Funeral Homilies

[JMJ_coder]

Hello,

I was reading a bulletin insert about funeral planning, and it was talking about picking out the readings and the music, and on and on. And it got me thinking:

Could someone write out a homily for the Priest to give at their own funeral?

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I don’t think so. Isn’t the homily supposed to be for the priest to speak his own words regarding the Scripture given–not to read the words of another person (unless he is reading a letter from the bishop or from the Pope that he is directed to read at Mass, that is).

In fact, I don’t believe that eulogies are given at funeral Masses (or should be–I mean, I have heard them from some priests but not from all, or even most, and the reason given me was that they were not supposed to speak particularly of the deceased but in a funeral Mass were to speak generally and in respect to the gospel passages or other Scripture, and not ‘particularly’ of a given individual and his life.) Eulogies of such type were supposed to be reserved either to the wake or after the funeral service.

I think what it comes down to is that Mass is the Mass. The Mass is all about Christ, it is about His sacrifice. It is not about John Jones’ life which we celebrate. (That doesn’t mean that we don’t love John Jones, or that this Mass is not in a way a ‘farewell’ to John. We do, and it is. . .but John is not the source and summit of the Mass, and John does not speak ‘from the grave’ in the priest reading John’s ‘farewell’ in place of a homily.)

However, I do think that one could write out some words --not for the priest to say, of course–that could be given as an insert in the bulletin, or framed above the casket at the wake, and read (outside the funeral Mass).

 

[JMJ_coder]

I don’t think so. Isn’t the homily supposed to be for the priest to speak his own words regarding the Scripture given–not to read the words of another person (unless he is reading a letter from the bishop or from the Pope that he is directed to read at Mass, that is).

In fact, I don’t believe that eulogies are given at funeral Masses (or should be–I mean, I have heard them from some priests but not from all, or even most, and the reason given me was that they were not supposed to speak particularly of the deceased but in a funeral Mass were to speak generally and in respect to the gospel passages or other Scripture, and not ‘particularly’ of a given individual and his life.) Eulogies of such type were supposed to be reserved either to the wake or after the funeral service.

I think what it comes down to is that Mass is the Mass. The Mass is all about Christ, it is about His sacrifice. It is not about John Jones’ life which we celebrate. (That doesn’t mean that we don’t love John Jones, or that this Mass is not in a way a ‘farewell’ to John. We do, and it is. . .but John is not the source and summit of the Mass, and John does not speak ‘from the grave’ in the priest reading John’s ‘farewell’ in place of a homily.)

However, I do think that one could write out some words --not for the priest to say, of course–that could be given as an insert in the bulletin, or framed above the casket at the wake, and read (outside the funeral Mass).

The norms say nothing about who is allowed to compose a homily, only that it must be given (delivered) by the Priest or Deacon. Indeed there are books and magazines dedicated to homiletics that give outlines and whole homilies for a Priest to give.

Also, I am not talking about a eulogy, but to an actually homily, expounding on the Christian life in the light of the Gospels, that happens to have been written beforehand by the deceased.

 

[BlestOne]

not sure, but I am betting it would be up to the discretion of the priest as to whether he would use your homily over his own.

That being said, if you are talking about a eulogy, the best ones I have ever heard were at a Funeral mass and the worst was at a Lutheran funeral service… something about an entire eulogy done in Nascar speak wasn’t very comforting… the Holy Spirit is your pitt crew? Uncle X is in his race car in heaven???

 

[Genesis12345]

Hello,

No, you cannot write out your own homily and give it to the priest. This is why during the homily, the priest will speak about death and resurrection. What you are referring to is the “eulogy” which any member of the family can give before the mass ends. A eulogy usually is not a homily.

As for the readings and music, and as a former organist of 25 years, you ask the couple what readings they want and what music they prefer and usually someone in the family will do both readings.

 

[benedictgal]

It would not be a good idea to do so. The homily generally expounds on the readings of the Mass. Now, you could request that a certain priest celebrate the funeral Mass and entrust him with your selection of readings and hymns. Hopefully, he won’t predecease you.

If you are married, you can communicate your desires to your spouse so as to ensure that your wishes are carried out. This also would include consulting with the funeral home if you decide to have a pre-need plan. Include your expressed wish that the homily focus on the readings and not about you.

When my grandmother died, I did not want her pastor to celebrate the funeral Mass. The Mass he celebrated for my step-grandfather included a homily that was more of a eulogy and the whole service just went downhilll. I asked my parochial vicar to celebrate my grandmother’s Mass and, after we got the necessary clearance between dioceses, everything was given the green light.

I chose the readings and the hymns, giving my parochial vicar the information beforehand. When he celebrated the Mass, he talked about the readings, slightly relating them to our loss, but, he kept on target. It was a huge improvement over my stepgrandfather’s funeral.

