Funerals And Money

[dal11]

In today’s culture it seems to try and make you feel guilty if you don’t spend a lot of money on the funeral, casket or grave marker. Is it wrong to try to get a loved one buried as cheap as possible no matter how much money you have. I’m sorry I just never got spending all that money on a funeral. If you choose to, fine. It got me thinking the other day my son likes to go over to our catholic cemetary and look around (he’s into old looking things, civil war, things like that). The headstones that are 60 years old or older you can’t even read anymore. So it’s not like 1000 years from now someone is still going to be able to read who’s there anyway. I told my wife when I die put me in the cheapest casket you can find, make a cross out of sticks and that’s all you need to do. Any thoughts?

 

[Gertabelle]

When my father passed away it was the first and only time I was ever part of the planning of a funeral. My father had specified he wanted to be cremated, and the cemetary where he wanted his remains interred, but other than that, it was up to us to make the choices. My brother is very much a “top of the line” kind of guy. I’m more like you, just stick my body in a pine box - it’s just an empty shell.

Anyway, we had $10K from a life insurance policy, and my mom and I let my brother make most of the choices. It came out to just over $10K, and my brother covered the difference. For him, it was an important way to honor our father. I honored my father through planning the services, and I sang at his funeral mass, because my singing always made him happy.

My point (I think I had one) is that funerals (aside from the prayers) are for the living, not the deceased. We plan and attend services for our comfort and expression of love and grief. If you want everything kept simple, then make your wishes known. But if you’re able, give your family permission to grieve and express that grief in the way that comforts them - even if it ends up being the opposite of you would have chosen for yourself. You’ll be at the eternal celebration anyway!

Just my two cents.

Gert

 

[puzzleannie]

In today’s culture it seems to try and make you feel guilty if you don’t spend a lot of money on the funeral, casket or grave marker.
. . … Any thoughts?

the culture does not impose guilt or standards on you, the people who absorb the values of the culture try to do that and they can only succeed to the degree that you let them.

Plan your funeral arrangements with those in your family likely to be the ones to carry them out. Do what seems most reverent in respect to the dignity of the human body, most reflective of your own culture and beliefs, and most practical in terms of resources.

 

[Mom_of_5]

Hubby and I have our funerals planned and paid for. No changes are allowed.We each have large families by previous marriage and his children are very anti-Catholic. If he allowed them to make arrangements, there would not be a Catholic funeral or any religious servious since none believe in anything. On the other hand, mychildren are well aware of what I want but it seemed fair for both of us to make arrangements to keep the peace and keep it “fair”. We are opting for very inexpensive caskets and burial in a beautiful little old cemetary that many folks have forgotten about…hence, plots are not spendy. I think it all depends upon your family situation and whether they are going to carry out your wishes as well as respect other family members. We would rather the money be spent on a good deserving charity than burying our bodies. To each his/her own.

Love and peace,
Mom of 5