Funeral Mass & cremation

[didymus]

Trying to do some planning and just wondering how things work if one is cremated. Is the urn with the remains brought into the church in place of the coffin?

Also, I understand eulogies are verboten but from what I’ve seen they’ve become pretty much standard. Is there a way to avoid this. Even if it weren’t against the rules sometimes the priest has been very poorly briefed about the life of the deceased

 

[dconklin]

I am on staff at a parish and we often have funeral Masses with the deceased in an urn on a table with flowers in front of the altar. I have never seen the priest not talk about the deceased in his homily. But don’t worry, God will still embrace that person even if the priest got some of the facts wrong. The eulogy is said after the completion of the Mass - usually by a friend or family member.

 

[SMHW]

As you’ve learned, it is possible to have the cremains present at the funeral Mass. So far I’ve only been personally present at only one funeral where this happened.

When my mother died one of my brothers delivered a Eulogy at the wake and another gave a reflection after Communion at the funeral Mass. The condition for giving the reflection was that the text of it be presented to the priest prior to the funeral. (A day or two, I can’t remember now.) This kind of thing has the double advantage of giving a priest a chance to edit anything the speaker might have been intending to say and also gives the priest a chance to get to know a few things about a deceased person with whom he was not acquainted.

 

[paperwight]

Trying to do some planning and just wondering how things work if one is cremated. Is the urn with the remains brought into the church in place of the coffin?

I am puzzled by this, as every Funeral I’ve been to the cremation takes place afterwards .

First the Requiem with the coffin at the front of the church, then it is taken away for a short service at the crematorium… The ashes are usually ready to be collected a week or so later, and are then privately interred with another short ceremony which is not in church.

Is the question for when a person dies overseas and has to be returned home as ashes?

 

[Loboto-Me]

My mother was cremated right away and had her Mass said with her cremains at the front of the altar. This is what happened in another province, and what will probably happen with my father when the time comes.

As for my Church here, they have columbriums (hope I said that right) which are being added in a renovation. My husband and I are interested in aquiring one now for our future resting place. The thing is, that the pamphlet says that they want us to have the cremation happen after a Mass where the body is present.

These days, the price of a funeral is already exorbitant, especially when you include a casket which cannot even be rented (I wish!). There’s no way that we could afford to include a casket in our funeral plans. I think I’ll have to talk to the priest to see if it’s possible to forgo that part of the plan.

 

[twopekinguys]

I am puzzled by this, as every Funeral I’ve been to the cremation takes place afterwards .

First the Requiem with the coffin at the front of the church, then it is taken away for a short service at the crematorium… The ashes are usually ready to be collected a week or so later, and are then privately interred with another short ceremony which is not in church.

Is the question for when a person dies overseas and has to be returned home as ashes?

This can vary from place to place depending on local customs.

In the US, it is not uncommon for the cremation to take place before any funeral services are performed.

I have been to funerals here in the US where the body was present, and then went for cremation, but it is more common for it to happen the other way around.

 

[Stylites]

This can vary from place to place depending on local customs.

In the US, it is not uncommon for the cremation to take place before any funeral services are performed.

I have been to funerals here in the US where the body was present, and then went for cremation, but it is more common for it to happen the other way around.

I believe the preferred way is to have the body of the saint present in Church at the funeral Mass before cremation.

 

[twopekinguys]

I believe the preferred way is to have the body of the saint present in Church at the funeral Mass before cremation.

True, it is preferred, but in actuality, happens rarely.

As was mentioned earlier, you can’t rent a casket for this type of thing, and most people can’t afford one just to have it incinerated.

Since cost can be, and usually is a prohibitive factor, many people opt for the cremation first.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

Trying to do some planning and just wondering how things work if one is cremated. Is the urn with the remains brought into the church in place of the coffin?

Essentially, yes, How it plays out from there depends on the priest and the parish. Some priest will not incense the “cremains” or sprinkle them with holy water, others will.

Also, I understand eulogies are verboten but from what I’ve seen they’ve become pretty much standard. Is there a way to avoid this. Even if it weren’t against the rules sometimes the priest has been very poorly briefed about the life of the deceased

The ritual does allow some leeway here: “A member or a friend of the family may speak in remembrance of the deceased before the final commendation begins.” (OCF # 170)

The only way to avoid it is to be a member of the immediate family and make it known to others that you want no one to give a euglogy.

 

[Stylites]

True, it is preferred, but in actuality, happens rarely.

As was mentioned earlier, you can’t rent a casket for this type of thing, and most people can’t afford one just to have it incinerated.

Since cost can be, and usually is a prohibitive factor, many people opt for the cremation first.

Concerning the issue of costs, I am not certain that a simple compressed wood coffin meant for cremation is so expensive that “most people can’t afford one.” But certainly the costs of funerals are very high, and I’ve read of nuns who work to make Christian burials affordable. The Catholic cemeteries in my diocese offer free interment of cremains into holy ground for any family who asks for it, although these cremains are placed in a common vault with simple optional memorial plaques.

 

[SMHW]

I believe the preferred way is to have the body of the saint present in Church at the funeral Mass before cremation.

Another reason why this does not happen is that sometimes local laws require embalming if the body is not cremated or buried within a very short period of time. That is yet another expense that keeps families from having the cremation done after the funeral rather than before.

 

[twopekinguys]

Concerning the issue of costs, I am not certain that a simple compressed wood coffin meant for cremation is so expensive that “most people can’t afford one.” But certainly the costs of funerals are very high, and I’ve read of nuns who work to make Christian burials affordable. The Catholic cemeteries in my diocese offer free interment of cremains into holy ground for any family who asks for it, although these cremains are placed in a common vault with simple optional memorial plaques.

