Actually, very few divorces have anything to do with abuse or adultery as stated reason. The biggest bulk are filed by women for reasons like “lack of emotional fulfilment.” As to the housing issue, decades ago that was true. However, alimony and related concepts are for all practical purposes dead. There could be many reasons why the woman can’t stay, the house may not be community property if you live in a CP state. Even if it is the house belongs equally to both spouses. If one doesn’t have the financial resources to buy out the other’s interest the house must be sold. She may have been bought out, if the property is lease held she might not be on the lease and thus have no right to stay, and so on.
Yes, because I don’t automatically assume the man is at fault I must be “anti-woman.” Do men cheat on their wives, of course they do. Then again women cheat on their husbands and cry foul when a state passes a law saying men don’t have to pay child support to the products of their wife’s adultery. Nor does it change the fact that many women make unfounded claims of abuse and even worse, sexual abuse against the children, to try and extort more money. Nor does it change the fact that women often alienate fathers from their children lives and family courts won’t do anything about it. This pop culture mythology that divorce is about evil men leaving their wonderful loyal wives for 20 somethings is something that offends me as a man. Not to say it never happens, but it’s a lot more rare than some people have an interest in making it seem common would have you believe. The bulk of divorces are filed by women for reasons that have nothing to do with adultery or abuse. If you’re being abused call the cops. If you wait until your divorce to bring it up then you can hardly be shocked when it seems like you’re making it up. Men also have rights, and just because a woman says something doesn’t make it so. We certainly wouldn’t uphold a man’s claim of adultery against his wife just because he said so during a divorce. I certainly sympathize with any victim of spousal abuse, women and men alike. However, courts are places of fact and evidence and any court that simply took someone’s word for it would be executing a great injustice.
I agree and I’m a woman. I’ve known women who were manipulative and emotionally abusive toward their husbands but claimed otherwise. They have told me straight out that a woman needs to manipulate to get the man (husband) to do what she wants (wife). These were good men who jumped through hoops for their wives (two-three jobs to pay for her children’s-from a preious marriage- college while she worked part time and traveled around the world the other half b/c her husband couldn’t go becaus of working too much, just an example).
Here's your quote. Do you have statistics to back this horrible allegation up? That women, who often have the most to lose during a divorce, economically, socially and emotionally, are the ones who file the most for arbitrary or shallow reasons? Your quote does seem to be woman-bashing.
When there is a divorce, the woman's income goes down 66 percent and the man's goes up 33%. No woman I know would file lightly.
And there are many reasons women don't call the cops on an abuser. Probably someone you know is getting abused, and you're completely unaware of it. Don't mock someone or say they're making it up until you've really had a heart to heart with a victim of domestic violence.It is a statisitical fact that women are the ones that file for the bulk of divorces.
It’s rather rude when you imply someone else is being dishonest by demanding sources and then present information as factual without supporting it yourself. In situations of divorce without children that may be true, it certainly is not when children are involved.
That’s their choice, can’t make anyone use the resources out there. No, it is not probable that someone I know is being abused. The attempt to make abuse common place is merely a political agenda, there’s no evidence for it. The reality is the vast majority of domestic violence is “spousal combative behavior” and in the majority of cases the woman is the one that esclates the situation to physical violence. These situations are much more dangerous for men as men defend themselves with only their hands while women are prone to the use of weapons.
I’m a woman and I don’t know any women like this. I’m sure they must exist somewhere. But the women I know stick with their marriages through thick and thin, and those I know who have left their husbands left for really, really compelling reasons. The husband was just not ever committed, or of good will.
I had the same reaction to CCM08. He seemed to be women-bashing to me, as well. I felt he had a bitter experience, and was generalizing about the motives of all women in general.
That was certainly the case with me. My income took a huge dive, his went way up. He cheated, he filed. Its been the case in every instance that I know of.
Right. I have. And you know what they say? That bruises and broken bones are not the devastating wounds - its verbal abuse that is shattering, and is much worse than anything physical. Verbal abuse is far more common, and there are no burises or borken bones to prove it happened. Like all crimes, it takes place in private - when there are no witnesses. Its almost always a husband abusing a wife. Men are the primary verbal abusors, so says verbal abuse expert and author Patricia Evans. Over 90% of the time, its the man. If I recall, I think she says its closer to 100% (just less than). And I know this is the reason for many divorces. Its simply a problem that is more common to man than woman. (Like murder, for example. Women murder. But a murderer is much more likely to be a man.) Abuse is about controlling another person, and its a man’s problem. After all, God didn’t tell Adam that, as a result of sin being in the world now, “Your wife will rule over you.”
I think thats a possibility, but not a probability. Also, this woman-in-crisis may not have a family to turn to for some reason - they may not be practically or emotionally able to lend her a hand. If Naknak and his wife don’t feel they can discern the sitation for themselves, as far as if this women is genuinely in need, perhaps an aware third party could advise them.
That may be all thats called for in some cases, but in many crisis situations, a wounded, hurting person needs a hand extended in Christian charity.
We are going to find out more about the situation and make our decision accordingly. At this point, we are not really concerned about the enabling factor, but we just need to learn a bit more about what’s going on, as we are friends with both parties.