,

I’m 17 years old, and I’m in the junior/senior time in high school. My 2 best friends in my grade recently started dating. Apparently, the guy had some problems, and the girl really helped him through it…and then he told me that he had feelings for her. I advised him to love her as a friend first, and see if she would be a proper partner. Well, the girl told me that she didn’t like him that way at all. Then, I hear from someone else that they are dating. I really don’t like the situation I’m in at all. They act all goofy all the time, and they constantly keep teasing each other, and some things the guy says really upsets me. I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would jokingly tease me, but it got out of hand…and it ended up being abuse. I’m scared of what’s going to happen. The girl is very childish and dosen’t see anything wrong with anything. I tried talking to both of them, but they just deny everything I say. I’m really worried and I don’t like being around them together. I know someone is going to tell me to stop seeing them and hang out with someone else, but that really tears me. Because, if this is not as bad as I think it is, it would be my fault the friendship is ruined. And also, I would be all alone at school, which I wouldn’t mind…but I feel like me being there helps them keep things at a pure and friendly level. Like, they need me.

I’m torn. Can someone help? Any advice and/or prayers is appreciated

-Jeanne

 

[Suspicious_Mind]

Probably thinking into things too much and nosing around too much as well. A guy likes a girl, and this girl doesn’t like him too much (in that way), but they are teasing each other and being goofy; this is a reason for great alarm?

Call the Vatican and let them know the new insidious ways of Satan! - Sorry to hear about the abuse thing before, but you can’t suspect every guy to do the same, especially when none of his/her actions suggest that any form of abuse is going to happen.

The world cartwheels along as it should…

 

[cmscms]

Depnding on what they are doing, you can ask them to not behave that way in front of you. However, that is a really fine line because if they are not directly doing something to you, then if you don’t like it you have to leave.

Also, and I don’t know how to word this politely but it sounds like you are over concerned about them and totally wrong in thinking they need you to keep it friendly. That is not your job and to take it on yourself would cause them great offense. I would notbbe surprised if they are purposely acting goofy in front of you because they sense you wanting to control the relationship and this is how they are getting back at you.

When 2 high school kids start dating, they often forget their friends names and as much as it hurts for you, rarely do they take their friends feelings into consideration

CM

 

[emeise]

I think it’s very compassionate of you to be thinking of them. It may just be the case that they aren’t intending any harm when they poke fun. But I understand your concern for maintaining respect, and I’ll bet that your friends see it too. There doesn’t seem to be a need for them to be constantly supervised; however, I think that they know and appreciate the fact that you care Just keep being the awesome friend you are!

 

[jeanne71350]

I think it’s very compassionate of you to be thinking of them. It may just be the case that they aren’t intending any harm when they poke fun. But I understand your concern for maintaining respect, and I’ll bet that your friends see it too. There doesn’t seem to be a need for them to be constantly supervised; however, I think that they know and appreciate the fact that you care Just keep being the awesome friend you are!

Thanks. I just wanted to say that I don’t think that I need to supervise them. I just mean, that they need me. I appreciate that.

-Jeanne

 

[Sierrah]

Hi there,

I’m 17 years old, and I’m in the junior/senior time in high school. My 2 best friends in my grade recently started dating. Apparently, the guy had some problems, and the girl really helped him through it…and then he told me that he had feelings for her. I advised him to love her as a friend first, and see if she would be a proper partner. Well, the girl told me that she didn’t like him that way at all. Then, I hear from someone else that they are dating. I really don’t like the situation I’m in at all. They act all goofy all the time, and they constantly keep teasing each other, and some things the guy says really upsets me. I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would jokingly tease me, but it got out of hand…and it ended up being abuse. I’m scared of what’s going to happen. The girl is very childish and dosen’t see anything wrong with anything. I tried talking to both of them, but they just deny everything I say. I’m really worried and I don’t like being around them together. I know someone is going to tell me to stop seeing them and hang out with someone else, but that really tears me. Because, if this is not as bad as I think it is, it would be my fault the friendship is ruined. And also, I would be all alone at school, which I wouldn’t mind…but I feel like me being there helps them keep things at a pure and friendly level. Like, they need me.

I’m torn. Can someone help? Any advice and/or prayers is appreciated

-Jeanne

I think it is wonderful that they have such a concerned friend but in the end their actions are their own decision and there’s only so much you can do but try to be a good influence. I understand how their sudden relationship could make you feel left out too. Maybe give them a little space and seek out a few other friends for the time being to expand your options while continuing to be a good friend to both of them. If you feel the teasing is not what it should be maybe consult an adult for a second opinion. Teasing and acting goofy can mean different things to different people so it’s hard to judge for sure.