From Protestant services to Catholic Mass

[mom2three]

I am converting to Catholicism and just started RCIA. I was raised non-denominational and have not yet informed my family of my decision to join the Catholic Church, since I’m not looking forward to their reaction. I am still attending non-denominational services in addition to regular attendance at Mass. I do this partly to avoid questioning from my family and partly because it’s comfortable to me. When I go, I now notice the doctrinal differences and ignore those aspects but I very much love the music and the passion of the people there so I’m finding it difficult to let go… this is another reason why I’m still going… while I let it soak in that I’m saying goodbye.

Is it wrong for me to be holding on to those aspects that I’ve grown up with and loved by continuing to attend?

I know I won’t continue going forever but on another note, once I am a Catholic, will it be wrong for me to attend those services with my family on occasion?

 

[rr1213]

From what I’ve seen, the Catholic Church officially frowns on Catholics attending Protestant services because, in the Church’s eyes, it gives credence to what the Church believes to be error.

 

[Fidelis]

Is it wrong for me to be holding on to those aspects that I’ve grown up with and loved by continuing to attend?

For the time being, no. Once you become Catholic, you will need to re-establish your priorities.

I know I won’t continue going forever but on another note, once I am a Catholic, will it be wrong for me to attend those services with my family on occasion?

It is permissible for Catholics to attend non-Catholic services as a guest, but not in lieu of attending Mass, and without receiving non-Catholic “communion” or otherwise compromising the Catholic Faith.

 

[djrakowski]

I think you’re permitted to attend Protestant services, as long as you don’t receive their sacraments (or ordinances, depending on the denomination and/or theological orientation of this church). Participating in their sacraments gives the impression that you accept their theology, which is often directly opposed to what we believe as Catholics.

This is especially important with respect the Eucharist, because it is the “source and summit of the Christian life” (Catechism para. #1324).

I fully understand your reluctance to let go of the traditions and worship style of your evangelical church. This tradition is part of your life, and therefore it hurts to think of leaving it. But, the riches of the Eucharist will more than make up for what you leave behind, believe me.

And, once you’ve converted, let your family know that you’ll attend their services if they agree to go to Mass with you

God Bless,
Dan

 

[mom2three]

I think you’re permitted to attend Protestant services, as long as you don’t receive their sacraments (or ordinances, depending on the denomination and/or theological orientation of this church). Participating in their sacraments gives the impression that you accept their theology, which is often directly opposed to what we believe as Catholics.

This is especially important with respect the Eucharist, because it is the “source and summit of the Christian life” (Catechism para. #1324).

I fully understand your reluctance to let go of the traditions and worship style of your evangelical church. This tradition is part of your life, and therefore it hurts to think of leaving it. But, the riches of the Eucharist will more than make up for what you leave behind, believe me.

And, once you’ve converted, let your family know that you’ll attend their services if they agree to go to Mass with you

God Bless,
Dan

It’s not difficult to refuse communion where I attend because they only do it monthly and never during a regular service… which, thinking on it now, is quite SAD!

 

[djrakowski]

It’s not difficult to refuse communion where I attend because they only do it monthly and never during a regular service… which, thinking on it now, is quite SAD!

Yeah, we did communion once a month, too, and I usually found a way to miss that particular service (because they were short of Sunday school and/or nursery help, for example). I don’t understand why they don’t offer it more frequently, even in churches where it is regarded as symbolic. Why would you want to avoid that which gives eternal life? (John 6:51, 54, 58)

I’m so thankful that God has given the Church the wisdom and grace to offer the Eucharist every single day. Now, if I could just convince my kids to get to bed earlier, I might make it to 6AM daily Mass every once in a while!

 

[valient_Lucy]

I am converting to Catholicism and just started RCIA. I was raised non-denominational and have not yet informed my family of my decision to join the Catholic Church, since I’m not looking forward to their reaction. I am still attending non-denominational services in addition to regular attendance at Mass. I do this partly to avoid questioning from my family and partly because it’s comfortable to me. When I go, I now notice the doctrinal differences and ignore those aspects but I very much love the music and the passion of the people there so I’m finding it difficult to let go… this is another reason why I’m still going… while I let it soak in that I’m saying goodbye.

Is it wrong for me to be holding on to those aspects that I’ve grown up with and loved by continuing to attend?

I know I won’t continue going forever but on another note, once I am a Catholic, will it be wrong for me to attend those services with my family on occasion?

