From your experence why does NFP feel better than contraception?

[manualman]

The assumption at the base of contraception is that sex and babies are only accidentally linked by one of God’s goofs in designing human physiology. Through the use of contraceptive devices, we can fix that and enjoy sex without even thinking about babies.

NFP doesn’t permit that. Sex forever remains tangled up with baby-making. The very method never lets you forget that and makes you face up to your allegedly serious reason for not having more children every month. So much hassle and who wants to think about having more babies anyways?

(Those who know me already see the tongue in cheek above. This note is for those who don’t know me!)

 

[Cara_Serrano]

Please don’t take this as me picking on you…I just want to understand better and bring some things to light that other couples in your situation may be experiencing…things that might not be as easy to see.

If your marriage could not have survived abstinence, are you sure there may not be other issues there that may have contributed? What I mean is, if a couple relies solely on intercourse to be the glue that holds them together, then God is not as much a part of the picture as He should be. If God is as big a part of the picture as He should be, then a couple should be able to sustain their marriage even through long periods of abstinence (although it would certainly be tough, in my opinion, and require alot of prayer and open communication).

When I see a statement that says a marriage could not survive if abstinence were practiced for a lengthy period (like in the example I gave above about the days/Phases for continence) or even with total abstinence, it suggestst to me that the couple’s relationship was more weighted to the physical side, leaving the spiritual/emotional sides unbalanced.

Read carefully. I said that I would have practiced “total” abstinence (ie, no sex ever until menopause) to avoid a miscarriage, but my husband wouldn’t agree (since that was about 20 years away at the time!) I’m guessing that would be a trial for even the best NFP marriage, and does not necessarily mean the marriage is “spiritually or emotionally unbalanced”.

 

[Bookcat]

blog.archny.org/?p=1473 Good article by Archbishop and head of USCCB

 

[ahs]

Read carefully. I said that I would have practiced “total” abstinence (ie, no sex ever until menopause) to avoid a miscarriage, but my husband wouldn’t agree (since that was about 20 years away at the time!) I’m guessing that would be a trial for even the best NFP marriage, and does not necessarily mean the marriage is “spiritually or emotionally unbalanced”.

Right, I get that. (And I also understand that this is no longer any issue for you. I’m trying to connect with other couples who currently have this problem that you once had.)

What I’m getting at is that you would have been willing to abstain totally unitl menopause…even if that meant 20 years. Yet your husband could not (for whatever reason…I won’t pretend that I could have been any different).

So let’s apply that to some other couple, a hypothetical couple who may be going through this very problem right now. They have already been married, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health”, they are 1 flesh.

If they were to abstain, using NFP to chart fertility, there would be days outside of Phase I and after Peak+4-6 where they could have sex. Let’s say this couple has difficulties due to spotting and other signs that make the chart difficult to determine, resulting in the possibility of having to abstain months at a time, only to share the marital embrace once or twice in 3-4 months…maybe even longer.

During all that abstinence, the marriage gets strained, the couple begins to feel an absence of the physical love that they want to share with each other. This also puts stress on tehir emotions and their spirituality and faith life. However, their emotional and spriritual bond adn Faith in God, if all that is in proportion to their physical bond, should be enough that they are able to bear this heavy cross in life and still share love with one another in ways other than sex. God will never give us more than we can handle, not without offering us what we need to handle it.

The couple may suffer, may have to abstain for years at a time if the circumstances are grave enough, but they still have an unbreakable bond with one another and they can rely on God to see them through as they carry a tremendous cross through life.

 

[Blacksword]

Right, I get that. (And I also understand that this is no longer any issue for you. I’m trying to connect with other couples who currently have this problem that you once had.)

What I’m getting at is that you would have been willing to abstain totally unitl menopause…even if that meant 20 years. Yet your husband could not (for whatever reason…I won’t pretend that I could have been any different).

So let’s apply that to some other couple, a hypothetical couple who may be going through this very problem right now. They have already been married, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health”, they are 1 flesh.