 

[JMJ_coder]

JMJ_coder;4263708:

Hello,

No, you cannot write out your own homily and give it to the priest. This is why during the homily, the priest will speak about death and resurrection. What you are referring to is the “eulogy” which any member of the family can give before the mass ends. A eulogy usually is not a homily.

As for the readings and music, and as a former organist of 25 years, you ask the couple what readings they want and what music they prefer and usually someone in the family will do both readings.

No, I am not referring to a eulogy. A eulogy would be like: “O that Joe, he was such a wonderful guy. I remember one time …”. I am speaking of an actually homily.

For instance, say you picked a reading from 2 Maccabees and you write out an exposition on Purgatory. Or, you try to connect the Epistle with the Gospel in a way that you always found interesting.

 

[Karl_M]

Well,

I think it goes like this. You can do anything you want. You could pick the readings and write the homily, but that’s no guarantee that the priest or deacon will go along with it.

We very much wanted a specific Gospel reading for my grandmother’s funeral (“there are many rooms in my Father’s house…”), but the priest (who never met with us or spoke with us) picked a different reading-it was a good reading (Jn 3:16), but that isn’t the point.

The point is, that while you could write your own homily, it’s probably better to try to pick your readings and offer suggestions for your homily. Think of it this way, you’ll get a surprise.

 

[EasterJoy]

Well,

I think it goes like this. You can do anything you want. You could pick the readings and write the homily, but that’s no guarantee that the priest or deacon will go along with it.

We very much wanted a specific Gospel reading for my grandmother’s funeral (“there are many rooms in my Father’s house…”), but the priest (who never met with us or spoke with us) picked a different reading-it was a good reading (Jn 3:16), but that isn’t the point.

The point is, that while you could write your own homily, it’s probably better to try to pick your readings and offer suggestions for your homily. Think of it this way, you’ll get a surprise.

Once you’re dead, that will probably be pretty low on your list of concerns. It is worth considering if your family would find it will make planning your funeral easier on them, though.

If your family asks, let them know what you like to think your funeral might be like, write a letter about what you think your life is about, which they will treasure and which they can give the priest officiating at your funeral, if they want to. Or just let them know that you’re willing to tell them any of this, if they want to ask. Otherwise, I don’t think it is likely that any of us will wish, a moment after we die, that we had tried to micromanage things more than we did.

 

[Genesis12345]

As I quoted earlier, YOU CANNOT WRITE OUT THE HOMILY, but you can give an eulogy at the end of mass.

You also have the opportunity of selecting the three readings for the Liturgy and the music. Usually, someone from the family will do the readins, except for the Gospel.

I do not know where you people get the concept of writing out homilies, this IS NOT ALLOWED. The priest speaks in his homily about the death and resurrection of Christ, he does NOT give a eulogy during his homily, that is not the purpose of a homily.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello,

I was reading a bulletin insert about funeral planning, and it was talking about picking out the readings and the music, and on and on. And it got me thinking:

Could someone write out a homily for the Priest to give at their own funeral?

no, the Mass is directed by the priest, who is the liturgist and homilist and celebrant, it does not belong to the deceased, or to the family, and that is the rule for every Mass (including nuptial Mass, where this question more often arises).

the homily will be based on the readings and their message which is relevant to all, since we all face death, die, and mourn the death of loved ones.

personal remarks about the deceased belong at the wake (after the formal service) or at the luncheon after the burial and commital. A eulogy is NOT part of the Catholic funeral liturgy, although some priests feel compelled to allow family and friends to make brief remarks AFTER the service (which is still not appropriate until after the final blessing of the remains).

 

[EasterJoy]

I do not know where you people get the concept of writing out homilies, this IS NOT ALLOWED. The priest speaks in his homily about the death and resurrection of Christ, he does NOT give a eulogy during his homily, that is not the purpose of a homily.

You can write it out all you like. He won’t use it. If he does, then trust me, at that point it is his…but I’d keel over myself if any priest I know ever did that. They all know the difference between being a priest and being an obedient master of ceremonies!

Nevertheless, a lot of priests are interested in knowing how the deceased thought about our faith. I would not be surprised if one of them decided to quote bits of such a piece. A lot of families would treasure a reflection on living our faith that was written by a deceased relative. But you are right: nobody should ever set their hearts on having such a piece actually used verbatum at a particular funeral Mass.

A few short remarks along the lines of a eulogy are allowed at the end of funeral Masses in the Archdiocese of Portland. There is no prohibition on mentioning the life of the deceased during the homily, but the homily is to be clearly a homily, not a eulogy.

 

[plato3]

As most have said, the Mass is not the place for personal homilies. The priest or deacon will usually speak on the Catholic view of death and the resurrection. In the past, I have read poems and letters from family members at funerals, but the pastors now insist that this is done at the Vigil Service. If a family had a little homily prepared and it was consistant with church teaching, I would read it at the Vigil Service.

deacon tony