Funny "Hiccup" at Mass Today

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WillyAL

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As a non-Catholic with a Catholic wife, I almost always attend Sunday Mass with her. After many years of weekly Mass attendance, I pretty much know how things are supposed to go, and I usually recognize it when something goes awry.

This week our typically laid-back priest is on vacation, so we had a substitute - a retired priest who could best be described as “old school.” He had a somewhat stern demeanor, and before Mass I heard him criticizing the ushers because some were not wearing jackets and ties, commenting about our parish’s “unnecessary use” of Eucharistic Ministers, and telling the cantor that she was not a performer and to make sure she “keeps it toned down.” So, the mood was set.

Anyway…fast forward to the Gospel. As the Gospel Acclamation is sung Father takes his place at the ambo. After a few seconds of silence he begins:

Fr: “The Lord be with you.”
Congregation: “And with your spirit.”
Fr: “Lift up your hearts.”
Congregation: (somewhat confused) “Uhhhh, we lift them up to the Lord?”
Fr: “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”
Congregation: (totally confused) “It is right and…snicker, snicker, snicker.”

Father favored the congregation with a severely disapproving look and began proclaiming the Gospel. About halfway through he suddenly stopped. He turned bright red, and doing his best to stifle a fit of laughter, he finished the Gospel.

Fast forward again to the Eucharistic Prayer:

Fr: “I know we’ve done this already, but…The Lord be with you”

The whole congregation was struggling to suppress their laughter.

After Mass he joined us for coffee and doughnuts. Our parish priest typically does not offer a prayer on this occasion, but this priest sternly insisted that a prayer would be appropriate. We all put down our doughnuts and stood.

Fr: (Who suddenly had a big grin on his face) “The Lord be with you.”

The entire assembly of doughnut eaters exploded with laughter. Everyone ended up staying for about two hours listening to Father tell stories about his years as a priest. As it turns out, the guy is a laugh riot - something we would have missed out on if it hadn’t been for a small mistake.
 
WillyAL said:
Congregation: (somewhat confused) “Uhhhh, we lift them up to the Lord?”
Congregation: (totally confused) “It is right and…snicker, snicker, snicker.”
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This has SOOOOO got to be made part of the official responses. 😃

I have no doubt that during the doughnut reception, the Lord was indeed with them.
 
That is so funny.

God has a sense of humor. I bet he was laughing too.
 
That’s funny. 🙂 And sometimes it takes something like that to break the ice and allow us to get to know someone better.

We had a hiccup at Mass today too, but it didn’t cause the laughter yours did, just confused looks. Indeed, we had the same hiccup at Mass last week too.

Father opted for Eucharistic Prayer 2, the one most frequently used in our parish. So far so good. We get to the “Mystery of Faith” and after the response, confusion. I have to check the altar Missal because it appears that the pages are stuck together. It’s the only thing that explains that for the last two weeks he prayed EP2 until the Mystery of Faith and EP4 afterwards.

He has his quirks (goes straight to the Kyrie after introducing the Penitential Rite, does the preparation of bread and wine simultaneously instead of as two separate actions) but I can’t believe he would opt to mix the EPs together.
 
WillyAL said:
As a non-Catholic with a Catholic wife, I almost always attend Sunday Mass with her. After many years of weekly Mass attendance, I pretty much know how things are supposed to go, and I usually recognize it when something goes awry.

This week our typically laid-back priest is on vacation, so we had a substitute - a retired priest who could best be described as “old school.” He had a somewhat stern demeanor, and before Mass I heard him criticizing the ushers because some were not wearing jackets and ties, commenting about our parish’s “unnecessary use” of Eucharistic Ministers, and telling the cantor that she was not a performer and to make sure she “keeps it toned down.” So, the mood was set.

Anyway…fast forward to the Gospel. As the Gospel Acclamation is sung Father takes his place at the ambo. After a few seconds of silence he begins:

Fr: “The Lord be with you.”
Congregation: “And with your spirit.”
Fr: “Lift up your hearts.”
Congregation: (somewhat confused) “Uhhhh, we lift them up to the Lord?”
Fr: “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”
Congregation: (totally confused) “It is right and…snicker, snicker, snicker.”

Father favored the congregation with a severely disapproving look and began proclaiming the Gospel. About halfway through he suddenly stopped. He turned bright red, and doing his best to stifle a fit of laughter, he finished the Gospel.

Fast forward again to the Eucharistic Prayer:

Fr: “I know we’ve done this already, but…The Lord be with you”

The whole congregation was struggling to suppress their laughter.

After Mass he joined us for coffee and doughnuts. Our parish priest typically does not offer a prayer on this occasion, but this priest sternly insisted that a prayer would be appropriate. We all put down our doughnuts and stood.

