Frustrated with myself, especially about masturbation; how can I turn my life around?

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Hello,

I am unable to post very often, but I am going through some terribly rough times. I have fallen back into the sin of masturbation after going ten months without it last year. Recently, I have been fairly depressed with decreased motivation, and worst of all I been praying very little although I prayed profusely in the not too distant past. I hung an image of Jesus in my bathroom, but I still sinned today. I feel that I have little direction in my life as I am almost through my junior year of high school, although I plan to enter RCIA in the fall. I really thought I was free of masturbation for good last year, but now I find myself in a deep hole. I feel very ashamed and weak. I feel like the entire year is ruined.

Any advice would be welcome.

Nathan
 
Hello,

I am unable to post very often, but I am going through some terribly rough times. I have fallen back into the sin of masturbation after going ten months without it last year. Recently, I have been fairly depressed with decreased motivation, and worst of all I been praying very little although I prayed profusely in the not too distant past. I hung an image of Jesus in my bathroom, but I still sinned today. I feel that I have little direction in my life as I am almost through my junior year of high school, although I plan to enter RCIA in the fall. I really thought I was free of masturbation for good last year, but now I find myself in a deep hole. I feel very ashamed and weak. I feel like the entire year is ruined.

Any advice would be welcome.

Nathan
Don’t be too hard on yourself and know that Jesus knows the difficulty you’re going through.

I’m convinced that masturbation is driven by hormones more than anything else.

Keep in mind that Christianity isn’t about those who have the strongest will power get to go to heaven while those who fail go to hell.

Christianity is about God’s mercy through Jesus Christ, who loves us regardless of our failures.

Just keep turning to God and ask for forgiveness and the spiritual strength to get you through it.

Jim
 
Please don’t be so tough on yourself. It is hormones, but most importantly I have read that to be so hard on oneself after sinning and prolonging the self admonishment is to play into the hands of the adversary. Satan would like nothing better than for you to drag yourself through the mud for a prolonged period and weaken yourself. Stop it. You have punished yourself enough.

Confess it, and go back to being a happy Christian teenager. From this point forward if you want to do more penance, pray the rosary, read the Bible. Then take your mind off of this for a while. You are doing a lot better than you think you are.

Be good to yourself ok?
 
Hello,

I am unable to post very often, but I am going through some terribly rough times. I have fallen back into the sin of masturbation after going ten months without it last year. Recently, I have been fairly depressed with decreased motivation, and worst of all I been praying very little although I prayed profusely in the not too distant past. I hung an image of Jesus in my bathroom, but I still sinned today. I feel that I have little direction in my life as I am almost through my junior year of high school, although I plan to enter RCIA in the fall. I really thought I was free of masturbation for good last year, but now I find myself in a deep hole. I feel very ashamed and weak. I feel like the entire year is ruined.

Any advice would be welcome.

Nathan
You’re never a failure until you stop trying. This is true for you. And it’s true for me. I went 10 1/2 months without drinking only to backslide a couple months ago. Right now I’m at 1 1/2 months in the clear. So buddy. I know exactly what you mean. But don’t beat yourself up. Just face facts as they are.

You’re like a figure skater. And you just slipped and fell after skating perfectly for 10 months. Back up and on the rink is a must. Keep the goal in site. You can slip and fall. But as long as you keep trying you’re bound to get better and better.

Don’t despair.

One thing that helps sometimes is to give yourself a 2nd focus. One that’s tied in close to your want to use (drugs or yourself it’s all the same). Get yourself a folder of pictures of people in pain. In misery. In torment. Maybe because of war. Or because of injury. Or starvation. Or sickness.

When you are just starting to crave you grab that file first. You force yourself to study those pictures. And you use your pent up energy to pray for them instead. You do that on a regular and you train yourself to move away from your pull.

Good luck buddy. PM me if you ever need to talk. I totally understand.

Peace.

-Trident
 
Hello,

I am unable to post very often, but I am going through some terribly rough times. I have fallen back into the sin of masturbation after going ten months without it last year. Recently, I have been fairly depressed with decreased motivation, and worst of all I been praying very little although I prayed profusely in the not too distant past. I hung an image of Jesus in my bathroom, but I still sinned today. I feel that I have little direction in my life as I am almost through my junior year of high school, although I plan to enter RCIA in the fall. I really thought I was free of masturbation for good last year, but now I find myself in a deep hole. I feel very ashamed and weak. I feel like the entire year is ruined. Any advice would be welcome. Nathan
I suggest you fast for 24 hours as soon as you are sorry for your sin. Don’t take a vowel but make it your own act of reparation.
 