If they were to abstain, using NFP to chart fertility, there would be days outside of Phase I and after Peak+4-6 where they could have sex. Let’s say this couple has difficulties due to spotting and other signs that make the chart difficult to determine, resulting in the possibility of having to abstain months at a time, only to share the marital embrace once or twice in 3-4 months…maybe even longer.

During all that abstinence, the marriage gets strained, the couple begins to feel an absence of the physical love that they want to share with each other. This also puts stress on tehir emotions and their spirituality and faith life. However, their emotional and spriritual bond adn Faith in God, if all that is in proportion to their physical bond, should be enough that they are able to bear this heavy cross in life and still share love with one another in ways other than sex. God will never give us more than we can handle, not without offering us what we need to handle it.

The couple may suffer, may have to abstain for years at a time if the circumstances are grave enough, but they still have an unbreakable bond with one another and they can rely on God to see them through as they carry a tremendous cross through life.

Pffft! I’m sorry but this is where things get ridiculous. NFP’ers adamantly maintain that it it great and WILL work great for everyone. Then when confronted with undeniable reality that it does NOT, they say “well why not just live in a sexless marriage for 20-30 years?”. If someone wished to elect to remain chaste essentially for LIFE, they’d join the clergy or become a nun! That’s an intolerable “solution” and I think we all (at least those who have even a memory of a libido) know it.

 

[ahs]

Pffft! I’m sorry but this is where things get ridiculous. NFP’ers adamantly maintain that it it great and WILL work great for everyone. Then when confronted with undeniable reality that it does NOT, they say “well why not just live in a sexless marriage for 20-30 years?”. If someone wished to elect to remain chaste essentially for LIFE, they’d join the clergy or become a nun! That’s an intolerable “solution” and I think we all (at least those who have even a memory of a libido) know it.

Then what are their options? They are already married when this comes to light, so becoming a nun or clegy is not an option. You can’t recommend contraception because that is a mortal sin. The only other option, then, is abstinence. NFP can help them find SOME days where they could enjoy the marital embrace.

It is a heavy buden to bear in that marriage, I understand that. But you can’t try to make things easier on the marriage by condoning a mortal sin. You place a sexual act above salvation. And there are still other ways a married couple can express their love for one another besides through sexual intercourse.

 

[ahs]

*497. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

1. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.*

-Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI

 

[Calliso]

Pffft! I’m sorry but this is where things get ridiculous. NFP’ers adamantly maintain that it it great and WILL work great for everyone. Then when confronted with undeniable reality that it does NOT, they say “well why not just live in a sexless marriage for 20-30 years?”. If someone wished to elect to remain chaste essentially for LIFE, they’d join the clergy or become a nun! That’s an intolerable “solution” and I think we all (at least those who have even a memory of a libido) know it.

Exactly and I could understand maybe if it was just a few years though from personal experience even that is a great challenge. But when you’re two healthy married adults who are physically capable of having sex then expecting them to go decades completely without sex is not reasonable. I do understand that there are some very extreme and rare situations where one or more of the couple is just incapable but I donlt think that is quite the same thing.
Of course the problem here isn;t just that these people donlt even have the choice to use a condom, or anything else but NFP and chances and for some couples NFP just doesn;t work, but the sexual teachings of the Church in general. Not being able to have vaginal intercourse, but not allowed to do anything else kinda makes it rather hard when one needs to avoid pregnancy.

But really the fact is many marriages will fall apart or become the people in it will become little more then roomates with abstainance periods that long. It really messes things up. And to be honest for many couples there is really nothing they can do to really get over that. Nothing to make up for the loss of one of the most important bonding tools in marriage.

 

[LaSainte]

I think the primary difference between those couples who would be willing to abstain for 20 years and those who would not is that those who would be willing actually BELIEVE that any form of contraceptive sex will send a person to hell. Those who wouldn’t be abstinent for 20+ years were probably just covering their bases by practicing NFP in the first place. I know this because that’s exactly what I’m doing, trying to use NFP out of fear but not really believing in it.

Nobody just says,“Sure, I’m willing to go to hell for this.”. If that were the case, they would probably be doing all sorts of depraved things as well and wouldn’t even be Catholic. They certainly wouldn’t be going to church and saying their prayers and not eating meat on Fridays.