Welcome to the forums, and to the faith! I totally understand your fears about telling your family, since I converted next year. Still, you should tell them, and sooner rather than later. I’m not saying you have to tell them tomorrow, but you can also start dropping hints. For example, does your family know that you are attending Mass? If not, tell them. That way, they won’t be as shocked later when they find out you want to join the church. They’ll still have plenty of questions, and you can tell them about Mass, and invite them to join you.
I know how it is hard to let go. I spent time in a non-denominational church, and it was then that I really started to act on my faith, and begin a relationship with God. However, I also knew I couldn’t let comfort take precidence over the truth. I don’t think that it’s wrong to enjoy a certain kind of music or the enthusiasm of the people. I wish Catholics could be so enthusiastic sometimes! I would encourage you, to listen to the music at Mass with an open mind, and to find enthusiastic Catholics in your parish and diocese. They are certainly there, if you look for them.

As for attending a non-denominational service after you become Catholic, it is my understanding that you could go, but you MUST fulfill your obligation to attend Mass. You cannot skip Mass to attend a non-denominational service. That is a mortal sin. It may be possible to continue to go as you do now, however, I doubt that most priests would encourage this practice. As you pointed out, the non-denominational church does contain many doctrinal errors, and, especially if you are unfamiliar with Catholic doctrine, you may begin to pick up some of the errors instead of Catholic teaching. Plus, depending on the non-denominational church’s stance on the Catholic Church (some of them, including the one I attended can be anti-Catholic) you may find your Catholic faith treated with scorn, or even hostillity. At the church I attended, the pastor informed the congregation that the Mass was idolatry and blasphemy against our Lord. I can’t tell you how I felt at that moment. I think, after you are recieved into the Catholic faith, you should attend Mass as much as possible. I have been studying the Catholic Faith for several years, but I am stll learning to think as a Catholic, and to have a Catholic heart and soul, if that makes sense. Basically, I would find a good priest or spiritual director (something I need to do myself!) and ask them for advice.

 

[mom2three]

Welcome to the forums, and to the faith! I totally understand your fears about telling your family, since I converted next year. Still, you should tell them, and sooner rather than later. I’m not saying you have to tell them tomorrow, but you can also start dropping hints. For example, does your family know that you are attending Mass? If not, tell them. That way, they won’t be as shocked later when they find out you want to join the church. They’ll still have plenty of questions, and you can tell them about Mass, and invite them to join you.
I know how it is hard to let go. I spent time in a non-denominational church, and it was then that I really started to act on my faith, and begin a relationship with God. However, I also knew I couldn’t let comfort take precidence over the truth. I don’t think that it’s wrong to enjoy a certain kind of music or the enthusiasm of the people. I wish Catholics could be so enthusiastic sometimes! I would encourage you, to listen to the music at Mass with an open mind, and to find enthusiastic Catholics in your parish and diocese. They are certainly there, if you look for them.

As for attending a non-denominational service after you become Catholic, it is my understanding that you could go, but you MUST fulfill your obligation to attend Mass. You cannot skip Mass to attend a non-denominational service. That is a mortal sin. It may be possible to continue to go as you do now, however, I doubt that most priests would encourage this practice. As you pointed out, the non-denominational church does contain many doctrinal errors, and, especially if you are unfamiliar with Catholic doctrine, you may begin to pick up some of the errors instead of Catholic teaching. Plus, depending on the non-denominational church’s stance on the Catholic Church (some of them, including the one I attended can be anti-Catholic) you may find your Catholic faith treated with scorn, or even hostillity. At the church I attended, the pastor informed the congregation that the Mass was idolatry and blasphemy against our Lord. I can’t tell you how I felt at that moment. I think, after you are recieved into the Catholic faith, you should attend Mass as much as possible. I have been studying the Catholic Faith for several years, but I am stll learning to think as a Catholic, and to have a Catholic heart and soul, if that makes sense. Basically, I would find a good priest or spiritual director (something I need to do myself!) and ask them for advice.

My family does know a little bit. They know I’m attending Mass and that I’m taking my children (I used to have them watch the kids when I went to Mass - when I was just exploring it). My boyfriend is a Catholic and I have dropped a few hints here and there. One hint was met with an attack and I ended up just leaving.

I am terrified to tell my family. I thought of a letter but it would end up being a novel. I’d rather sit and talk with them one issue at a time… I simply don’t know how to break the news to them.

