Friends with your confessor?

[Infaith1]

Is it difficult for a priest to be a friend to a parishioner who he sees regularly for confession? I have several long-standing friendships and believe I know these people very well, but certainly not the way a Priest would know them if he regularly saw them for confession. Assuming the parishioner was not a childhood friend of the Priest, I would think the Priest would lack an understanding of the general context of the person which I think would only be possible from years of experience? Coupled with the fact that most of their time is spent hearing the parishioner’s darkest thoughts and actions, wouldn’t this make a friendship (in the natural sense of the word (not supra-natural sense - i.e. Jesus and I, rather Average Joe and I) difficult?

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[superamazingman]

Due to the age difference, “friends” wouldn’t really be the right word, but I know both my confessors very well. I have had no personal problems with knowing them very well and going to confession with them. As soon as I start talking, they know me right away, even behind the screen.

For many others, I hear this kind of thing is hard for them. I guess it’s a gift I have. I’ve just never really cared.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I have a friend who is a priest. He’s four days older than me, and we went to school together for several years. I would never consider going to him for Confession, unless it wasn’t a big confession, and just a devotional one, and there was no other priest available, and even then I would be hesitant, or an emergency.

Aside from that, I don’t look to “make friends” with priests. The vast majority are older than me anyways, and they are spiritual fathers, not friends. With my previous confessor, who literally heard every dark and evil sin I’ve ever done, there was no awkwardness. What happens in The Box stays in The Box. I can’t speak for priests, but for myself, I try to think of it as a different world. As if whatever happened in there didn’t actually happen. I leave my confessions in the confessional.

 

[Ophelia23]

I on the other hand had a great friendship with a priest who was also my confessor. It was spiritually the most fruitful period of my life in many respects. He knew me as well as I knew myself, held me accountable in ways no other priest could, and gave counsel so incredibly attuned to my spiritual growth.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I on the other hand had a great friendship with a priest who was also my confessor. It was spiritually the most fruitful period of my life in many respects. He knew me as well as I knew myself, held me accountable in ways no other priest could, and gave counsel so incredibly attuned to my spiritual growth.

I agree with this 100% as it was my experience as well.

I think that it really depends on the two individuals, some can make a relationship like this work, some can’t. If you can, my experience tells me it is most beneficial.