Funeral Wishes - can this be done

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Ukrforever

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I have recently had a young person die in my family he didnt have his wishes set out on paper so I decided to put it down on paper but I wanted to get your opinion as well.

1)** I would wish to have Pananchyda prayers done at the church I attend.**I would be embalmed for this and it would also be a visitation.Should I have it private or public? My fear is that if I have it public less people will attend my funeral, and just attend this instead.
Do they make prayer cards up for an Eastern Catholic funeral? Id like to have them at mine.
  1. Id than have my funeral at another Ukranian Catholic church not the one I attend. The reason being its less than a block a way from the Legion hall where I want my reception.**My church is so far away from the hall that few people would attend. That would be an unessesary waste of money if I chose to do it at my church.****I would have my priest conduct the service. I assume that can be done? **The reason being I dont know the priest at that church, and the few times hes done services at my church I could hardly understand him. Not only does he have a thick accent but he mumbles.Whats the use of having a funeral service if no one would know what hes saying
  2. Can you have a traditional funeral service with cremated remains? I mean they can still do the gospel reading as I come into the church with someone carrying my remains. They can still have the kiss of farewell by having people kiss the cross and than my remains urn instead of body. What would I miss out on if I chose cremation?
  3. **Do they give communion at a funeral divine litergy? **
Please get back to me as im anxious to get something on paper soon as one never knows.
 
All please answer I want every opinion and guidance I can get
 
I don’t really know the answer to most of your questions, but I know that cremation is forbidden in the Orthodox Church: those who willingly have their body cremated after death are denied a funeral service and are not mentioned at memorial services. I would assume that the Eastern Catholics have a similar prohibition.
 
Ukrforever said:
I have recently had a young person die in my family he didnt have his wishes set out on paper so I decided to put it down on paper but I wanted to get your opinion as well.

1)** I would wish to have Pananchyda prayers done at the church I attend.**I would be embalmed for this and it would also be a visitation.Should I have it private or public? My fear is that if I have it public less people will attend my funeral, and just attend this instead.
Do they make prayer cards up for an Eastern Catholic funeral? Id like to have them at mine.
  1. Id than have my funeral at another Ukranian Catholic church not the one I attend. The reason being its less than a block a way from the Legion hall where I want my reception.**My church is so far away from the hall that few people would attend. That would be an unessesary waste of money if I chose to do it at my church.****I would have my priest conduct the service. I assume that can be done? **The reason being I dont know the priest at that church, and the few times hes done services at my church I could hardly understand him. Not only does he have a thick accent but he mumbles.Whats the use of having a funeral service if no one would know what hes saying
  2. Can you have a traditional funeral service with cremated remains? I mean they can still do the gospel reading as I come into the church with someone carrying my remains. They can still have the kiss of farewell by having people kiss the cross and than my remains urn instead of body. What would I miss out on if I chose cremation?
  3. **Do they give communion at a funeral divine litergy? **
Please get back to me as im anxious to get something on paper soon as one never knows.
Click to expand...
A few things…although cremation is permitted in the Eastern Catholic churches it is highly discouraged.

Funeral Divine Liturgy? Are you a priest? Lay people have a Parastas/Trisagion for the funeral…Liturgy is served for a priest or bishop (although I have heard of the Divine Liturgy being served for laypeople {BIG LATINIZATION}).

The other things you mention would work as long as the proper fees are paid and the undertaker makes all the arrangements.
 
if you want to make funeral plans now speak to the next of kin who would be in charge of arrangements and let them know your wishes. If you wish to know what is permitted in your church, visit your priest and find out.
 
Why is cremation discouraged? I though as long as you were not doing it to spite our bodys one day coming back to life it was okay. Also, do they give communion during funeral parastas?
 
ciero said:
Funeral Divine Liturgy? Are you a priest? Lay people have a Parastas/Trisagion for the funeral…Liturgy is served for a priest or bishop (although I have heard of the Divine Liturgy being served for laypeople {BIG LATINIZATION})
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For Ruthenians and most Ukrainian Catholics I know, there is always a funeral Divine Liturgy unless the person dies during Great Lent in which case there is just a Parastas and Panachida service.

Hope this helps…
 
Ukrforever said:
I have recently had a young person die in my family he didnt have his wishes set out on paper so I decided to put it down on paper but I wanted to get your opinion as well.