It comes down to the fact that in their hearts, the teaching doesn’t make sense and doesn’t ring true and they do not feel that it is a mortal sin in the first place, especially under such circumstances.

 

[ahs]

It comes down to the fact that in their hearts, the teaching doesn’t make sense and doesn’t ring true and they do not feel that it is a mortal sin in the first place, especially under such circumstances.

None the less, even if it doesn’t make sense, and even if they don’t feel in their hearts that it is a mortal sin, contraception is still a mortal sin. It isn’t up to us to make that call, the Church has made that call:

1. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

1. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.

-*Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI *

 

[LaSainte]

None the less, even if it doesn’t make sense, and even if they don’t feel in their hearts that it is a mortal sin, contraception is still a mortal sin. It isn’t up to us to make that call, the Church has made that call:

1. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

1. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.

-*Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI *

Actually, it’s up to God to make that call, and if you have a person who doesn’t think that the teaching on contraception is a mandate from God, then that person will have a much harder time adhering to NFP, especially if it doesn’t work for them or they have health issues that require years and years of complete abstinence.

 

[ahs]

Actually, it’s up to God to make that call, and if you have a person who doesn’t think that the teaching on contraception is a mandate from God, then that person will have a much harder time adhering to NFP, especially if it doesn’t work for them or they have health issues that require years and years of complete abstinence.

Right, God DID make that call, via His Church to whom He gave Authority to make that call.

Whether NFP works for some or not is not the issue, the issue is that many are falling on contrception, which is a grave sin. We’ve posted pages and pages of what the Church teaches on this and why it teaches it and why it has Authority from God to teach it.

What else do you suggest be done? Do we just allow people to continue in their sin, pretending it is okay because they “feel” that it’s okay, even though the Church to whom they claim to be a part of has said they cannot rely on a poorly formed conscience to come to their faulty conclusion? Is it okay to just let them be…knowing that their actions are contrary to Church teaching?

 

[sacredcello]

Nobody just says,“Sure, I’m willing to go to hell for this.”. If that were the case, they would probably be doing all sorts of depraved things as well and wouldn’t even be Catholic. They certainly wouldn’t be going to church and saying their prayers and not eating meat on Fridays.

It comes down to the fact that in their hearts, the teaching doesn’t make sense and doesn’t ring true and they do not feel that it is a mortal sin in the first place, especially under such circumstances.

There are quite a number of folks who go to Mass and say their prayers, but who have rejected sound doctrine on morality. They might not be saying the words “Sure, I’m willing to go to hell for this”, but they are doing so with their lifestyle choices (although in some, perhaps many cases their consciences are not well formed, so they are not culpable). Nevertheless, God, Himself has given us an assurance of truth, throughout the ages, that Holy Mother Church, the Bride of Christ is our Mother.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel in your heart that homosexual acts, contraception, masturbation, abortion, sterilization, euthanasia, etc. are immoral. The natural law is there for anyone of good will, regardless of religion, to know. And, the Magisterium of the Catholic Church instructs the faithful and the whole world how to properly interpret the natural law. It is not just for Catholics.

 

[Brav3N3wWorld]

Sorry, I’ve only been able to read half this thread, but I think it’s a good time to jump in with my story.

To answer the OP’s question: NFP has not helped our marriage “feel better.” And as others have pointed out, NFP caused great strain on our marriage. It was a lot of pressure to perform–pressure to read more “safe” days into the chart; pressure to have marital relations “while the gettin’ was good;” etc. NFP felt like a third party in our sex life—the chart “god” hanging above our heads.

To make matters worse, my philosopher husband pointed out all the logical flaws in HV and how the reasoning simply does not make sense. We read Catholic Answers, Catholic blogs, Christopher West, Theology of the Body. We wanted HV to make sense. We wanted to know that all the stress was not in vain. (I won’t go into specific details here because I don’t want to cause scandal, and I noticed that others have already brought up our similar philosophical objections but had them dismissed.)

We no longer practice NFP.

But we do not practice ABC, either.

Nor are we “Catholic and careless.”