Pray the rosary unceasingly. Guard your thoughts. Mortify your eyes even on beautiful things or places since small sacrifices are building blocks of your discipline.

Remember removing masturbation can take for years even more than a decade, so prepare for a long battle and don’t stop praying.
 
There are many people who do not even resist. Your ten months can be restored by confession. Your ten months are evidence of firm purpose. You have a great hope that grace will see you to your desired end. Take up your cross, and say Jesus I trust in You. Say it often, and trust in Him.

Prayers for you in your journey.

Peace
 
Here is a bit of advice. Focus on your objective rather than your expectations. You wish to be nearly perfect, and this is good, but bear in mind that perfection is unattainable in this life. We fail. We fall. Just get back up and keep moving toward your objective. It sounds like you are doing a great job. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His mercy endures forever.

Also think about Jesus, the Good Shepherd. This Sunday, the Gospel will be about the Good Shepherd. Hear his voice and follow him. He watches over us, provides what we need, and protects us from evil. When you wander off, he searches, and when you come back he rejoices. Give thanks and praise to God!
 
Turn the impure thoughts/words/deeds/actions etc into a prayer e.g eternal father i offer you my impure thought/words/deeds/actions ( state what it is ) i beg you to purify it with the precious blood of jesus and place it in jesus rays of divine mercy,

Eternal father i am sorry for my impure thought/words/deeds/actions, please take my impure thought/words/deeds/actions and unite it to all the masses being said this day throughout the world,

Firstly, …for myself and for others throughout the world who struggle with impure thoughts/words/deeds /actions to be healed of this affliction,

Secondly…For priests, clergy, religious and missionaries who are tempted by impure thoughts/words/deeds/actions to be granted the grace to stay faithfull at all times to their vows

Thirdly for graces, blessings, cures and healings, answered prayers, miracles, heavenly favours, peace, forgiveness, mercy and conversion to be poured down upon everybody in the world,

Fourthly for an increase in vocations to the priesthood, religious life and missionary life in every country in the world,

And fifth for relief and deliverance for the holy souls in purgatory, and a happy holy and peaceful death and happy and merciful judgement after death for all the dying people in the world

Amen

Try praying this prayer…and offer your struggle and cross to Jesus
 
Hello,

I am unable to post very often, but I am going through some terribly rough times. I have fallen back into the sin of masturbation after going ten months without it last year. Recently, I have been fairly depressed with decreased motivation, and worst of all I been praying very little although I prayed profusely in the not too distant past. I hung an image of Jesus in my bathroom, but I still sinned today. I feel that I have little direction in my life as I am almost through my junior year of high school, although I plan to enter RCIA in the fall. I really thought I was free of masturbation for good last year, but now I find myself in a deep hole. I feel very ashamed and weak. I feel like the entire year is ruined.

Any advice would be welcome.

Nathan
God bless you in your struggle, Nathan.

We cannot banish the darkness by struggling against it, we must turn on the Light. Go back to what was working before - pray, read scripture, and seek God’s plan for your life. Your birthright is peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Seek first the Kingdom, and all else will be added to you.
 
The most important thing with every aspect of your life is to keep praying – God will guide you to whatever direction your life needs to go in.

It is frustrating that we keep sinning no matter how hard we try – but it’s like God watches us like like small children learning to walk, we crawl, stumble, and…we keep getting up. God loves us unceasingly. We keep learning, we keep walking.

Be patient with yourself. Growing in faith and holiness doesn’t happen overnight – it is truly a life long process.

❤️
 
Hi there,

overcoming any serious sinful habit/impulse can be truly devastating - so it is important to remember not to beat yourself up. Saints are merely sinners who never gave up.

This is part of the journey and it is part of the growth - obviously you are well to avoid sin at all costs and remain free from sin. But, we are so weak that we fall often. Each occasion of serious sin can be looked at from two perspectives: the first and easiest is a total failure and feeling of despair and unworthiness, the second is an opportunity to bring a new weakness to light and grow spiritually. The second is how I view sin when it happens - and i examine the conditions that led to it, my mental state, my communion with God, and then I jot down my thoughts to try to form a new habit to keep from that that leads me into sin.