Fr: (Who suddenly had a big grin on his face) “The Lord be with you.”

The entire assembly of doughnut eaters exploded with laughter. Everyone ended up staying for about two hours listening to Father tell stories about his years as a priest. As it turns out, the guy is a laugh riot - something we would have missed out on if it hadn’t been for a small mistake.
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At least he did not say “Christ is Risen” on Christmas, like our priest at a TLM did! 😃
 
Phemie said:
Father opted for Eucharistic Prayer 2, the one most frequently used in our parish. So far so good. We get to the “Mystery of Faith” and after the response, confusion. I have to check the altar Missal because it appears that the pages are stuck together. It’s the only thing that explains that for the last two weeks he prayed EP2 until the Mystery of Faith and EP4 afterwards.
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I wonder how many people even noticed. I always read along so, like you, I’d wonder what was up. But I bet a majority of the congregation just kind of zones out during the EP. At least at my parish.
 
Thanks for sharing; this made my day!~ I’m so glad he stayed to tell stories so you could appreciate his humor even more.

In thanksgiving for our priests who dedicate their lives to serving Christ and his people we pray to the Lord,

Lord, hear our prayer.

Mary.
 
Phemie said:
That’s funny. 🙂 And sometimes it takes something like that to break the ice and allow us to get to know someone better.

We had a hiccup at Mass today too, but it didn’t cause the laughter yours did, just confused looks. Indeed, we had the same hiccup at Mass last week too.

Father opted for Eucharistic Prayer 2, the one most frequently used in our parish. So far so good. We get to the “Mystery of Faith” and after the response, confusion. I have to check the altar Missal because it appears that the pages are stuck together. It’s the only thing that explains that for the last two weeks he prayed EP2 until the Mystery of Faith and EP4 afterwards.

He has his quirks (goes straight to the Kyrie after introducing the Penitential Rite, does the preparation of bread and wine simultaneously instead of as two separate actions) but I can’t believe he would opt to mix the EPs together.
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How odd. Eucharistic prayer IV is a modern composition modeled on the Eastern anaphoras and has an entirely different voice from Eucharistic Prayer II, which is rooted in the third century. It is rather confounding to me that a priest could conflate the two accidentally…those two above all. You should casually mention this experience to the priest…perhaps he somehow grabbed the wrong tab of the missal.
 
WillyAL said:
As a non-Catholic with a Catholic wife, I almost always attend Sunday Mass with her. After many years of weekly Mass attendance, I pretty much know how things are supposed to go, and I usually recognize it when something goes awry.

This week our typically laid-back priest is on vacation, so we had a substitute - a retired priest who could best be described as “old school.” He had a somewhat stern demeanor, and before Mass I heard him criticizing the ushers because some were not wearing jackets and ties, commenting about our parish’s “unnecessary use” of Eucharistic Ministers, and telling the cantor that she was not a performer and to make sure she “keeps it toned down.” So, the mood was set.

Anyway…fast forward to the Gospel. As the Gospel Acclamation is sung Father takes his place at the ambo. After a few seconds of silence he begins:

Fr: “The Lord be with you.”
Congregation: “And with your spirit.”
Fr: “Lift up your hearts.”
Congregation: (somewhat confused) “Uhhhh, we lift them up to the Lord?”
Fr: “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”
Congregation: (totally confused) “It is right and…snicker, snicker, snicker.”

Father favored the congregation with a severely disapproving look and began proclaiming the Gospel. About halfway through he suddenly stopped. He turned bright red, and doing his best to stifle a fit of laughter, he finished the Gospel.

Fast forward again to the Eucharistic Prayer:

Fr: “I know we’ve done this already, but…The Lord be with you”

The whole congregation was struggling to suppress their laughter.

After Mass he joined us for coffee and doughnuts. Our parish priest typically does not offer a prayer on this occasion, but this priest sternly insisted that a prayer would be appropriate. We all put down our doughnuts and stood.

Fr: (Who suddenly had a big grin on his face) “The Lord be with you.”

The entire assembly of doughnut eaters exploded with laughter. Everyone ended up staying for about two hours listening to Father tell stories about his years as a priest. As it turns out, the guy is a laugh riot - something we would have missed out on if it hadn’t been for a small mistake.
Click to expand...
I’m glad he had a sense of humour…and that he allowed you to glimpse it in such an occasion. There is a moment when laughing at yourself is the best – and even the only possible – response.

Yes…as one decade is added to another and to another, one does accumulate quite a treasure trove of stories…ranging from the fantastic to the absurd, from the humourous to the tragic. The books that could be written by some of us…but, for all that, would never be believed – well, except by other priests.
 
Great story. I love the way that the Mass is always the same, and yet can be very different!

