Friends want to take me out on Good Friday

[Celeste88]

I have a birthday coming up in a few days. As my husband is off on Good Friday and I am off as well as many people, a good friend of mine has invited us for lunch and desert with possible snacks involved. I told my husband we should maybe get together for Saturday due to the fasting requirement but he told me Friday would be a better day for driving - less traffic on the road. He’s the driver - I’m not. He also told me I have to figure out my fasting/eating problem for Good Friday since he is not a Catholic and not bound by my dietary constrictions. Ok, so how do I handle this now? My friends are also not practicing Catholics and I’m sure there’s going to be food everywhere.

 

[Tonks40]

Who’s birthday is it - yours or theirs? Good Friday should be observed with humility, reverence and reflection. Change the date to Saturday, and if they don’t find it “convenient” then that’s their problem, not yours.

 

[yessisan]

I have a birthday coming up in a few days. As my husband is off on Good Friday and I am off as well as many people, a good friend of mine has invited us for lunch and desert with possible snacks involved. I told my husband we should maybe get together for Saturday due to the fasting requirement but he told me Friday would be a better day for driving - less traffic on the road. He’s the driver - I’m not. He also told me I have to figure out my fasting/eating problem for Good Friday since he is not a Catholic and not bound by my dietary constrictions. Ok, so how do I handle this now? My friends are also not practicing Catholics and I’m sure there’s going to be food everywhere.

Mmm… since you are a practicing Catholic, I think you should try to convince your friends and husband to get together on Saturday insead.

Good Friday is the day Our Lord died on the cross. It should be a time of prayer and reflection. I don’t mean to be a meanie but Good Friday is a day of suffering… Saturday would be the best choice since you don’t have to fast or abstain…

 

[mahalia]

go out with them but stick to your fasting habits.
I wouldn’t go because I only eat bread and water on Good Friday.
but if you can eat something that has no meat, and if you are okay with that, then go.

 

[KCT]

If it was dh’s birthday, I’d go out, eat fish and not snack.

If it’s your birthday, I think you should do what you want.

 

[Lovemyfaith]

I think it was last year we had a friend over who was not Catholic, due to some time conflict. We ordered food in for her and had our light meal of the day. It was a quiet, but nice meal. Do you think your friends could come over your house if that is the only time they are available?

 

[bayoubutterfly]

well you are allowed to eat one full meal a day, use it for that if you can’t make other plans

 

[1ke]

I have a birthday coming up in a few days. As my husband is off on Good Friday and I am off as well as many people, a good friend of mine has invited us for lunch and desert with possible snacks involved.

Tell your friends that you appreciate the invitation but Good Friday is a day of fast, abstinenece from meat, and penance so you will have to decline. Ask if they would like to reschedule for another day or the following week.

I told my husband we should maybe get together for Saturday due to the fasting requirement but he told me Friday would be a better day for driving - less traffic on the road. He’s the driver - I’m not.

Pardon me, but that is total BS.

He also told me I have to figure out my fasting/eating problem for Good Friday since he is not a Catholic and not bound by my dietary constrictions.

What a jerky thing to say. It’s **YOUR **birthday. You do not have to “figure out” anything regarding fasting/eating. Since this would be a celebration for YOU, it makes no sense to do it on a day when YOU are fasting.

It’s your special day and if he wants to try to pull that you can reschedule with your friends, ask them to pick you up, and leave his butt at home.

Ok, so how do I handle this now?

I don’t think you have anything to “handle” with your friends, but plenty to “handle” with your husband’s attitude.

My friends are also not practicing Catholics and I’m sure there’s going to be food everywhere.

Your friends will not have **any **problem with this at all. I have non-Catholic friends and when they’ve invited me on a day of fasting or abstinence from meat all I’ve had to do is mention the fact that it’s a day of fast/abstinence and they are HAPPY to reschedule or make other arrangements. That’s what FRIENDS do for each other.

