Fundamentalist Urban Legends

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JustaServant said:
The comment on another thread about Martin Luther got me to think about all the “Urban Legends” those of us who went to fundamentalist churches used to hear.

Like the one about the Russians who put a microphone in the center of the Earth and heard screams in Hell.

Or a rare red heifer born in Israel; the kind needed to sacrifice for the rebuilt Temple.

There was once a scientist who finds the “universe’s lost time” in the Bible’s accounts of Joshua and Hezekiah and becomes a Christian.

Now its your turn…
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The Vatican has a computer with all of the Protestants in the world on it to make future persecutions easier. :rolleyes:
 
mt_gooseberry said:
Oh, my mom goes crazy over all of those “miraculous” cloud pictures that get circulated through e-mail and facebook! It is sooo obvious they are fake, but she passes them on faithfully.

But then you get all of these Virgin Mary on burnt toast miracles among the Catholics! Protestants don’t have a monopoly on being gullible! 😛
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So in your opnion, is it a sin for me to buy that Virgin toast-maker I’ve had my eye on? I’ve always wanted to make my own assinine miracle…
 
Cat said:
The main fundamentalist UL that my husband and I were aware of as Protestants is that the Vatican keeps records of everyone born in the world. This enables the Vatican to “make people disappear” or “adjust their minds” when necessary in order to protect the “interests” of the Catholic Church.
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I know, huh? I love how the Jesuits assassinated Abraham Lincoln too. And we’re about due for a remake of the Maria Monk tales, I’d say.

The greatest thing about these ones is that it never seems to occur to them just how POOR a job the Vatican is doing of using these tools.
 
Cat said:
The main fundamentalist UL that my husband and I were aware of as Protestants is that the Vatican keeps records of everyone born in the world. This enables the Vatican to “make people disappear” or “adjust their minds” when necessary in order to protect the “interests” of the Catholic Church.

Bwoo ha ha! :eek:

I think this UL is familiar to many Protestants, especially fundamentalist, Pentecostal, and evangelical Protestants.
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News to me. I’m no stranger to urban legends, but I’ve never seen that one before.

But then again, I don’t do anything with those chain e-mails.
 
I think some here are confusing this thread with the “Nuttiest Things” thread.
When I speak of an “urban legend” I mean those tales that fundamentalist preachers and teachers spin, whether as an illustration or just plain “did you know”, during thier sermons or teachings. Stories that, when you back track them have absolutely no basis in fact or reality. But is USED to PROVE whatever point they make. It doesn’t have to be about the Catholic Church.
The “screams in Hell” are a good example.
I remember one story told by a preacher that was never verified of a missionary who was visited by an unfriendly tribe who intended to attack their house and burn it down. Supposedly they ran away when they saw the camp was completely surrounded by men in shining garments with swords.
I’ve used to hear this story more than once in fundy churches.
 
JustaServant said:
I remember one story told by a preacher that was never verified of a missionary who was visited by an unfriendly tribe who intended to attack their house and burn it down. Supposedly they ran away when they saw the camp was completely surrounded by men in shining garments with swords.
I’ve used to hear this story more than once in fundy churches.
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I’ve heard a variation on this. A friend’s sister attended a fundamentalist church whose pastor told a story about how the Israelis won against the Egyptians in the 1973 Arab-Israeli war. Supposedly, a line of horsemen with ancient-looking armor and swords suddenly appeared before Sadat’s tanks, frightening them into retreat.

I also remember a hippy-type guy in Levelland, TX, who was nevertheless of a fundy family, combining it with his Democratic-leaning politics. When the 1980 election was upcoming, he was going around saying, “Why doesn’t anybody know Ronald Reagan’s middle name?” A little while later, I got back to him and said, "It’s ‘Wilson.’ " Without missing a beat, he said “There, don’t you see? ‘Ronald’ has six letters, ‘Wilson’ has six letters, and ‘Reagan’ has six letters. Six-six-six! That proves he’s a demon!” Another friend, overhearing this, said “He ain’t no **** demon.” I had a hard time keeping a straight face through all this. 🙂
 
colmywaykurtz said:
I’ve heard a variation on this. A friend’s sister attended a fundamentalist church whose pastor told a story about how the Israelis won against the Egyptians in the 1973 Arab-Israeli war. Supposedly, a line of horsemen with ancient-looking armor and swords suddenly appeared before Sadat’s tanks, frightening them into retreat.
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I remember one preacher making the claim that a satellite image of the middle east shows nothing but desert, except for Israel, which is all green.
 
supposedly if you look at the smoke coming out of the WTC, you can see a demon.
 
I remember being told a story about WWII and these mysterious white planes that only the Germans could see that helped the allies to win after Winston Churchill ordered the country to pray to God for help. The pastor was using it to illustrate the faith as small as a mustard seed parable, and that if we had enough faith we could pray for anything and it would happen.
 
What I am about to mention I don’t think is so much an urban legend as it is revisionist history. I used to attend a fundamentalist Baptist church which believed in the whole “Trail of Blood” story. What that is is the belief that there was always a remnant of fundamentalist Christians who remained true to the “true” Gospel from the beginning of the Church all the way until modern times. They believe that the Catholics suppressed this remnant of Christians which was supposedly the “true” Church. They support this claim by claiming that various heresies were the “true” Christians. But the fact is, none of the ancient heresies believed all of the exact same things that modern fundamentalist Baptists believe.
 
maltmom said:
Landing on the moon is an urban legend. It was all faked.

I don’t really believe that…I just had to type something to subscribe to the thread.😃
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My best friend believes that the moon landings were fake.
 
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