We are simply abstinent. We are young (25 and 26), have been married for 4 years, and have 2 kids under the age of 3. We misinterpreted my fertility signs with NFP, resulting in baby number 1 and simply got careless with NFP with baby 2. I cannot trust NFP to keep me from getting pregnant, as we are both apparently highly fertile. Hubby lost his job midway through my pregnancy with baby 2, and if it weren’t for his parents, all 4 of us would be living on the streets right now. We are trying to get on our feet again. Children have already derailed our original plans, as we had to drop out of grad school to provide for them. I don’t want anymore surprises, or the possibility of another major life-derailment, if I can avoid such things.

So we practice abstinence. We don’t agree with the Church’s teaching of NFP, but we ultimately submit to Her wisdom–that contraception is a grave evil. At the same time we have ZERO faith in the effectiveness of NFP, to prevent pregnancy, and also to provide the “marital closeness” advertised in our Couple to Couple League Class. Heck, we feel more close now that charting is completely out of the picture. That DERN chart!

We have been abstinent for 10 months now and plan to keep this up for at least another 4 years, when my husband completes his second degree, hopefully one that will help him provide for our family.

Those who tell couples to “just trust in God” or that “God will provide” when it comes to NFP, generally have not experienced near homelessness after complete life-derailment from unplanned pregnancies. These people consider forgoing eating out and using cloth diapers as huge financial sacrifices. They haven’t lived in the projects, had to feed a family off their last $16, and been kicked out on the streets. Their judgment of those not practicing NFP is privileged and cute.

 

[Observer3]

Brav3N3wWorld -

sorry to hear about your troubles. Your story is a common one. And it’s true, HV doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. We must stay practical and use our heads instead of leaving everything up to chance.

However, this includes your intimacy. Abstinence will only be a short term solution - your marriage won’t be able to stay healthy if you keep this up for an extended time. Unfortunately, you’ve been mislead into believing ABC is evil. It’s no more evil than taking an aspirin for a headache.

Best of luck to you.

x

 

[sacredcello]

To make matters worse, my philosopher husband pointed out all the logical flaws in HV and how the reasoning simply does not make sense. We read Catholic Answers, Catholic blogs, Christopher West, Theology of the Body. We wanted HV to make sense. We wanted to know that all the stress was not in vain. (I won’t go into specific details here because I don’t want to cause scandal, and I noticed that others have already brought up our similar philosophical objections but had them dismissed.)

Wow, your husband sounds identical to mine! Mine has also read HV about 20 times over the years, but still has problems with it. He is a philosophy professor of the analytic sort i.e. lots of Game Theory in his work, etc. The Christopher West book is not good for anyone with a background in philosophy, in my opinion. I wouldn’t recommend it. Anyway, we are an older couple in our forties, just married. Since contraception destroyed my previous marriage, my virgin husband did not want to take the chance of damaging our marriage with ABC. Also, the health risks posed by every form of ABC are not what we want for our lives.

I am sorry that your unexpected blessings have been so challenging. Bless you and your husband for remaining true to your faith.

Incidentally, my DH and I are teachers for CCL. I would be happy to look at your chart if you should wish. I know you said that you aren’t using NFP, but you might wish to continue charting, just to see the patterns in your fertility. If they are truly erratic, that could be a sign of underlying health issues. These can be addressed through diet and nutrition, supplements, etc. I know, I totally get that you are financially stressed right now, so maybe you don’t have $$ to invest in vitamins right now. In any case, the chart provides valuable info about your health as well as your fertility.

Let me know if I can help! I will pray for you and your family.

 

[Brav3N3wWorld]

Wow, your husband sounds identical to mine! Mine has also read HV about 20 times over the years, but still has problems with it. He is a philosophy professor of the analytic sort i.e. lots of Game Theory in his work, etc. The Christopher West book is not good for anyone with a background in philosophy, in my opinion. I wouldn’t recommend it. Anyway, we are an older couple in our forties, just married. Since contraception destroyed my previous marriage, my virgin husband did not want to take the chance of damaging our marriage with ABC. Also, the health risks posed by every form of ABC are not what we want for our lives.

