Funny Apologetics Stories

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Okay this thread will be for funny stories of event that have occured while defending the faith. I was sitting outside a department store while some friends of mine were grabbing some stuff, it had been a long day and I chose to wait for what I hoped would be a short time. The bag inspector was speaking to his compatriots, I heard the words “Jesuit” and “Communist” and also “Control Secret Societies.” In one sentence thus leading me to engage the dear man in a discussion. It turned out he was a Seventh Day Adventist, with whom I have had limited dealings with. He and I argued somewhat, He tried to tell me that we couldn’t possibly be the true Church as St Peter was Married, I pointed out celibacy is a discipline, not a doctrine.

After about 5 minutes of discussion a Macedonian Orthodox woman joined in on my side, my friends came out shortly after. I quickly told the man to visit Catholic.Com as I had no literature or anything tangible to give him. He inturn gave me a copy of E.G White’s the Great controversy. Which was in the end just a big book of anti Catholic cliche and historical misinformation and half truths. I hope the man became enlightened after visiting CA as he claimed to be an ex-Catholic and to knowing all the doctrines, I had serious doubts.
 
This is not that funny, just odd.
When I was talking to a Bible Christian. He asked me how come Catholics have extra books in their bibles? He the pointed me to Rev 22:18-19 (no extra books) and I explained to him the truth. I then asked him why he gives authority to the Jewish Council and he said “the king James bible came first”. :rotfl: :rotfl: I laughed so hard I almost cried. Then I apologized for laughing and told him about how the bible came to be.
When I read the CARM forums, some one wrote “it is better to be an atheist then to be A Catholic. Atheist Can still be saved” :banghead: :banghead: that site is so stupid.
 
D Quintero:
When I read the CARM forums, some one wrote “it is better to be an atheist then to be A Catholic. Atheist Can still be saved” :banghead: :banghead: that site is so stupid.
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That is extremely insulting…
 
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BluegrassJimmie:
That is extremely insulting…
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It is insulting to say atheist have a better chance of getting to Heaven then Catholics. It is totally ludicrous.
 
I once had a Jehovah’s Witness trying to talk to me in front of a grocery store as I was walking by. I accepted his booklets but before we could talk a homeless man came up.

Before I walked away after about 2 minutes of waiting the homeless man started going into a huge discussion of spirituality how he has studied the Bible and all his views of things. The homeless guy was pretty well versed in the Bible but with a bunch of conspiracy theories mixed in. They started going back and forth.
After going away and eating some food over at a fast food restaurant, I came back by and they were still there with the homeless guy going on and on about his theories. The poor Jehovah’s Witness couldn’t get out of the conversation or give out his booklets.
I felt a little bad for the Jehovah’s Witness except the good thing is he couldn’t give out his material.

Scylla
 
Wierdest apologetics moment I ever had: In the beginning, I had started a “club” of sorts. A neighbor in the apartment complex, a fallen-away Lutheran, basically, was the most regular attendee. Eventually he sat next to me and backed me up while we took on a couple of Mormon missionaries. In the back of my mind I was thinking, “How odd. A Catholic, a Lutheran and two Mormons step into an apologetics debate…”

Funniest recent quote about apologetics: After my girlfriend and I got home (in our separate homes) from Theology on Tap in a local Irish pub , we were chatting and she said, “No wonder they drink the strong stuff. When dealing with Catholic/Protestant issues you have to invent a drink that thick.” (Not two hours ago, my Protestant girlfriend got back from signing up for beginning RCIA, or whatever the program is).

Funniest/scariest thing: When street preachers would invade campus, I’d always ride my bike up to them and ask from the crowd if they had any anti-Catholic literature. They’d invariably get excited and say “Yes!” I’d take it, then continually rudely interrupt them as I went through the pamphlets. I’d say, “Excuse me, but this says we worship Mary. Why are you bearing false witness?”

Funny/scary #2: At the height of my “fanatical period,” I rode my bike around town to all the Protestant churches at midnight and tacked up a flyer on their front doors that described the importance of praying the rosary. The local priest wasn’t at all pleased…
 
When I was student teaching one of my students (who is a Baptist) began telling her friend how un-Biblical Catholics are, because they call their priests “father” when the Bible says not to. Me being a devout Catholic I asked her what she calls the man who married her mother. She said that was different. Then I said, "How about when St. Stephen was before the Sanhedrin, he addresses them as “fathers.” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I didn’t write the Bible.” The teacher I worked with smiled, his brother is a priest.
 
