Funeral Eulogies

[HagiaSophia]

What has been the experience of those here with “eulogies”? Positive, negative?

Excerpts From Blessed Sacrament’s Sunday bulletin:
"We specifically request that only one person share the words of remembrance. However, more often than not, two or more persons simply present themselves in the sanctuary after communion - usually with no prior notice to the Church. We have sometimes had up to five people speaking at the end of Mass.

We request that the words of remembrance be brief, no more than three minutes. Instead the speakers often go for fifteen to thirty minutes. The length is usually due to the fact that the speaker(s) is/are ignoring the fact that they should not be giving a eulogy but only share an example or two of the way the deceased lived his/her faith. Many times these extended eulogies are delivered by someone who anticipated that he/she would be able to be composed at the time, but in fact become very emotional and have great difficulty in delivering their words. This situation becomes very uncomfortable for the assembly and often results in more grief for the bereaved at a time in the liturgy when they had been lifted a little beyond grief through the Eucharistic celebration…"

“So generally, the priest has no idea what is going to happen when the person ascends the pulpit. Sometimes the words spoken are not only uncomfortable, but clearly heretical. (I have had to listen to totally pantheistic poems being read from the same pulpit from which the Gospel is proclaimed!) On one occasion a child of the deceased openly proclaimed that he knew that all this “Church stuff” was important to his father, but that he didn?t believe in any of it - especially life after death! On another occasion during this past year, the family of the deceased told us that there would be no words of remembrance. As I was about to begin the final commendation, a relative of the deceased came forward and politely told me to “sit down, because he had a few things to say.” He then went on for over twenty minutes with a detailed chronology of the deceased?s life…”

bssky.org/?page=newsforward&name=bssky.org&article=1931

 

[AltarMan]

HagiaSophia:

What has been the experience of those here with “eulogies”? Positive, negative?

Excerpts From Blessed Sacrament’s Sunday bulletin:
"We specifically request that only one person share the words of remembrance. However, more often than not, two or more persons simply present themselves in the sanctuary after communion - usually with no prior notice to the Church. We have sometimes had up to five people speaking at the end of Mass.

We request that the words of remembrance be brief, no more than three minutes. Instead the speakers often go for fifteen to thirty minutes. The length is usually due to the fact that the speaker(s) is/are ignoring the fact that they should not be giving a eulogy but only share an example or two of the way the deceased lived his/her faith. Many times these extended eulogies are delivered by someone who anticipated that he/she would be able to be composed at the time, but in fact become very emotional and have great difficulty in delivering their words. This situation becomes very uncomfortable for the assembly and often results in more grief for the bereaved at a time in the liturgy when they had been lifted a little beyond grief through the Eucharistic celebration…"

“So generally, the priest has no idea what is going to happen when the person ascends the pulpit. Sometimes the words spoken are not only uncomfortable, but clearly heretical. (I have had to listen to totally pantheistic poems being read from the same pulpit from which the Gospel is proclaimed!) On one occasion a child of the deceased openly proclaimed that he knew that all this “Church stuff” was important to his father, but that he didn?t believe in any of it - especially life after death! On another occasion during this past year, the family of the deceased told us that there would be no words of remembrance. As I was about to begin the final commendation, a relative of the deceased came forward and politely told me to “sit down, because he had a few things to say.” He then went on for over twenty minutes with a detailed chronology of the deceased?s life…”

bssky.org/?page=newsforward&name=bssky.org&article=1931

“Eulogies” have no place at a Requiem Mass. If the family wants one, it should be reserved for the grave-side service following the Mass.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

“Eulogies” have no place at a Requiem Mass. If the family wants one, it should be reserved for the grave-side service following the Mass.

Or at the wake.

 

[SMHW]

Putting aside for the moment the part about eulogies not being appropriate at a Catholic funeral in the first place… these are my observations.

I have noticed that such things as the number of people in attendance matters. The age of the deceased matters. The number of non-Catholics in attendance matters.

I sang at a funeral for a police officer who was killed in the line of duty. There were probably more police officers outside the chuch (due to lack of room) than there were inside. This funeral was as much a state function as it was a Catholic one. Some eulogies were delivered by public officials. The eulogies were too long and but somewhat forgivable given the unusual circumstances.

I attended a funeral for a gentleman well loved by the parish. His son (who had left the Catholic Church for evangelicalism but still believed that we are really Christians) gave one of several long eulogies that would have been very moving except that they got kind of boring after a while.

I’ve been to a number of funerals for children and teens where probably half the people were not Catholic. Some had eulogies. Some didn’t. Eulogies were more common if the family was only nominally Catholic or if the child/family was so involved with the parish that all in attendance felt the need to say something.

I think a majority of people who attend these larger funerals, do not attend the wake/rosary/vigil, and will not be attending a reception afterwards. They expect a eulogy at the funeral.