I am sorry that your unexpected blessings have been so challenging. Bless you and your husband for remaining true to your faith.

Incidentally, my DH and I are teachers for CCL. I would be happy to look at your chart if you should wish. I know you said that you aren’t using NFP, but you might wish to continue charting, just to see the patterns in your fertility. If they are truly erratic, that could be a sign of underlying health issues. These can be addressed through diet and nutrition, supplements, etc. I know, I totally get that you are financially stressed right now, so maybe you don’t have $$ to invest in vitamins right now. In any case, the chart provides valuable info about your health as well as your fertility.

Let me know if I can help! I will pray for you and your family.

Thanks Sacredcello,

The issues with my chart were health related…and not. I ovulated late due to being sick, and I thought I had entered the phase 3 “safe zone” because I saw a false temperature spike and false mucus readings (from the cold). This is actually what happened BOTH times. I should have figured it out the second time, but ack! Because of the pressure we felt with NFP, we “went for the prize” as soon as things looked clear. I’m not charting right now because I’m breastfeeding. I’ve taken the home study postpartum class, and know charting can be done while breastfeeding. But those charts were so confusing, and I don’t want the “chart god” there inviting me to have sex with my husband. The chart-god is capricious, and I don’t like him in our marriage.

This is one more reason I don’t want to go back to NFP. I actually wouldn’t mind a moderately large family, if we get in a financial situation where I felt comfortable having another kid. (Incidentally, this would also require having enough money saved up for a homebirth because doctors in my area are very c-section happy.) If or when that day comes, we plan to go the “Catholic and careless” route. Even though NFP is called “natural,” the chart-god felt anything but natural to our sex life.

 

[LaSainte]

Sorry, I’ve only been able to read half this thread, but I think it’s a good time to jump in with my story.

To answer the OP’s question: NFP has not helped our marriage “feel better.” And as others have pointed out, NFP caused great strain on our marriage. It was a lot of pressure to perform–pressure to read more “safe” days into the chart; pressure to have marital relations “while the gettin’ was good;” etc. NFP felt like a third party in our sex life—the chart “god” hanging above our heads.

To make matters worse, my philosopher husband pointed out all the logical flaws in HV and how the reasoning simply does not make sense. We read Catholic Answers, Catholic blogs, Christopher West, Theology of the Body. We wanted HV to make sense. We wanted to know that all the stress was not in vain. (I won’t go into specific details here because I don’t want to cause scandal, and I noticed that others have already brought up our similar philosophical objections but had them dismissed.)

We no longer practice NFP.

But we do not practice ABC, either.

Nor are we “Catholic and careless.”

We are simply abstinent. We are young (25 and 26), have been married for 4 years, and have 2 kids under the age of 3. We misinterpreted my fertility signs with NFP, resulting in baby number 1 and simply got careless with NFP with baby 2. I cannot trust NFP to keep me from getting pregnant, as we are both apparently highly fertile. Hubby lost his job midway through my pregnancy with baby 2, and if it weren’t for his parents, all 4 of us would be living on the streets right now. We are trying to get on our feet again. Children have already derailed our original plans, as we had to drop out of grad school to provide for them. I don’t want anymore surprises, or the possibility of another major life-derailment, if I can avoid such things.

So we practice abstinence. We don’t agree with the Church’s teaching of NFP, but we ultimately submit to Her wisdom–that contraception is a grave evil. At the same time we have ZERO faith in the effectiveness of NFP, to prevent pregnancy, and also to provide the “marital closeness” advertised in our Couple to Couple League Class. Heck, we feel more close now that charting is completely out of the picture. That DERN chart!

We have been abstinent for 10 months now and plan to keep this up for at least another 4 years, when my husband completes his second degree, hopefully one that will help him provide for our family.

Those who tell couples to “just trust in God” or that “God will provide” when it comes to NFP, generally have not experienced near homelessness after complete life-derailment from unplanned pregnancies. These people consider forgoing eating out and using cloth diapers as huge financial sacrifices. They haven’t lived in the projects, had to feed a family off their last $16, and been kicked out on the streets. Their judgment of those not practicing NFP is privileged and cute.

