Funeral Arrangements

[orgel_maestro]

So my brother passed away unexpectedly at the age of 29, he was a protestant but never really belonged to a particular church, but was baptized southern baptist.

My family is mostly non-religious and are we will be planning the funeral soon. I know, since he is not Catholic, we will not have a catholic funeral mass. I have several questions:

For the wake (vigil), what is the traditional thing to do? I won’t be placing a rosary in his hands, since he is not Catholic. But, I’d like to place a wall crucifix about 10" long there. Should I place it in his hands, or where? What else do we need? Prayer cards? Candles?

For the funeral, can a Catholic priest still do the christian burial without the Mass? I would like to at least have a priest bless the grave site. This makes it difficult since I am the only religious one (roman catholic) in the family, he was Christian, and I live 600 miles away. Although I’m a traditional catholic, I don’t think having a burial service in latin is the best idea since my family isn’t even catholic to begin with. But, I know my brother would appreciate a christian burial.

Thanks for your help.

Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei.

 

[Trishie]

I regret the loss of your brother, and so early in his life.
I will keep his soul, and your family, in my prayers.

It appears that there is not a set ritual other than this for a Baptist funeral or “homecoming”. The person’s life by family, friends and clergy, with sorrow, but with comfort that the person has gone home to God. Songs of faith are sung and God’s word is read. If you believe that no one is likely to know any appropriate hymns, it might be best to have a CD of sacred music playing softly for your brother.

Your family, even if not religious, could have no objections to candles, and if it comforts and blesses you, certainly place a simple cross on your brother’s heart.

If you are closest kin, then you can freely choose how to plan your brother’s funeral, but if others are equally close kin it would be respectful to also consult them or share your plans with them before going ahead.

Perhaps phone your priest to confirm whether a Catholic priest can preside over a simple Christian ceremony in this situation. Your difficulty may also be in not knowing any priests local to your brother’s city.

Perhaps it might serve to contact the funeral home from which your brother may be conveyed, because they may be able to offer a simple Christian ceremony that will be suitable for your family needs.

God bless you. I know this is a difficult thing for a brother, and my heart goes to you…Trishie

 

[Dempsey1919]

I’m sorry to hear of your loss.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
And let the perpetual light shine upon him.
May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in peace.
Amen

I don’t think it would be appropriate, or in fact even possible, to have a Catholic burial. I am sure that you would be able to arrange for a proper Christian burial however. I would advise you to contact your family and see what they have in mind. Your brother may have made his wishes known.

Traditionally, the wake should take place in your brother’s home, with the body and casket present in the main room. However, most people opt to use a Funeral Home instead, although I think it is nicer to have this in his home with the family around. This happens the night before the funeral. Also, you should recite a Rosary for the repose of your brother’s soul during the wake. Since your family is not Catholic, you may want to do this in private.

I would encourage you to have a Mass said for the repose of your brother’s soul.

I think it is a good idea to place a crucifix in the casket.

Also, I would encourage a burial. If possible do not opt for cremation because this goes against traditional Catholic custom and practice.

Once again, I am sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers.

 

[Phemie]

He could certainly have a Catholic Funeral liturgy without Mass. Our pastor celebrated that last week for a member of another church whose wife was Catholic.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

. . .
Also, I would encourage a burial. If possible do not opt for cremation because this goes against traditional Catholic custom and practice.

. . .

While the Church prefers burial, cremation is now allowed; so long as it is not chosen as an anti-Christian statement.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

When the non-Catholic brother of one of our RCIA catechumens was killed in an accident, our pastor conducted a simple funeral service at the funeral home. I think it was probably a Liturgy of the Word, but don’t remember the details now.

 

[Angel_Bradford]

It is possible for the priest to conduct a graveside service for your brother.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[orgel_maestro]

Thank you all for the help and prayers. He was only 29, not married and was afflicted with Schizophrenia. He had very few friends, and the ones that he did have often took advantage of him. His condition worsened and wouldn’t increase his medicine dosage or see a doctor. After 10 years of suffering, the cross was too heavy for him to bear and it is unclear whether he committed suicide or the voices in his head drove him into a rage and was struck by traffic when he ran onto the freeway at 11 in the night.

We have arranged for a christian burial, I strongly opposed cremation, and instead of catholic burial, I will have a traditional requiem mass celebrated for his soul at which I hopefully will have the honor to serve at.

Oh, by the way, after speaking with the funeral director, it seems best not to have a viewing, as the body was severely disfigured and damaged.

Once again, thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei. Amen.

 

[Trishie]

Thank you for sharing about your bother’s life. I find my heart very moved. It must all go very deep with you. I wish to send you a hug. I’ll pray for you and your brother at daily Mass. Trishie