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montanaman:
Wierdest apologetics moment I ever had: In the beginning, I had started a “club” of sorts. A neighbor in the apartment complex, a fallen-away Lutheran, basically, was the most regular attendee. Eventually he sat next to me and backed me up while we took on a couple of Mormon missionaries. In the back of my mind I was thinking, “How odd. A Catholic, a Lutheran and two Mormons step into an apologetics debate…”

Funniest recent quote about apologetics: After my girlfriend and I got home (in our separate homes) from Theology on Tap in a local Irish pub , we were chatting and she said, “No wonder they drink the strong stuff. When dealing with Catholic/Protestant issues you have to invent a drink that thick.” (Not two hours ago, my Protestant girlfriend got back from signing up for beginning RCIA, or whatever the program is).

Funniest/scariest thing: When street preachers would invade campus, I’d always ride my bike up to them and ask from the crowd if they had any anti-Catholic literature. They’d invariably get excited and say “Yes!” I’d take it, then continually rudely interrupt them as I went through the pamphlets. I’d say, “Excuse me, but this says we worship Mary. Why are you bearing false witness?”

Funny/scary #2: At the height of my “fanatical period,” I rode my bike around town to all the Protestant churches at midnight and tacked up a flyer on their front doors that described the importance of praying the rosary. The local priest wasn’t at all pleased…
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I like you…
 
Funniest/scariest thing: When street preachers would invade campus, I’d always ride my bike up to them and ask from the crowd if they had any anti-Catholic literature. They’d invariably get excited and say “Yes!” I’d take it, then continually rudely interrupt them as I went through the pamphlets. I’d say, “Excuse me, but this says we worship Mary. Why are you bearing false witness?”
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I am SO going to do this next month!
 
This got a little long, but there’s some background that had to be understood first…

Okay, back when I was in college I was home visiting my Dad for a few weeks. Dad has a cockerspaniel named Thomas Aquinas, aka Tommy, who’s just about the most love-able dog, but like the rest of the breed, has problems holding his liquids in when he gets excited.

So anyway, I’m home. As a college student, I enjoy staying out late at starbucks with friends on Saturday nights (oh, the joy of coffee available 24/7!). I figure that this is why God invented the 10:30 am mass… it’s perfect for us night owls. If there was a Catholics Anonymous meeting, my line would have been, “Hi, my name is Paul, I’m a catholic and nothing short of a nuclear explosion gets me out of bed before 9:45 on weekends.”

But I digress… Sunday morning rolls around, and by Sunday morning I mean the “why God, why?” hours… namely six AM. There’s a pounding on the door, and Thomas, the lovingly excitable dog is spazzing out because he knows he’s gonna meet somebody new. For myself, I am slightly less excited about being woken up. In my grogginess, I utterly fail at stopping Tommy from getting out the door and freaking out about our 2 high school aged mormon boys. “Don’t pet the dog,” I say, “He pees when he’s too excited and he’s always excited when meeting new people.” They both nod. All of us are oblivious that God is about to deliver punishment for waking up one of His catholics before the alloted time…

The front one starts his schpeel that they’re the mormons and they have this that and the other program I can benefit from if I come to their church some time and blah blah blah… At this point, I’d lost interest because Tommy had walked up to the boy standing in back and put his front paws on his leg (basically, standing looking up at him). Here’s why you should always listen to catholics: when we tell you “don’t pet the dog” we’re not lying. He reaches down and absent mindedly gives Tommy a rub on the head… Tommy gets excited and he
pees.
all.
over.
this.
guys.
leg…
… and down into his shoe even.

Now, the look on the kids face is classic. I feel guilty of lack of charity, but I’ve got to say that seeing that made it pretty hard to keep a straight face. And the guy in front has no clue his friend just got peed on by our dog. He keeps talking… and talking… and talking… about what, I have no clue, because I’m too busy trying not to die laughing as the kid in back stands there wiggling his foot. Finally, the kid in back can’t stand that anymore, grabs the other kid’s sleeve and says something about me looking busy and tired and they should let me get back to sleep.

The poor dog had disappeared inside the second he peed. He knew he was in trouble, he’s always in trouble when he pees on the floor, and this time he had peed on a PERSON. I’m sure he was confused when I tossed him a doggy treat and went back to bed until a more Godly hour of the morning…
 
Over the years I’ve engaged several Mormon missionaries. On one occasion, after the initial knock on the door and doorstep discussion, I invited them to return for further discussion. They told me they would come back with a chaperone. In my innocence, I thought they were trying to protect my reputation, but since they returned with yet another man (thus three men and one woman - me), it was obvious that they were protecting themselves from any advances on my part. 😃
 
promethius said:
. . .

The poor dog had disappeared inside the second he peed. He knew he was in trouble, he’s always in trouble when he pees on the floor, and this time he had peed on a PERSON. I’m sure he was confused when I tossed him a doggy treat and went back to bed until a more Godly hour of the morning…
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:rotfl:
 
Wow – I’d forgotten about this thread. Heh.