This post makes me sad. A healthy young couple looking at years of abstinence and/or poverty. Ugh.

 

[Debora123]

What else do you suggest be done? ** Do we just allow people to continue in their sin,** pretending it is okay because they “feel” that it’s okay, even though the Church to whom they claim to be a part of has said they cannot rely on a poorly formed conscience to come to their faulty conclusion? Is it okay to just let them be…knowing that their actions are contrary to Church teaching?

Yeah, actually, it is after all, the individual’s choice. You can’t force anything on them. And posting in this way honestly is not going to help at all. It’s only going to push people further away and force them to get defensive. Especially when you get started with the whole Hell thing. So if you truly want to help, don’t do that.

Also, saying things like “they claim to be part of this Church” is, quite frankly a pretty terrible and an extremely SNOBBISH thing to say. Mainly because people can and are still Catholics even if they don’t follow one rule. Heck, even if they don’t follow ANY rule. They are still Catholic.

So my suggestion is this. Give your views once, and do so respectfully and with gentleness, and most of all, do it HUMBLY. Don’t exert frustration, don’t exert hostility, don’t exert disgust. Just gentleness, love, and humility. Then say a prayer for them and leave it at that.

THAT is what you should do. Because what you are doing, and what many others do around here, only makes the problem worse. But honestly, I think you know that.

 

[Debora123]

Sorry, I’ve only been able to read half this thread, but I think it’s a good time to jump in with my story.

To answer the OP’s question: NFP has not helped our marriage “feel better.” And as others have pointed out, NFP caused great strain on our marriage. It was a lot of pressure to perform–pressure to read more “safe” days into the chart; pressure to have marital relations “while the gettin’ was good;” etc. NFP felt like a third party in our sex life—the chart “god” hanging above our heads.

To make matters worse, my philosopher husband pointed out all the logical flaws in HV and how the reasoning simply does not make sense. We read Catholic Answers, Catholic blogs, Christopher West, Theology of the Body. We wanted HV to make sense. We wanted to know that all the stress was not in vain. (I won’t go into specific details here because I don’t want to cause scandal, and I noticed that others have already brought up our similar philosophical objections but had them dismissed.)

We no longer practice NFP.

But we do not practice ABC, either.

Nor are we “Catholic and careless.”

We are simply abstinent. We are young (25 and 26), have been married for 4 years, and have 2 kids under the age of 3. We misinterpreted my fertility signs with NFP, resulting in baby number 1 and simply got careless with NFP with baby 2. I cannot trust NFP to keep me from getting pregnant, as we are both apparently highly fertile. Hubby lost his job midway through my pregnancy with baby 2, and if it weren’t for his parents, all 4 of us would be living on the streets right now. We are trying to get on our feet again. Children have already derailed our original plans, as we had to drop out of grad school to provide for them. I don’t want anymore surprises, or the possibility of another major life-derailment, if I can avoid such things.

So we practice abstinence. We don’t agree with the Church’s teaching of NFP, but we ultimately submit to Her wisdom–that contraception is a grave evil. At the same time we have ZERO faith in the effectiveness of NFP, to prevent pregnancy, and also to provide the “marital closeness” advertised in our Couple to Couple League Class. Heck, we feel more close now that charting is completely out of the picture. That DERN chart!

We have been abstinent for 10 months now and plan to keep this up for at least another 4 years, when my husband completes his second degree, hopefully one that will help him provide for our family.

Those who tell couples to “just trust in God” or that “God will provide” when it comes to NFP, generally have not experienced near homelessness after complete life-derailment from unplanned pregnancies. These people consider forgoing eating out and using cloth diapers as huge financial sacrifices. They haven’t lived in the projects, had to feed a family off their last $16, and been kicked out on the streets. Their judgment of those not practicing NFP is privileged and cute.

This is terrible and I don’t envy your situation at all. But unfortunately, it is a reality for many many people. Something the NFP promoters don’t warn you about, and almost lie about. (At least that’s what it feels like - like I was lied to.)

I wish you the best of luck in your journey through this devastating obstacle. and I will pray for you and your marriage.