Jesus said in the book of Matthew that some spirits will only come out with prayer and fasting - this is the same for us. In my experience I have found that fasting daily and practicing abstinence from certain things on a regular basis has great merits in taming the urges of the flesh. Notably, here are the three things I cut out of my life to the best of my ability:


  1. *]Coffee - addictive, and I used to hammer 5 - 8 of these a day. Now I limit myself to one, and I thank God for the one coffee I allow myself per day.
    *]Popular Music - in the car i cut out pop music stations entirely to be replaced with non-vocal classical music
    *]Vulgar talk - i used to swear like a sailor. I stopped this past lent.

    You have to make changes in your life to see changes in your behavior. As a Christian these changes include more prayer, reflection, and spiritual exercise. You have to flex your muscles to learn how to use them in battle.

    Most importantly, remember that today is a new day. Go to confession; the sins of yesterday were yesterdays, and today is a new day. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty for past sins, as they are forgiven. It hurts the heart of Jesus when we doubt his mercy. Begin your journey and remember that walls are built one brick at a time, and long trips taken one step at a time.

    Read this blog post:
    catholicgentleman.net/2013/08/st-maximilian-kolbe-on-serious-sin/

    Cheers, and may God bless you.
 
So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 13
 
To defend his purity, Saint Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow, Saint Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, Saint Bernard plunged into an icy pond… You…, what have you done?

Holy purity is given by God when it is asked for with humility.

‘Domine! — Lord — si vis, potes me mundare, — if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.’

What a beautiful prayer for you to say often, with the faith of the poor leper, when there happens to you what God and you and I know! You will not have to wait long to hear the Master’s reply: ‘Volo, mundare! I will: be thou made clean!’
 
I’ve got it too pal
Thanks to some great people on this app I see the hope that was always there in God’s open hand for me to have
From I’ve heard and you’ve probably heard before
One day at a time
Find the sources of you’re temptations
Avoid boredom and other close ties to sin

I know it’s hard for someone to completely understand your personal situation
I try to reminds God knows more than I do about how I feel
Try to picture God hugging you or something nice in life and distract yourself

Sometimes I google a picture of Jesus hugging someone and listen to Christian music but sometimes that makes me cry out of shame

I know it feels like a depression and like your mind is out of wack and afterwards you feel awful

That’s why I came here for help and I hope my advice can help
I will send a prayer your way friend I won’t let you walk alone because we are fighting the same battle
 
I’ve got it too pal
Thanks to some great people on this app I see the hope that was always there in God’s open hand for me to have
From I’ve heard and you’ve probably heard before
One day at a time
Find the sources of you’re temptations
Avoid boredom and other close ties to sin

I know it’s hard for someone to completely understand your personal situation
I try to reminds God knows more than I do about how I feel
Try to picture God hugging you or something nice in life and distract yourself

Sometimes I google a picture of Jesus hugging someone and listen to Christian music but sometimes that makes me cry out of shame

I know it feels like a depression and like your mind is out of wack and afterwards you feel awful

That’s why I came here for help and I hope my advice can help
I will send a prayer your way friend I won’t let you walk alone because we are fighting the same battle
These are good recommendations. It does help to treat it as an addiction, because it can become a compulsive trap.

Shame is one of the greatest wounds that God provided the Sacrament of Reconciliation to heal us. This is one of the graces of confession. It is good for us to remember that none of us are worthy of Him, and that while we were yet sinners, He died for us.

Spiritual disciplines need to replace the near occasions of sin, so one must work hard to choose activities that will reduce temptation and exposure to temptation. Sometimes it seems like swimming up a waterfall, but God is merciful, and His grace is sufficient. We just need to fight the good fight.
 
These are good recommendations. It does help to treat it as an addiction, because it can become a compulsive trap.

Shame is one of the greatest wounds that God provided the Sacrament of Reconciliation to heal us. This is one of the graces of confession. It is good for us to remember that none of us are worthy of Him, and that while we were yet sinners, He died for us.

Spiritual disciplines need to replace the near occasions of sin, so one must work hard to choose activities that will reduce temptation and exposure to temptation. Sometimes it seems like swimming up a waterfall, but God is merciful, and His grace is sufficient. We just need to fight the good fight.
I agree
I pray my brain can always take right minded and that the saints will join my to fight temptation away
Confession is wonderful sacramental that I feel is way to neglected by Catholics
I have a awkward situation explained in my threads of as to why I haven’t gone yet

My shake for these sins has helped make me a better Catholic than i ever would have been
Sin broke my heart and God is fixing it
 
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