Friend's Husband

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BEattitude

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Hi everyone! I am asking this question for a friend. Her husband wont stop smoking pot or drinking. She told him he needs to get help and he said he will never stop. She wants to part ways to protect her children! She has tried to get him help but to no avail! He has also been having an emotional affair. Does anyone have any other suggestions other than al anon?
 
BEattitude said:
Hi everyone! I am asking this question for a friend. Her husband wont stop smoking pot or drinking. She told him he needs to get help and he said he will never stop. She wants to part ways to protect her children! She has tried to get him help but to no avail! He has also been having an emotional affair. Does anyone have any other suggestions other than al anon?
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Refer her to Retrovaille, a retreat for troubled couples. If he will go, they might be able to save their marriage. If he won’t confront his addiction then getting the kids out of harms way is a must.
 
BEattitude said:
Hi everyone! I am asking this question for a friend. Her husband wont stop smoking pot or drinking. She told him he needs to get help and he said he will never stop. She wants to part ways to protect her children! She has tried to get him help but to no avail! He has also been having an emotional affair. Does anyone have any other suggestions other than al anon?
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Tell your “friend” , assuming she is Catholic, to talk to her priest.
Kathy
 
OK she has talked to a priest but it seems that everyone is telling her to divorce! I think I am the only one telling her to try to work it out! We live in a no fault divorce state which he would get equal custody! so divorce would not necessarily protect the children!
 
Divorce isn’t the only option. She should think about putting some distance between herself and her spouse until things can be put in their proper perspective.
Kathy
 
Agreed, Katie. Sometimes a period of separation makes it clear for everyone what life would be like living as a broken family. Perhaps it would give the husband a chance to reassess his priorities before it’s too late.
 
I am not totally conviced separation will bring people together. Usually what happens in separation both parties love the freedom and the single life, especially if their marriage was on the rocks! I think separation leads to divorce more so than staying in the marriage!
 
BEattitude said:
OK she has talked to a priest but it seems that everyone is telling her to divorce! I think I am the only one telling her to try to work it out! We live in a no fault divorce state which he would get equal custody! so divorce would not necessarily protect the children!
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One way to protect her and her children; notify the police of the drug use. This becomes a matter of court record for future divorce concerns.
 
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