I attend Mass every week and would NOT skip it to go to the other church. I would just do what I do now… both… but I would then be going only on occasion as a guest and to show my family that I am no less a Christian than I was before (and in fact a fuller Christian than before).

I know they won’t disown me but I’ve NEVER been good at giving them news I know they won’t accept well.

I just have no idea how to approach it with them AT ALL!

 

[Philthy]

Is it wrong for me to be holding on to those aspects that I’ve grown up with and loved by continuing to attend?

I know I won’t continue going forever but on another note, once I am a Catholic, will it be wrong for me to attend those services with my family on occasion?

Great questions, and I’ll let you know from the start that I dont have the answers. My wife is Protestant (ex-Catholic) and we attend an Evangelical church (I still attend Mass ). I have been on the “worship team” for a couple years now. We have many friends from the Evangelical church whom I certainly consider Christians. The church is going through some tough times right now and they need my help on the worship team. I had cut back my participation - I used to play almost every Sunday - and just today I got a call from one of my friends saying they need me if I can spare the time. I really feel like my energies need to be directed toward my parish - and I am becoming more active, but I don’t feel very Christlike turning my back on my friends from the Evangelical church. I know what your goin’ through…

Phil

 

[scylla]

Does your Catholic Church have a Bible study group which involves some singing?

I attend one which allows my wife to do some of the singing of the old songs which she liked at Calvary Chapel and we study the Bible together, it is almost exactly the same as our old non-denominational service except we now understand that we do this for our enjoyment. That is the appeal of it, it is an emotional enjoyment and feel good aspect that the fellowship brings to you.

This is no substitute to the Mass and is a complement to true worship of God and allows us to chat and relax with our Catholic friends. My wife sings while I enjoy the Mexican food, (I am not much of a singer). I also enjoy discussing the faith and practicing discussing the faith, something we can’t do at Mass.
At Mass we are there to worship God, not to joke around\discuss issues with friends.

There are many parishes with study groups, praise and worship groups, prayer groups and faith sharing groups.

If one does not exist maybe after you are in the Church and spend a little time gaining the trust of your pastor you might be able to start one.

In Christ
Scylla

 

[THutch04]

I just came into the Church this past year. I completely understand not being able to let go of your other church. I was the same way. The whole time I was considering becoming Catholic, I was attending both churches (which made for some long Sunday mornings, but was definitely worth it, because I loved the music they played in my Anglican church). The last time I went to my Anglican church before I became Catholic was on Easter Sunday (I converted the week AFTER Easter, on Divine Mercy Sunday), and it was my way of saying one last goodbye to the people and the Church that had given me so much for so long. I was really involved in the church, and knew the many different flavors of Anglicanism; it wasn’t just a label to me, it was a big part of who I was, so it was very difficult for me to let go of Anglican Christianity. Definitely a bittersweet moment for me.

In all honesty, since I’ve become Catholic I find that I don’t need to go anywhere else. I feel I have everything I need in the Catholic Church. I think that for many people, once they become Catholic, things change, and the way they viewed things before change.

 

[newby]

Dear mom2three:

I am an Catechist in our RCIA program in our parish and we often have people in just the same situation as you. You indicated that you are just starting RCIA. I might suggest that you go thru the program for at least a few weeks before you tell your family. It will give you time to learn more about the Church and develop a foundation to start to explain why you are being drawn home. It is ok to attend your prevoius church while you are learning about the Catholic Faith. Until you are actually Catholic, you are not obligated to attend Mass, but I would surely recommend it strongly. It may present some confusion to you as you learn the Catholic doctrines and until your knowledge is deeper may cause you doubt about your ultimate conversion. That can make your return home harder.

Most of the people that I have had in RCIA tell their families after they are sure that they will actually come into the Catholic Church. Know that our prayers are with you.

Now after you actually come into the Church, you can attend your old church, but you will find that the urge will dwindle. As you learn more about the Mass and the Faith you will want to spend more and more time in your new home. As said before after you become Catholic, you cannot participate/receive the sacraments of your former church, and you cannot miss Mass on Sundays to attend your former church.

Feel free to contact me privately if you have more questions. Bless you and WELCOMC HOME!!

Newby

 

[valient_Lucy]

My family does know a little bit. They know I’m attending Mass and that I’m taking my children (I used to have them watch the kids when I went to Mass - when I was just exploring it). My boyfriend is a Catholic and I have dropped a few hints here and there. One hint was met with an attack and I ended up just leaving.

Good for you for leaving. And it does sound like you’re off to a good start.