I no longer get into apologetics debates. I like to discuss whenever I encounter a sane Protestant/atheist/heathen/pagan/Cafeteria Catholic, but they’re a rare breed. (Granted, they probably think I’m insane, too.) Nowadays, I think apologetics is too fraught with peril. It’s so easy to become an arrogant A-Double-S. It’s so easy to get into it for all the wrong reasons.

My suggestion: go live in a cave for a few years, progress spiritually until you no longer feel the need to take every critic on, and then, and ONLY then, engage people about these issues.

When I realized that I’d come to the point where I’d rather just punch someone in the throat than explain transubstantiation for the 1,000th time, it was probably time to retire…
 
I encounterd something that is pretty funny the beginning of the year.

I talked to a guy through youtube messages about his comment on Mary. The comments he made was very disturbing, but he gave me one message where he totally showed his ignorants in Christianity.

During the conversation, he talked about the Catholic Church is the “Whore of Babylon.” To prove it to me, he sent me a video he made where he saw an upside down cross. I looked at it, and to my suprise it was a video of an Anglican Church, LOL. He thinks the Anglican Church is part of the Catholic Church because they call themselves Catholic. I told him the history, but he said they are all the same.
 
promethius said:
This got a little long, but there’s some background that had to be understood first…

Okay, back when I was in college I was home visiting my Dad for a few weeks. Dad has a cockerspaniel named Thomas Aquinas, aka Tommy, who’s just about the most love-able dog, but like the rest of the breed, has problems holding his liquids in when he gets excited.

So anyway, I’m home. As a college student, I enjoy staying out late at starbucks with friends on Saturday nights (oh, the joy of coffee available 24/7!). I figure that this is why God invented the 10:30 am mass… it’s perfect for us night owls. If there was a Catholics Anonymous meeting, my line would have been, “Hi, my name is Paul, I’m a catholic and nothing short of a nuclear explosion gets me out of bed before 9:45 on weekends.”

But I digress… Sunday morning rolls around, and by Sunday morning I mean the “why God, why?” hours… namely six AM. There’s a pounding on the door, and Thomas, the lovingly excitable dog is spazzing out because he knows he’s gonna meet somebody new. For myself, I am slightly less excited about being woken up. In my grogginess, I utterly fail at stopping Tommy from getting out the door and freaking out about our 2 high school aged mormon boys. “Don’t pet the dog,” I say, “He pees when he’s too excited and he’s always excited when meeting new people.” They both nod. All of us are oblivious that God is about to deliver punishment for waking up one of His catholics before the alloted time…

The front one starts his schpeel that they’re the mormons and they have this that and the other program I can benefit from if I come to their church some time and blah blah blah… At this point, I’d lost interest because Tommy had walked up to the boy standing in back and put his front paws on his leg (basically, standing looking up at him). Here’s why you should always listen to catholics: when we tell you “don’t pet the dog” we’re not lying. He reaches down and absent mindedly gives Tommy a rub on the head… Tommy gets excited and he
pees.
all.
over.
this.
guys.
leg…
… and down into his shoe even.

Now, the look on the kids face is classic. I feel guilty of lack of charity, but I’ve got to say that seeing that made it pretty hard to keep a straight face. And the guy in front has no clue his friend just got peed on by our dog. He keeps talking… and talking… and talking… about what, I have no clue, because I’m too busy trying not to die laughing as the kid in back stands there wiggling his foot. Finally, the kid in back can’t stand that anymore, grabs the other kid’s sleeve and says something about me looking busy and tired and they should let me get back to sleep.

The poor dog had disappeared inside the second he peed. He knew he was in trouble, he’s always in trouble when he pees on the floor, and this time he had peed on a PERSON. I’m sure he was confused when I tossed him a doggy treat and went back to bed until a more Godly hour of the morning…
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
My sister and I used to have discussions about Catholic vs. Protestant theology.

Eventually she helped me understand what the Catholic faith REALLY teaches, as opposed to what I’d been fed. Anyway, despite all of her hard work there was just one issue that I couldn’t wrap my head around and one afternoon I said to her;

“Sorry, I understand Mary and the saints and all that other stuff now but there’s just one thing I cannot understand.”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“WHY do you EAT Jesus???”

There was a long pause and then she started laughing and unfortunately I wasn’t ready to hear the answer so once we were done giggling I told her not to explain it.

I understand now but it took years before I was ready to hear why you Catholics ‘eat Jesus’. 🙂

I dunno, I thought it was funny.
 
montanaman said:
Funniest/scariest thing: When street preachers would invade campus, I’d always ride my bike up to them and ask from the crowd if they had any anti-Catholic literature. They’d invariably get excited and say “Yes!” I’d take it, then continually rudely interrupt them as I went through the pamphlets. I’d say, “Excuse me, but this says we worship Mary. Why are you bearing false witness?”
Click to expand...
I love you. 😃
 
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