1)** I would wish to have Pananchyda prayers done at the church I attend.**I would be embalmed for this and it would also be a visitation.Should I have it private or public? My fear is that if I have it public less people will attend my funeral, and just attend this instead.
Do they make prayer cards up for an Eastern Catholic funeral? Id like to have them at mine.
  1. Id than have my funeral at another Ukranian Catholic church not the one I attend. The reason being its less than a block a way from the Legion hall where I want my reception.**My church is so far away from the hall that few people would attend. That would be an unessesary waste of money if I chose to do it at my church.****I would have my priest conduct the service. I assume that can be done? **The reason being I dont know the priest at that church, and the few times hes done services at my church I could hardly understand him. Not only does he have a thick accent but he mumbles.Whats the use of having a funeral service if no one would know what hes saying
  2. Can you have a traditional funeral service with cremated remains? I mean they can still do the gospel reading as I come into the church with someone carrying my remains. They can still have the kiss of farewell by having people kiss the cross and than my remains urn instead of body. What would I miss out on if I chose cremation?
  3. **Do they give communion at a funeral divine litergy? **
Please get back to me as im anxious to get something on paper soon as one never knows.
Click to expand...
Funny you should post this - recently, I came across several pages of written instructions by an uncle who spelled out exactly how he wanted his funeral to look like, including the suit they would put him in while in the coffin . . .

There is no reason why cremated remains could not be used - but one would need to clear this with a priest/bishop.

Friends of mine went through the pain of a still-born baby which they baptized. The bishop gave permission to serve the funeral service of a child etc.

It would be best to have a requiem Divine Liturgy (and I’ve only not seen this done in the Orthodox Church). Most parishes of the UGCC would do this as a matter of course.

If this is a Latinization, then GO LATINS!

Alex
 
Ukrforever said:
I have recently had a young person die in my family he didnt have his wishes set out on paper so I decided to put it down on paper but I wanted to get your opinion as well.

1)** I would wish to have Pananchyda prayers done at the church I attend.**I would be embalmed for this and it would also be a visitation.Should I have it private or public? My fear is that if I have it public less people will attend my funeral, and just attend this instead.
Do they make prayer cards up for an Eastern Catholic funeral? Id like to have them at mine.
  1. Id than have my funeral at another Ukranian Catholic church not the one I attend. The reason being its less than a block a way from the Legion hall where I want my reception.**My church is so far away from the hall that few people would attend. That would be an unessesary waste of money if I chose to do it at my church.****I would have my priest conduct the service. I assume that can be done? **The reason being I dont know the priest at that church, and the few times hes done services at my church I could hardly understand him. Not only does he have a thick accent but he mumbles.Whats the use of having a funeral service if no one would know what hes saying
  2. Can you have a traditional funeral service with cremated remains? I mean they can still do the gospel reading as I come into the church with someone carrying my remains. They can still have the kiss of farewell by having people kiss the cross and than my remains urn instead of body. What would I miss out on if I chose cremation?
  3. **Do they give communion at a funeral divine litergy? **
Please get back to me as im anxious to get something on paper soon as one never knows.
Click to expand...
One of my responses to my change in canonical status to an ECC was “Thanks be to God they won’t be singing that at my funeral!” during one of many funerals where I’ve assisted in my Latin parish. 🙂

You ought to speak with your priest and see what is the practice in your Eparchy/Diocese. I don’t know if any forbid cremation, but it is strongly discouraged. It is forbidden in the Orthodox Church and as Orthodox in communion with Rome we ought to take this very seriously I believe. I had always assumed I would be cremated as were my parents and grandparents (none was Catholic or Orthodox), and changing this image has been a challenge for me.

Where I have read of Divine Liturgy for the departed permitted for those who choose cremation the cremation was required to be after the DL. So, again, please talk with your priest about this and/or call the Eparchy.

The only services for the departed I have been to was at the Russian Orthodox parish which is my “second home”. This consisted of a Friday Otpevanie (funeral vigil) and Saturday Divine Liturgy. There was the “last kiss” during the vigil for those who would not be present at the DL the next day. The Metropolitan and Bishop were present at both. The burial took place many hours drive from the church so I was not present for that.

No one has died in my EC parish during my years there. We have celebrated Panikhidas for those who were not buried in our parish but were close to the parish for various reasons.
 
Patchunky said:
For Ruthenians and most Ukrainian Catholics I know, there is always a funeral Divine Liturgy unless the person dies during Great Lent in which case there is just a Parastas and Panachida service.

Hope this helps…
Click to expand...
I’ve only seen Funeral DL’s for priests. I’ve seen memorial DL’s a week after the burial.
 