I am terrified to tell my family. I thought of a letter but it would end up being a novel. I’d rather sit and talk with them one issue at a time… I simply don’t know how to break the news to them.

I attend Mass every week and would NOT skip it to go to the other church. I would just do what I do now… both… but I would then be going only on occasion as a guest and to show my family that I am no less a Christian than I was before (and in fact a fuller Christian than before).

I know they won’t disown me but I’ve NEVER been good at giving them news I know they won’t accept well.

I just have no idea how to approach it with them AT ALL!

I think it’s a good idea that you want your family to know that you’re still a Christian. It sounds like you’ve already made a lot of good decisions in terms of dealing with your family.
I won’t say it won’t be hard to tell them, since that would be a lie. Pray. Pray a lot. And I will pray for you.

 

[puzzleannie]

once you are admitted and have accepted full communion with the Catholic Church, you are required to participate in Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation, to receive Eucharist at least once a year during the Easter season (hopefully much more often) and to confess your sins once a year.

If you want to attend other services with your family from time to time there is certainly nothing wrong with that, as long as your first obligation is not neglected, and you are doing it out of respect and consideration for your family on special occassions. If it gives the impression that you consider this form of worship equally valid with Catholic Mass, it would be a problem, and that is what would probably happen if you went every week.

What will be a problem is if you or your children participate in bible study, Sunday school classes, VBS or other teaching sessions. This will give rise to lots of confusion, especially for new Catholics who are still learning the faith, and especially for your children.

there is probably no need to make a grand announcement to your family, if they are not already aware of what you are doing they soon will be and you can deal with questions as they arise.

 

[mom2three]

once you are admitted and have accepted full communion with the Catholic Church, you are required to participate in Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation, to receive Eucharist at least once a year during the Easter season (hopefully much more often) and to confess your sins once a year.

If you want to attend other services with your family from time to time there is certainly nothing wrong with that, as long as your first obligation is not neglected, and you are doing it out of respect and consideration for your family on special occassions. If it gives the impression that you consider this form of worship equally valid with Catholic Mass, it would be a problem, and that is what would probably happen if you went every week.

What will be a problem is if you or your children participate in bible study, Sunday school classes, VBS or other teaching sessions. This will give rise to lots of confusion, especially for new Catholics who are still learning the faith, and especially for your children.

there is probably no need to make a grand announcement to your family, if they are not already aware of what you are doing they soon will be and you can deal with questions as they arise.

I do attend a Bible Study that will begin again in a couple of weeks. I’m going to try to continue going because I don’t want to give a “I’m now better than you” message to the people in the group. We have the study the week before we do it so I’ll be able to carefully go through the questions and perhaps give a Catholic explanation of things when it’s appropriate. I likely won’t tell the group about my decision until I’ve been through RCIA for a couple of months. I may end up finding that it doesn’t work out but I’d like to not abandon the group… and who knows… I may be too excited to wait to tell them. I’m only hoping they won’t reject me or try to “win me back”. If they do try to win me back, I’ll be ready for it and at that point, I likely would not return.

I do agree with what you said regarding the kids. They are also still going to both because they LOVE Sunday School. But I don’t want to add confusion so once they begin religious education, they would only attend Sunday School on the rare occasion we were “visitors”.

This is what makes me realize I have about two weeks to get up the nerve to tell my family… after that point, my lack of attendance will become “suspicious”. :

 

[mom2three]

Does your Catholic Church have a Bible study group which involves some singing?

I attend one which allows my wife to do some of the singing of the old songs which she liked at Calvary Chapel and we study the Bible together, it is almost exactly the same as our old non-denominational service except we now understand that we do this for our enjoyment. That is the appeal of it, it is an emotional enjoyment and feel good aspect that the fellowship brings to you.

This is no substitute to the Mass and is a complement to true worship of God and allows us to chat and relax with our Catholic friends. My wife sings while I enjoy the Mexican food, (I am not much of a singer). I also enjoy discussing the faith and practicing discussing the faith, something we can’t do at Mass.
At Mass we are there to worship God, not to joke around\discuss issues with friends.

There are many parishes with study groups, praise and worship groups, prayer groups and faith sharing groups.

If one does not exist maybe after you are in the Church and spend a little time gaining the trust of your pastor you might be able to start one.

In Christ
Scylla

I believe the parish DOES have some kind of group like that but I’d have to wait until I finished RCIA because I can’t be having my kids watched by a sitter that often. The one night a week I get for RCIA is a miracle in and of itself, thanks to my boyfriend! I am definitely planning on looking into this group once I’ve completed RCIA though!

