Frustrated

[heathernoel]

I am in RCIA, and have been for over a year. My only hangup is that my husband needs to start submitting paperwork to the Tribunal concerning a previous marriage. He was a Cradle Catholic returning to the church.

Our children have been in Catholic school since they started. We have one finishing up 3rd, and the second is in Kindergarten. The tuition costs for parishoners in increasing to $12000 for 2 kids. We can’t afford that.

We have had a hard financial year. My entire after tax income goes to the church to pay for child care at the Church and for school there. Because of that, we stayed behind, and tithing was behind. Now we are being told that if we were to stay in the school, we wouldn’t qualify for ‘partners in the mission’ discount ($900) for tuition. I am insulted in a way. How much more of a partner can I be with $23k of my income going to the church???

I am SO saddened to have to take the kids out. We genuinely want a Catholic education for our children. It’s frustrating to know that we aren’t good enough for the school, kwim? My kids are excelling…my 3rd grader is in the 95th percentile for Reading!!!

 

[kage_ar]

Can you schedule a sit down meeting with your Priest re this?

OTOH, I know that Catholic School has become far too expensive for many many people. I cannot fathom spending 23 K per year on school.

Prayers for you.

(My son has always been in public school, and he is a good strong smart Catholic young man).

 

[YADA]

Hello,

Please do not be insulted by the offer of the $900. Have you explored other options? I am not sure exactly how your parish school is funded and operated.

In my diocese, the Archbishop’s Appeal helps fund tuition assiatance [scholarships] for K-12 students in Catholic schools. You need to apply and this is the time of year to apply for next year [it is based upon income]. A good reason to suppport the Archbishop though only about 1/3 of registered families do … Even a small gift [if multiplied] makes a difference!

Our parish school has an Endowment fund that pprovides school funding support [that helps keep tuition costs down] and also provides tuition assistance to families in finacial need [based upon the same finacial application used by the diocese]. The School Parents Association also provides school support and sponsors fundraising.

The school receives about 18% of its operating funds from thechruch offeratory.

The school parents do many fundraising activities, selling script to local stores, the Annual Silent/Oral Auctions, selling poinsettas at Christmas TIme, A Jog-a-thon, Endowment dinners, etc.

Also, usually in the fall the parish at large is provided the opportunity to subsidize tuition [they can pledge a years tuition costs, a month a week] Another local school lets people pay the cost of one hours intruction time - pretty creative

Our local Knights of Columbus offers high school scolarships

Please seek ways to find tuition assistance and also look for creative ways to keep costs down and support your local parish school by purchasing script, attending a fundraiser, etc.

Also, write your legislators and Congress to pass laws that would assist parents in school choice [vouchers, tax deductablity of tuition, etc] If we make our voices heard … School choice will become available for all children not just those whose parents are wealthy enough to fund a "private’ school education.

In the mean time we need to work to make catholic school education affordble in creative ways …

 

[heathernoel]

I appreciate your posts. I do need to sit down with the Father, because I don’t want to believe that a Catholic education can be denied to us just because we aren’t a low income family. I am a teacher (kids in middle school with moderate to severe autism) and my husband is self employed…but it’s still a huge amount when you consider that we help to care for my father and pay for cancer bills from Mom’s treatment (r.i.p.).

Anyway, I don’t know if I just needed to vent or get a shot in the arm, but you are helping.

The girls will go to an excellent public school, and they are excited, except the idea that they won’t go to Mass on Wednesdays as a school is shocking to them. I can’t take them to daily Mass because of conflicting schedules. I want to nourish their desire to go to Mass, kwim?

God bless you!

 

[YADA]

School issues aside the other part of your post about the annullment …

I assume you were not married previously but your husband was and therefore your current marriage is not blessed. You are in RCIA [seeking to become catholic]. I understand your angst … please encourage your husband to begin the process … Have you discussed what you will do if the decree is not granted …

I have the feeling that there are lots of issues and circumstances that are stressors on your family right now and the school issue is just one but is looming large …

Please schedule a meeting with yor parish priest do get insight and assistance … Caring for elderly parents is hard * Annulments are hard perhaps even “scary” [This too I know first hand] … Tuition costs *.

Self employed [yep, this on too]. Income that can go up and down from one year [heck from month to month!]. Insurance, taxes …

Hopefully your parish can help direct you to resources with your elderly parents [even with finding charitable and/or government assistance on cancer treatement payments and household help].

Sadly the annullment paperwork must begin with your husband. No one can initiate it without him. You and your parish priest can instruct him on the “good” to your family if your marriage can be normalized … A unified family strengthened by the Sacraments can handle stress much better becuase they are nourished by special Graces that flow .

I will pray for your family … take heart in God’s loving care …**

 

[jrabs]

I appreciate your posts. I do need to sit down with the Father, because I don’t want to believe that a Catholic education can be denied to us just because we aren’t a low income family. I am a teacher (kids in middle school with moderate to severe autism) and my husband is self employed…but it’s still a huge amount when you consider that we help to care for my father and pay for cancer bills from Mom’s treatment (r.i.p.).

Anyway, I don’t know if I just needed to vent or get a shot in the arm, but you are helping.

The girls will go to an excellent public school, and they are excited, except the idea that they won’t go to Mass on Wednesdays as a school is shocking to them. I can’t take them to daily Mass because of conflicting schedules. I want to nourish their desire to go to Mass, kwim?

God bless you!

Well, don’t stress about your position until after you have discussed it with your priest. He may be able to ease your mind significantly.

If you are pressed into sending your children to public schools, like you suggest above, do not be disheartened.
Just take responsibility for the Catholic education at home. You can do it and I bet you can do a great job.

If you want to nourish their desire for mass, then take them to Sat morning mass somewhere near you. Or take them to Adoration somewhere near you. Sign up for an hour spot to do as a family.

That is a wonderful devotion.

Can’t do that? Do an evening rosary as a family. There are so many wonderful things to nurture their faith.

My sons are in public school and I have just adapted other things into our lives to teach them faith. It is MY job first before the school system.

 

[mschrank]

We have had a hard financial year. My entire after tax income goes to the church to pay for child care at the Church and for school there.

Why not become a stay at home mom?

I never really understood why some women would rather work, and have all their income go to paying for the kids needs- instead of actually staying home and raising them.

This is surprisingly common.