Aramis said:
I’ve only seen Funeral DL’s for priests. I’ve seen memorial DL’s a week after the burial.
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5Loaves said:
The only services for the departed I have been to was at the Russian Orthodox parish which is my “second home”. This consisted of a Friday Otpevanie (funeral vigil) and Saturday Divine Liturgy. There was the “last kiss” during the vigil for those who would not be present at the DL the next day. The Metropolitan and Bishop were present at both. The burial took place many hours drive from the church so I was not present for that.
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This was for a lay person. The body was present at the DL. The components as described here “Important features of the funeral service are as follows:” were included tho since I was at both the vigil and the DL I can’t say for sure when things took place. As I said there was the “last kiss” during the vigil for those who would not be present at the DL, and again after the DL.
 
Aramis said:
I’ve only seen Funeral DL’s for priests. I’ve seen memorial DL’s a week after the burial.
Click to expand...
A gentleman from my church passed away on Tuesday night. His Parastas will be on Friday evening and his funeral Divine Liturgy will be on Saturday morning from his home parish Transfiguration of Lord in McKeesport, PA
 
Patchunky said:
A gentleman from my church passed away on Tuesday night. His Parastas will be on Friday evening and his funeral Divine Liturgy will be on Saturday morning from his home parish Transfiguration of Lord in McKeesport, PA
Click to expand...
Funeral Divine Liturgies are done by the Ruthenians and Ukrainians here in the US for laymen, unfortunately another Latinization. From what I understand they are not done in the old country. I have also seen it done in some OCA churches usually when the person requests it due to their ties with the Ruthenian church (a good number of old time OCAers are former Greek Catholics).
 
ciero said:
Funeral Divine Liturgies are done by the Ruthenians and Ukrainians here in the US for laymen, unfortunately another Latinization. From what I understand they are not done in the old country. I have also seen it done in some OCA churches usually when the person requests it due to their ties with the Ruthenian church (a good number of old time OCAers are former Greek Catholics).
Click to expand...
My cousin’s husband passed away in January and had a funeral Divine Liturgy in our village in Slovakia:D
 
ciero said:
A few things…although cremation is permitted in the Eastern Catholic churches it is highly discouraged.

Funeral Divine Liturgy? Are you a priest? Lay people have a Parastas/Trisagion for the funeral…Liturgy is served for a priest or bishop (although I have heard of the Divine Liturgy being served for laypeople {BIG LATINIZATION}).

The other things you mention would work as long as the proper fees are paid and the undertaker makes all the arrangements.
Click to expand...
Since I am now alone, I too have make lots of plans regarding my final days and funeral. Dont know if this helps but here it is…
(as per the quote above… I’m sorry to say some people on this site are so ‘technical’ in regards to simple words. One is Parastas and one is Panahyda. One is done at the funeral home usually on the last day of viewing, the other is the funeral Liturgy…no big deal but I’m not here to impress…but I am also not here to correct.)
  1. I believe you can pre arrange to have your funeral at any church. I think you would have to talk to the priest at the church you want to have the funeral at ahead of time, and he may need to verify your religion with the church you normally attend or maybe just need to see your baptismal record, etc. If this is the case, why not ask for a con-celebrated service that is, though held in one church, have both priests officiate. And those who offer a mass for the repose of the soul be divided equally between the 2 churches.
  2. I am told that cremation is ‘ok’ but personally this is something I’m not too sure about (scripturally there is something there that “those in the graves will rise first”). I would advise you to research and soul search on this before you plan this.
  3. OK, now this is totally personal, but this is what I have arranged and maybe this may add to your thoughts…
    First: Should I be admitted to the hospital in a terminal case: I am Catholic. I would want to receive the sacrament from a Catholic priest every day. If I am in a state that I could not receive the sacrament, I ask that the priest absolve me of all my sins and anoint me in preparation of death.
    Second: Should I die at home, I have asked my children to contact my dear friend who is a priest to perform the last rites on me as soon as possible, right in my own home.
    Third: Because I am alone, other than 2 children, I am not interested in embalming or a funeral viewing because I believe ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust’ and truly I am no longer in my body at the time of death. Instead of the costs of embalming,funeral expenses etc, that instead my children use that money for masses for my soul. And instead of flowers (I’m dead, what do I care about flowers?!) that masses could be said for my soul. (IN YOUR CASE, masses at either and/or both churches). *.
    Fourth: I dont want an elaborate casket, I dont want anything fancy — after all I am not there anymore - every spare cent goes to my church or to my favorite charity.
    Fifth: I want my family to truly celebrate my entrance to heaven on the 40th day after my death. I want them to take off from work, to attend a Liturgy in my honor, and thank the Lord God Almighty for my life and for my entrance into His presence.
Too I should state, I am a health care worker and so many people do not FULLY - in DETAIL - plan their end of life desires and chaos (and guilt) follow. Please spend a lot of time and put in exact details what your desires are, not only for your family and into your will, but to your doctor and the hospital you may be in.*
 
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