You are lucky, not every diocese offers this type of thing for those who cannot afford the burial expenses. Gravesites in our diocese start at $1045., then you have to add on the opening/closing fee, which is $980.00.

As far as funeral costs, I was just searching some information and found that the average funeral costs $6000.00, and the major cost in that is the casket. I also learned that the markup on a casket alone can be 1600%.

Even a compressed wood coffin can be expensive to someone who just doesn’t have the financial resources. Especially with the economy the way it is right now. I did a simple google search for casket prices, and found a “cremation casket” made my one of the leading manufacturers being sold for $795.00. Of course, that will vary from area to area also, but it gives you an idea.

Just the figures I have given you total $2820.00, and don’t even include the fee for the funeral director transporting and caring for the remains, or the cremation itself.

So, as you see, even going the bare minimums, it can add up to be quite an expense.

 

[revert_jen]

According to canon law (1176.3):The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.

But you need to be careful about the funeral Mass, because the actual permission given to have cremated remains present for the funeral Mass was worded this way:

“…this Dicastery concedes a particular permission to the diocesan Bishops of the United States of America. By this, local Ordinaries are authorized in the individual cases which are brought to their attention to permit that the funeral liturgy, including where appropriate the celebration of the Eucharist, be celebrated in the presence of the cremated remains instead of the natural body.”

As far as I can tell, this means that in each individual case the bishop must approve. It is therefore not a given that permission will be given to everyone. If you want to see the document, it is here: usccb.org/liturgy/current/cremation.shtml

Regarding money, it is surprising what people can afford if they think it is important. Certainly not everyone can afford to have the natural body present at the funeral Mass. However, it is equally certain that some people who say they can’t afford it could in fact afford it if it were important to them. However, it is seen as a waste of money that could be spent on something else. If that something else is food, shelter, clothing, basic transportation, education, etc., then I agree. If it’s electronics, entertainment/movies, eating out instead of at home, an expenseive car, etc., then it is just a matter of priorities. Just my opinion, though.

Regarding the eulogy, I believe there is no problem with having one. The thing that I understand is not supposed to happen (GIRM 382), and nonetheless does happen with distressing regularity, is for the priest to turn the homily for the funeral Mass into a eulogy.

If it is the funeral Mass for an immediate family member you could just ask the priest not to do it. If it is your own funeral you are considering, then you could write down your wishes and make sure that an immediate family member knows where to find them. If it’s for someone else, as Father pointed out, there’s not much you can do.

For myself, in my funeral instructions (if I ever get around to writing them), I’m also going to ask specifically that nobody at the Mass say that I am already in Heaven. Unless I become a lot better (or of course a bit worse) before I die, I’m going to want people praying me out of Purgatory, and it seems less likely that they’ll do so if they’re told I’m in Heaven already, as I’ve seen in several Catholic funerals I’ve attended.

–Jen

 

[Lutheranteach]

Another reason why this does not happen is that sometimes local laws require embalming if the body is not cremated or buried within a very short period of time. That is yet another expense that keeps families from having the cremation done after the funeral rather than before.

Generally bodies only have to be embalmed if:

1. the deceased died of an infectious illness
2. The body is being transported across state lines
3. The body cannot be stored at a temp of 40 degrees or less and burial cannot take place in 24 hours or less
4. in many states a non-embalmed body is considered embalmed if it is placed in a hermetically sealed metal casket and the service will be closed casket.

 

[Stylites]

You are lucky, not every diocese offers this type of thing for those who cannot afford the burial expenses.

While insurance is almost always available there’s still going to be a great need out there. Family and friends are often the ones to pay for funerals. While the Church requires that the faithful be buried or interred into sacred ground, the costs involved can be scandalous. Land is so cheap per rural acre compared to the cost of a managed burial plot (talk about markups!), and I imagine that technically all it takes to be sacred is for the land to be blessed. Scattering cremains costs nothing, as does dumping cremains onto someone else’s grave, practices not allowed but not unheard of either.

 

[twopekinguys]

While insurance is almost always available there’s still going to be a great need out there. Family and friends are often the ones to pay for funerals. While the Church requires that the faithful be buried or interred into sacred ground, the costs involved can be scandalous. Land is so cheap per rural acre compared to the cost of a managed burial plot (talk about markups!), and I imagine that technically all it takes to be sacred is for the land to be blessed. Scattering cremains costs nothing, as does dumping cremains onto someone else’s grave, practices not allowed but not unheard of either.

Funny you should mention scattering on top of a grave.

A lady that I worked with (not Catholic), told me how when her father passed away, she had him cremated.

Instead of burying him in a plot of his own, or with his wife, they scattered the ashes on top of her mother’s grave.

The next morning, the cemetery called her to let her know that someone had thrown an unknown substance over her mother’s grave, but rest assured, they had cleaned it all up, and disposed of it.

 

[SMHW]

I checked my diocesan website and that of a local “Catholic” mortuary in order to find some information. My diocese had delegated pastors the right to decide if cremated remains can be present at a funeral liturgy.

While my state does not require embalming for viewings that take place shortly after death this mortuary has a policy requiring embalming if there will be a viewing. (That more or less means that if you want a viewing with no embalming you won’t be using the Catholic mortuary.)

The mortuary emphasizes that the Catholic Church prefers cremation *after *funerals. I sent an email asking if they offer rental caskets for those who wish a body to be present at a funeral prior to cremation. (That piece of information was absent from the website.) I will have to report back if and when I hear from them.