Friends/lifestyle

[TraynorJ]

Ive been struggling for a while trying to overcome a lot of vices, especially getting drunk and smoking. i only have one friend who goes to mass, but i dont think he feels getting drunk is a sin. all the rest of my friends dont really believe in God and they dont seem to have particularly good morals. My friends dont try to put pressure on me to sin but i feel it anyway and almost always give in. I want to be good and i would even be willing to join a monastry or become a hermit but i know that im not pure enough yet. i feel bad about avoiding my friends but feel that i might have to do this for my own well being. I have a really bad lifestyle, im lazy and have no motivation, been unemployed for about a month now and i dont have a clue what to do with my free time, i literally sit about all day watching tv smoking waiting for my friends to call me so we can go and get drunk. I would really appreciate any advice about what i should do during the days like a daily routine or something and also any advice about what i should do about my friends. thanks.

 

[jprioli]

Tray;

Can you get another job?

Even if no, do you have transportation?

Can you get out to daily Mass, for example?

Perhaps volunteer at a food pantry, a hospital, a senior center?

These things will fill up your time, and they will also expose you to people who can support a change in your lifestyle.

Above all else, and with all else: Pray to God for a way out of the rut you are in.

Regards,
Joe

 

[happyseppy]

To all of the above post, I heartily agree! Mass, adoration, confession. All will afford you the grace you need to make changes.

Helping others who are worse off than you will change your perspective greatly, and give you good reason to get up and out each day.

And the more prayer and adoration you open yourself to, the more you will be able to radiate Jesus to other folks.

God Bless you! Take that first step, you will be so glad you did!

Peace,
Kelly

 

[TraynorJ]

thanks for the replies, i’ll try and get to mass in the mornings and i’ll also try and get some volunteer work and see how things go from there.

 

[KathyA]

I don’t know how old you are, but perhaps the book “Gut Check” by Tapek Saab would be helpful. Look in the radio archives of Catholic Answers. He was a recent guest and had such a wonderful, inspiring story to tell young men.

Blessings,
Kathy

 

[KathyA]

Correct the author of Gut Check to Tarek, not Tapek!

Kathy

 

[kind_bean]

As hard as it will be, the biggest thing that you need to do is find new friends who will help, not hinder, you in becoming a devote Catholic. Finding other Catholics would be the best situation, but I think as long as they don’t drink, do drugs, and are responsible people, they will help you whether or not they are Catholic. Friends, even those who have our best intentions in their heart, can hold us back from our goals, even if they don’t mean too. Because all they do is drink, it will be difficult to hang out with them and sit there and watch them drink, while you don’t. And often, especially after they had a few, they will poke fun at you for the new lifestyle you want to led.

I was in a similar situation. I didn’t drink that much, but I would smoke pot every day, several times a day. When I finally decided to quit, I realized that I needed to stop hanging around with my friends that still smoked. It was just too tempting to be that close to it and not smoke. Plus, they were having fun smoking (or drinking) and that left me sober and bored. I had much more fun going out with sober friends and doing something with them.

Going to daily mass is wonderful and I was at the best place in my life (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) when I want every day. Adoration is wonderful, too, and you don’t need to go with anyone. Also, you can go and say the Stations or a rosary in an open church during the day (not during mass).

Getting a job and/or volunteering is also a great way to grow spiritually and keep yourself out of trouble. Reading is another way, or taking a class, learning an instrument, hiking, starting a garden/hobby, working out, etc.

Try going to your church to see what kind of activities are available and it any of them interest you. The internet has many resources for finding different things to do and you may be able to meet some Catholics your age in your area (always be careful about meeting people from the internet - meet in a public place with a parent/friend/relative, and make sure others know where you are going).

Once you start changing your life in these little ways, you will realize (if you haven’t already) that you don’t have much in common with your other friends, other than drinking, and you will not want to hang out with them anymore. It can be tough at first to pull away and you may even feel guilty, but try to remember that God comes before our friends.

God Bless
KB