Funerals

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A local well known coach died over the weekend and the media showed what they referred to as “services” at a local Catholic Church last night.

I hope this was not his funeral Mass but just a memorial service of some kind because they were playing his favorite song “I Did It My Way” and there were many eulogies shown.

I have not been to a Catholic funeral in a few years. I remember when the criteria was a 3 part occasion. One was a vigil or wake the night before the funeral (which is what this might have been) and it would be at that vigil that there was a rosay and any eulogizing that might go on by friends and family.

The second part would be the actual Requiem Mass.

The third would be the internment at the graveside.

Has this changed considerably?
 
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deogratias:
A local well known coach died over the weekend and the media showed what they referred to as “services” at a local Catholic Church last night.

I hope this was not his funeral Mass but just a memorial service of some kind because they were playing his favorite song “I Did It My Way” and there were many eulogies shown.

I have not been to a Catholic funeral in a few years. I remember when the criteria was a 3 part occasion. One was a vigil or wake the night before the funeral (which is what this might have been) and it would be at that vigil that there was a rosay and any eulogizing that might go on by friends and family.

The second part would be the actual Requiem Mass.

The third would be the internment at the graveside.

Has this changed considerably?
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i would imagine it was a memorial… there isn’t very much wiggle room at a funeral mass… probably a wake of some sort… if it enabled his family and friends to come together and wish him well with possibly his favorite music, i highly suspect that it is as you think, a vigil, a wake or some sort of memorial… 👍
 
This brought to mind something else I remember from the distant past and I don’t know if it was just my local parish as a child or if it was once required.

When someone in the Parish died, the priest would tell us we were obligated to attend the funeral Mass. Anyone remember anything like this?
 
Deogratias

You remember the three parts to a Catholic funeral correctly. Additionally the Catholic Church has recently spoken out strongly against giving eulogies in the Mass itself.
 
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deogratias:
This brought to mind something else I remember from the distant past and I don’t know if it was just my local parish as a child or if it was once required.

When someone in the Parish died, the priest would tell us we were obligated to attend the funeral Mass. Anyone remember anything like this?
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The Wake service can take place in the church. It does not need to take place away from the church at a funeral home.

Yes everyone from the parish should attend the funeral of a member of that parish if possible.
 
that’s interesting they chose “I Did it My Way” for the wake, being that I once heard a priest say in homily that the song is a great example of an anti-Christian philosophy
 
I just attended a funeral in Palm Desert, CA, the other day. The funeral Mass seemed to conform to the rubrics except for a eulogy given by the deceased’s brother. I’ve been taught that it’s inappropriate for eulogies to be delivered at a funeral Mass. Is this still the rule?
 
Since posing my original questions I found some more information and it is correct that this is to be discouraged.

The wake or vigil, the night before the funeral is the place for family and friends to eulogize their loved one.
 
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Minerva:
that’s interesting they chose “I Did it My Way” for the wake, being that I once heard a priest say in homily that the song is a great example of an anti-Christian philosophy
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I have heard this too.
 
Minerva - I think your priest is right - we may think we do something our way but without the help of God we can do nothing. Not only that, our desire should be to do it HIS way - as in “thy will be done”.

The parish where this was held would not be considered very orthodox however and so I was not too surprised. In fact after the song, it showed the pastor, who had been with the man and his family when he died, commenting that the hospice nurse had said he would take his last breath at such and such a time. He went on to say that, “of course he didn’t”. He took his last breath about 5 minutes later and “did it his way”. Well he got a good laugh from the crowd on that.

But the good news is I have since heard that there will be private burial today, so I am assuming last night was just a vigil and memorial so all the many people who knew him could attend.

Anyway RIP Coach Cotton Fitzsimmons
 
The wake service is a very old custom of the church. Family and friends gather for the rosary, talk about their loved one, and several very old prayers may be said. The Requiem Aeternam (1600 years old) and The Prayer of Release ( Goes back to before Christ, but has been Christianized) We had special training in our formation class to bring this very Catholic type service back to our churches. At one service, a beautiful Marian Hymn was sung by a church member, because it was a favorite of the deceased. There were few dry eyes among those who attended.

God bless,
Deacon Tony
 
There is a strong preference for having an actual body present for the funeral Mass. If the deceased has asked to be cremated, there may be a smaller, “private” funeral Mass before the body is cremated, and then a more public memorial Mass afterwards.

But the memorial Mass must still follow the normal rubrics, including Canon 23982. :rolleyes:
 
I am an organist at a local Catholic Church. It’s funny that you should bring up the song, “My Way.” I have played at a lot of funerals and the priest allowed this song (on tape by Frank Sinatra) to be played after the eulogy and before the Recessional Hymn at a recent funeral. I guess that it was ok because the mass had already officially ended. The man was a very active and devout Catholic. I don’t like any music that isn’t religious in nature to be played in church. I know we do it for weddings before the mass starts but that has to be done with taste.

Can anyone tell me the source that says that the Catholic Church discourages eulogies at a funeral? I would like to tactfully show my priest. We have an excellent priest and I would like to show him a source so that I’m not speaking out of turn. Thanks. Sue
 
Paul W:
There is a strong preference for having an actual body present for the funeral Mass. If the deceased has asked to be cremated, there may be a smaller, “private” funeral Mass before the body is cremated, and then a more public memorial Mass afterwards.

But the memorial Mass must still follow the normal rubrics, including Canon 23982. :rolleyes:
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Paul,

It is not always possible to have the body present before cremation. In California, for example you would have to have the body embalmed and buy a “presentation casket” (less expensive than a regular casket, but suitable for a funeral Mass). The Church now allows a funeral Mass in the presence of the cremains. This was authorized by Rome on July 30, 1997 but had been in use in the United States via indult since March 21, 1997.

Of course, the preference of the Church is to have a body rather than cremains or a memorial Mass.

Deacon Ed
 
All I can say is “UGH”.

The last funeral “Mass” I attended had exclusively secular music played on a cassette machine.

The prayers were of the fundie “make it up as you go along” type. And aside from one reading and the Gospel (where nearly everyone remained seated), the Eucharistic prayer (again most seated) was the only Catholic prayer at the whole thing. The Our Father was the Protestant “Lord’s Prayer” complete with “for thine is the kingdom the power and the glory…”

I was amazed however at how most of the seated congregation who obviously knew nothing about the church presented themselves for Holy Communion without a word from the priest. I think there may have been at most 5 or 6 Catholics there.
 
Speaking of funerals and funeral Masses. Does anybody here ever pray a Rosary novena for the dead? Here, it usually starts the night after the burial and continues for nine nights. On the last night we have either a Communion Service (if the person was active in the Church) or three Rosaries.

John
 
I was told by our parish priest back in NJ several years ago that the priests no longer go to the funeral home to lead the rosary anymore. He told us that if the family of the deceased wanted to say it on their own, that was fine, but the priests no longer could or would go out to do it. Apparently the demand was too great. I don’t know if this was unique to that particular parish, or if it was diocese-wide, or what. It made me sad.
 
In our diocese, the priest or the deacon will go to say the rosary or conduct a wake service if requested by the family.
 
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