 

[mom2three]

Dear mom2three:

I am an Catechist in our RCIA program in our parish and we often have people in just the same situation as you. You indicated that you are just starting RCIA. I might suggest that you go thru the program for at least a few weeks before you tell your family. It will give you time to learn more about the Church and develop a foundation to start to explain why you are being drawn home. It is ok to attend your prevoius church while you are learning about the Catholic Faith. Until you are actually Catholic, you are not obligated to attend Mass, but I would surely recommend it strongly. It may present some confusion to you as you learn the Catholic doctrines and until your knowledge is deeper may cause you doubt about your ultimate conversion. That can make your return home harder.

Most of the people that I have had in RCIA tell their families after they are sure that they will actually come into the Catholic Church. Know that our prayers are with you.

Now after you actually come into the Church, you can attend your old church, but you will find that the urge will dwindle. As you learn more about the Mass and the Faith you will want to spend more and more time in your new home. As said before after you become Catholic, you cannot participate/receive the sacraments of your former church, and you cannot miss Mass on Sundays to attend your former church.

Feel free to contact me privately if you have more questions. Bless you and WELCOMC HOME!!

Newby

I have been attending Mass regularly and even went the two weeks my boyfriend missed it. I also attended the last holy day of obligation because I feel that since I am already intellectually converted, there is no excuse for me.

The last time I was at a communion service with my family, I did not partake… I thought, “How can I receive something they believe is merely symbolic when I no longer believe that it is?” It was a strange feeling to pass it up because I’ve never passed it up before. Amazingly, my family didn’t seem to notice, because if they had, they would have wondered WHY I didn’t take it!

You mentioned doubt and the confusion that doing both could cause. I believe that doubt will creep up and HAS… but I believe that it’s a healthy part of the process for me. Every time I have doubted, the same things come to mind and turn me right back toward Catholicism (namely: John 6, James 2, Matthew 16:13-19). I know that if I do not embrace Catholicism, I can be nothing more than agnostic… and that is simply not an option. When I have doubts and I examine them, it brings me into a deeper understanding of Catholicism and since I know exactly what Protestantism is all about, I can clearly see (for the most part) what the similarities and differences are. When I sit in my non-denom services, I’m constantly listening for contradictions to Catholic teaching.

 

[RCCDefender]

I am terrified to tell my family.** I thought of a letter but it would end up being a novel.** I’d rather sit and talk with them one issue at a time… I simply don’t know how to break the news to them.

Actually you would be right in line with David Currie (someone might need to correct me on this, but I think that’s his name). He began writing a letter to explain why he was converting and the end product was the book Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic!

I think I read on a thread somewhere about someone saying to just bring topics into the conversation really nonchalantly. Say if the pastor was talking that day on a certain subject, you could bring it up later saying, “That was interesting what Pastor Bob thought about yada, yada today. Do you know that the Catholics teach this about yada yada?” Of course the post I originally saw this on explained it much better…

God bless you in your journey! I look forward to visiting your site!

 

[mom2three]

Actually you would be right in line with David Currie (someone might need to correct me on this, but I think that’s his name). He began writing a letter to explain why he was converting and the end product was the book Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic!

I think I read on a thread somewhere about someone saying to just bring topics into the conversation really nonchalantly. Say if the pastor was talking that day on a certain subject, you could bring it up later saying, “That was interesting what Pastor Bob thought about yada, yada today. Do you know that the Catholics teach this about yada yada?” Of course the post I originally saw this on explained it much better…

God bless you in your journey! I look forward to visiting your site!

Oh! I just finished that book! (You got the name right!) It was a great book… but I don’t think I have it in me to write that much!!!

I actually (and jokingly) considered writing and email and saying, “Mom and Dad, I have something to tell you… Please click on this link to my website.”

Of course, I really don’t think it would be an appropriate way to tell them… more like the “chicken” way!

 

[RCCDefender]

Oh! I just finished that book! (You got the name right!) It was a great book… but I don’t think I have it in me to write that much!!!

I actually (and jokingly) considered writing and email and saying, “Mom and Dad, I have something to tell you… Please click on this link to my website.”

Of course, I really don’t think it would be an appropriate way to tell them… more like the “chicken” way!

Hey, better than my way. I was so chicken that as far as I know, my dad didn’t know I was Catholic 'til I gave him the address of the parish I got married in!!