At the main Mass yesterday in my little rural Italian village, the fairly sparse, mostly elderly congregation (in a huge church) was treated to a homily that ran for over 20 minutes - the Mass would have been over in half an hour otherwise, as there are never any hymns.

I don’t speak much Italian, so I was trying to follow the gist of what Father was saying, but the row in front of me was getting restless, making comments and shifting around. We get to the end of the Mass, we stand and Father starts reading the notices before the Benediction. A full ten minutes later, most of the congregation have given up and have sat down again.

Another regional difference - one small boy (probably 8 years old) goes around the whole church with the offertory box. I noticed that he didn’t get that many takers. The elderly lady opposite me gave him a hard stare and he retreated quickly. 😃
 
Don_Ruggero said:
How odd. Eucharistic prayer IV is a modern composition modeled on the Eastern anaphoras and has an entirely different voice from Eucharistic Prayer II, which is rooted in the third century. It is rather confounding to me that a priest could conflate the two accidentally…those two above all. You should casually mention this experience to the priest…perhaps he somehow grabbed the wrong tab of the missal.
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He’s from India and English is his second, perhaps even third, language. He might have noticed the difference in the voices if he was praying it in his mother tongue.

There are a few things that have struck me as odd since he became our administrator upon the death of our Pastor in January. They may be just cultural differences but I found it odd that a priest would be surprised that the Easter Vigil had to be celebrated after dark. He seemed quite puzzled by that when we mentioned it.

While other things about the Triduum (such as the empty Tabernacle for the Mass of the Lord’s Supper, which he also didn’t seem to know about) are a little less well known and I’ve seen priests refresh their memories by rereading Paschale Solemnitatis or the Ordo notes for the Triduum before the start of Holy Week, I wouldn’t have thought the timing of the Vigil would be one of those. But apparently that was new to him so maybe they don’t concern themselves so much with those things in India. Or he may simply never have had parish experience before and never had to think of those things because someone else always did. Guess I have to get to know him a bit better.
 
Faxero said:
:confused: I don’t get the joke.
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At the Gospel he mistakenly used the Preface Dialogue instead of the Gospel Dialogue. When he realized what he’d done he knew people had to have found it funny. I’m sure when they got to the Preface Dialogue he could see they were struggling not to laugh out loud so when they were at coffee, instead of “Let us pray” or simply, “Lord, …” he purposely started the Preface Dialogue again to poke fun at himself.
 
Phemie said:
At the Gospel he mistakenly used the Preface Dialogue instead of the Gospel Dialogue. When he realized what he’d done he knew people had to have found it funny. I’m sure when they got to the Preface Dialogue he could see they were struggling not to laugh out loud so when they were at coffee, instead of “Let us pray” or simply, “Lord, …” he purposely started the Preface Dialogue again to poke fun at himself.
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:yup: Thanks man.
 
Don_Ruggero said:
Yes…as one decade is added to another and to another, one does accumulate quite a treasure trove of stories…ranging from the fantastic to the absurd, from the humourous to the tragic. The books that could be written by some of us…but, for all that, would never be believed – well, except by other priests.
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Yes, this gentleman certainly had a “treasure trove of stories.” Plus, he was absolutely the best and most humorous story teller I have ever encountered. If he hadn’t had to leave to celebrate the last Mass of the day at the cathedral, we’d probably all still be sitting there, spellbound by his stories.
 
I’m sorry but I don’t find a non-Catholic coming on the largest Catholic website in the world to advertise the character faults and mistakes of an elderly priest to be funny at all.

I would suggest that the OP correct his own faults before he proffers the faults of member of our clergy for our amusement.

-Tim-
 
Faxero said:
:confused: I don’t get the joke.
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Me either.

But then I’ve been to a few Masses where the priest spoke broken English and everyone laughed but me.
Phemie said:
At the Gospel he mistakenly used the Preface Dialogue instead of the Gospel Dialogue. When he realized what he’d done he knew people had to have found it funny. I’m sure when they got to the Preface Dialogue he could see they were struggling not to laugh out loud so when they were at coffee, instead of “Let us pray” or simply, “Lord, …” he purposely started the Preface Dialogue again to poke fun at himself.
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The point is what’s so funny about that? Are people just looking for something to laugh at at that point in the Mass?
 
I love the story! 😃

A priest of ours did something similar. Just before the final blessing, Father responded to And with your spirit with Lift up your hearts.
 
The priest as our military chapel had become quite fond of the hymn that goes, “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty / Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee…”

So one Sunday, during Mass, he begins reciting “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of Hosts…” he goes into the lyrics of the hymn, “Lord God Almighty”. My husband and I were in the front row and Father paused and looked at my husband. My husband whispered the correct words and Father had to struggle to keep a straight face. For a couple weeks afterward, he would send a glance at my husband as if to say, “Don’t let me mess up!”
 
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