 

[Linda_Marie]

I have a birthday coming up in a few days. As my husband is off on Good Friday and I am off as well as many people, a good friend of mine has invited us for lunch and desert with possible snacks involved. I told my husband we should maybe get together for Saturday due to the fasting requirement but he told me Friday would be a better day for driving - less traffic on the road. He’s the driver - I’m not. He also told me I have to figure out my fasting/eating problem for Good Friday since he is not a Catholic and not bound by my dietary constrictions. Ok, so how do I handle this now? My friends are also not practicing Catholics and I’m sure there’s going to be food everywhere.

OK, so it’s your birthday,your party, but you won’t be able to join in because it is Good Friday. Does your husband think you will have a good time if you sit there and watch everyone else eat, drink and be merry? Is this how he thinks you should celebrate your birthday? He may not be Catholic but you are and he needs to respect that.

Does he think that your faith is something to be tossed away if it conflicts with party scheduling or just because he doesn’t follow it or that he thinks it will be easier driving - I mean how far are we talking about? He knew you were Catholic when you married. Stand firm and let him know that your faith means something to you.

Tell them to go ahead, have the party on Friday - but you won’t be there. If they want you there, have it on Saturday.

 

[strngrnrth]

I’d put off celebrating until the next Friday if it were my birthday. Your husband sound very insensitive. Maybe he’s trying to pressure you to convert?

 

[jmdana]

Tell them “Good Friday is not an appropriate time for a birthday party.” That’s all you need to say.

 

[mahalia]

Tell them to go ahead, have the party on Friday - but you won’t be there. If they want you there, have it on Saturday.

If she decides to postpone the whole thing, I don’t think it would be appropriate to do it on Saturday.
Saturday after Good Friday is the saddest day of all, until the evening when we gather to pray and “wait” for Easter.

 

[kristacecilia]

I agree with the PP who have said that there should be no issue about you rescheduling. I often try to put myself in the shoes of someone of a different religion who takes their faith very seriously- like a very devout Muslim. Would a very devout Muslim person have a problem asking for THEIR birthday party to be rescheduled because it falls on a holy day of fasting? Umm… probably not. And probably said Muslim’s friends would not have a problem with it because it conflicts with said Muslim’s religious practices.

For some reason we Catholics aren’t taken as seriously… maybe it’s because we don’t take our Faith seriously enough? Just tell your friends that the party conflicts with your religious observation of Good Friday and ask if it could please be rescheduled for after Easter. If they hem and haw… ask… would you be upset if I were Muslim and I gave a similar reason?

 

[JMJDevotee]

Good Friday is the most somber Holy Day. A silence pervades, socializing is kept to a minimum, things are done quietly; it is a day of mourning; it is a funeral. The Temple of the Body of Christ is destroyed, capping the the penitential seasons begun on Septuagesima Sunday and becoming more intense throughout Lent.

Many people I know, Catholic and non-Catholic, know this and take the day off work, refrain from running errands, and respect the day for what it is.

I converted to the Church 4 years ago and my family still does not understand the significance of the day to me. I know it is not easy to make a stand but you can. Politely but firmly inform your friends that while you appreciate their love for you and desire to celebrate your birthday, you are unable to attend on Good Friday or during the Triduum at all. Tell them you must honor the faith traditions of your Church and in so doing, honor God and His Son.

God bless you and happy birthday!!

Pax Vobiscum

 

[idrum677]

I agree with the previous posters.

This is your birthday and your desire to honor Christ and commerate the Passion should be respected. Good Friday is a day of fasting, prayer, and reflection. It should not be used for celebrating- period!

 

[kage_ar]

Postpone, heck if they will not respect your practices just skip it all together this year. - agree with an above poster, Easter Saturday until AFTER the Vigil we are still waiting, in quiet - remembering Christ in the tomb.

 

[Celeste88]

Thank you everyone for all your comments. We have decided to postpone any celebrating till next weekend. When hubby heard there is a snowstorm heading in our direction tomorrow he decided against traveling. I’m still mad at him that he wanted to go on Good Friday!

It will be a good day for contemplation and prayer, however the weather may not permit me to go to the Good Friday services now.