Funeral Protocol - Need advice quick!

[Like]

I hope this is posted in the right forum.

I need an answer within the next hour or so. I will be attending a funeral mass in my parish in about 3 hours and need advise as to should I contact our pastor to let him know that there will be a fairly large number of non-Catholics and/or Catholics not in union with the Church, who will come forward to receive Communion unless the priest would announce before hand something to the affect “Only practicing Catholics in good standing with the Church should come forward to receive the Lord”.

I say this because I attended another Catholic funeral a few years back with some of the same people who will be attending this one today. And the Priest of that funeral did not make any statement and the whole congregation received. That was not in our parish, but I feel that priest should have realized not all we’re Catholic.

So, any advice or comments?

Mahalo!

 

[mommyof4]

Can you call him right now? Will he be at the funeral parlor for the final viewing? Can you catch him right before mass?

 

[jmm08]

At funeral masses around here, there are typically some paragraphs inserted in the bulletin (or program) which are a quoted from something the USCCB wrote exactly for this purpose (when a number of non-Catholics are expected to attend a situation where Mass will be said).

Hopefully this would be the case with funeral masses elsewhere as it is typical around here.

jmm08

 

[Like]

Can you call him right now? Will he be at the funeral parlor for the final viewing? Can you catch him right before mass?

Yes, I can call him right now, but there will be funeral parlor viewing as the body was cremated and I don’t know if I can catch him before Mass.

At funeral masses around here, there are typically some paragraphs inserted in the bulletin (or program) which are a quoted from something the USCCB wrote exactly for this purpose (when a number of non-Catholics are expected to attend a situation where Mass will be said).

Hopefully this would be the case with funeral masses elsewhere as it is typical around here.

jmm08

Thanks, but I have never seen anything about this in our bulletin.

Should I call him now?

 

[jblair]

Yes, inform the priest as soon as possible. Plan on what you will say to the priest since his time will probably be very limited.

 

[Like]

Yes, inform the priest as soon as possible. Plan on what you will say to the priest since his time will probably be very limited.

Thanks jblair. I’m attempting to contact the pastor now, without much luck.

Thank you all!

 

[SMHW]

Perhaps you could have a note ready for him and hand it to him right before the funeral.

It’s common in such situations for the priest to announce that all those Catholics who will be receiving communion are welcome to come forward and those who are not Catholic or will not be receiving communion are invited to come forward for a blessing.

I know that blessings can be controversial but (IMHO) funerals are appropriate places for such blessings.

Keep in mind that there are (unfortunately) some priests who don’t care if the people are Catholic and/or in good standing with the Church.

 

[Like]

Perhaps you could have a note ready for him and hand it to him right before the funeral.

It’s common in such situations for the priest to announce that all those Catholics who will be receiving communion are welcome to come forward and those who are not Catholic or will not be receiving communion are invited to come forward for a blessing.

I know that blessings can be controversial but (IMHO) funerals are appropriate places for such blessings.

Keep in mind that there are (unfortunately) some priests who don’t care if the people are Catholic and/or in good standing with the Church.

Thank you! I do agree with you last sentence & fortunately both of our priest do care. If unable to reach one by phone, I will attempt to contact before the service starts.
Again, thank you all!

 

[jblair]

How did this turn out?

 

[Glennon_P]

Yes, I can call him right now, but there will be funeral parlor viewing as the body was cremated

Isn’t cremation supposed to follow the funeral Mass and not precede it?

 

[chicago]

Isn’t cremation supposed to follow the funeral Mass and not precede it?

Ideally, but the bishops also were working on guidelines awhile back to still allow a funeral Mass when cremation has already occurred.

 

[MusicMan]

With all due respect, I would recommend you stay out of it. It’s the priest’s call about whether or not to make that statement, and no one else’s. I’m sorry, but I sort of feel like you’re sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong.

 

[Like]

How did this turn out?

Well, I didn’t get a chance to speak with the priest before the service. However I did get to speak with my son (non practicing Catholic) & he related to his wife and her parents (non Catholic). And they were the ones I was concerned about as they were the same ones that I knew had received at the previous Catholic service. So every thing went well. And there were a good number of people that did not receive our Lord and a great many that did receive.
We have lived here for 20+ years & this is the 1st. real Hawaiian funeral we have witnessed. I really wish we could have video taped it. It was the most beautiful service we have ever seen! Nothing added or removed from the Mass, but before and after Mass is what I’m talking about here, just beautiful! I don’t know how to describe it. A hugh family, grandma had 15 kids & all them have big familys. The deceased was a 24 year old grandson & had 11 brothers & sisters. The Hawaiians celebrate death as something good, as we should.
Thank you!

With all due respect, I would recommend you stay out of it. It’s the priest’s call about whether or not to make that statement, and no one else’s. I’m sorry, but I sort of feel like you’re sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong.

Musicman, I know what your saying but in this case it would have been wrong not to have spoken to the priest. Father E. & I are pretty close and I think he would have appreciated it.
Mahalo!

 

[johnnykins]

I am so glad it worked out for you. Funerals can be trying times for everyone - including the priest.

That being said, I attended a funeral last week at a Catholic Church for a practicing Catholic whose husband is a practicing Catholic and whose daughter is a practicing Catholic. About half the small congregation were practicing Catholics. Interestingly the congregation was told to sit during the Eucharistic Prayer and the common Protestant version of the Our Father was said.

This is the second funeral by this priest I have attended in the past 2 years - and the same thing takes place. I am told - so this is second hand - that he does this to be welcoming to the non-Catholics.

It strikes me a odd (at the least) that to be welcoming at a Catholic Church for a Catholic funeral for a Catholic decedent with a Catholic family and many Catholic attendees - the priest feels the need to not say the Mass as demanded by the Catholic Church.

What’s really odd is that the non-Catholics I know all expect a Catholic service at a Catholic Church for a Catholic - and they know it will be different from what they are used to.

So - the only people made unwelcome (and confused and out of place) by this priest are the Catholics - and the non-Catholics would not feel unwelcome (and were still unsure of what to do anyway) if the service were in accordance with the rubrics because they expect no less. It’s crazy!!

 

[Kielbasi]

So, any advice or comments?

Mahalo!

I think it would be best if the priests would say something during weddings/funerals.

The liturgy often makes it seem to non-catholics as if it is only polite to receive communion, and staying in the pews would be interpreted as an anti-catholic slur by refusing hospitality.