Funeral Mass for toddler

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brian_custer said:
i haven’t seen black vestments in like, forever, at a funeral

not sure why it would be the “celebrant’s” discretion
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Because it is an option in the Mass. When options are given, they are always at the celebrant’s discretion. It’s his right to choose from among the available options.

This is like choosing the Eucharistic Prayer. When the Church gives the celebrant options, he can choose which one he wants. Not all options are available all the time. He can only choose from the available options.
when i am planted, please father wear WHITE
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I doubt it will be me. But I always wear black for funerals, unless I’m the concelebrant and the celebrant chooses violet or white.
 
In this part of the world, I have never seen a set of black vestments in a Sacristy. I know two priests who own a set, but, here most parishes don’t buy black vestments.

It might be something to put on that “what can we donate to the parish” list!
 
don’t buy things that will never be used…Ask your priest first
 
I’m on staff, I kinda know what would and wound not be used, but thank you for the advice.
 
TheLittleLady said:
I’m on staff, I kinda know what would and wound not be used, but thank you for the advice.
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Try Catholic Liturgicals.

They have good quality vestments at amazing low prices. They are “just the thing” for a first-time set of black vestments.

If you’ve ever priced vestments before, you won’t believe it. When I tell other priests the prices, they literally do not believe me—I have to prove it by showing them the website.
 
Oh, I know. I’ve seen little old ladies blanch at the prices!
 
FrDavid96 said:
I doubt it will be me. But I always wear black for funerals, unless I’m the concelebrant and the celebrant chooses violet or white.
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Fr David, I am becoming more and more of an online fan of yours. Having once had a spouse who died at a young age, I would have really appreciated this. I remember feeling, simply due to the white vestments of the priests and deacons, a lack of solidarity with our mourning family. Now, this was made up for with a truly beautiful funeral mass by the celebrant, so I would have never complained. But it did cross my mind at the time. I would have never considered it ahead of time to be an issue.

I don’t know why you choice to wear black, but I for one think it is a good idea for this reason.
 
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tafan2 said:
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FrDavid96:
I doubt it will be me. But I always wear black for funerals, unless I’m the concelebrant and the celebrant chooses violet or white.
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Fr David, I am becoming more and more of an online fan of yours. Having once had a spouse who died at a young age, I would have really appreciated this. I remember feeling, simply due to the white vestments of the priests and deacons, a lack of solidarity with our mourning family. Now, this was made up for with a truly beautiful funeral mass by the celebrant, so I would have never complained. But it did cross my mind at the time. I would have never considered it ahead of time to be an issue.

I don’t know why you choice to wear black, but I for one think it is a good idea for this reason.
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Thanks.

I wear black for several reasons.
  1. It’s not white. A funeral is not a canonization. We do not know that the person is in heaven. Wearing white is often done to make that statement. We do not know. It’s not our place to judge.
  2. Black is the color of mourning. It’s appropriate. It is the color we associate with death in our society.
  3. To not wear black is to deny the reality of mourning. We cannot pretend that we don’t grieve. It’s entirely unnatural. We try to suppress a natural emotion, a needed one. If we did not grieve at the loss of a loved one, we would be no better than animals (and even some animals grieve at death). We will grieve, no matter how much we try to suppress it, we will grieve.
  4. When He learned that Lazarus had died “Jesus wept.” He did not start cheering “Lazarus is in heaven now!” He wept. If it’s wrong to weep and grieve at the loss of a loved one, then it was wrong that Christ did it. If that’s true, then there’s no point in believing anything else about Him.
  5. When we deny the grief and we prematurely canonize the dead, we deprive them of the one thing they now need: our prayers. When we fail to pray for the souls of the deceased, we turn our backs on them. To deny the dead prayers for their souls is no better than denying food to a hungry person. White means that they don’t need our prayers. Black reminds us that they do need them.
I might get back later and add some other points, but that’s the gist of it.
 
Yes. That’s true. I recall one funeral here in the last six months in which the priest wore black vestments. It was a pleasant surprise.
 
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