Funny Mass memories

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Beno

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Most of the threads here are pretty weighty. How about sharing some light-hearted stories of funny things that have happened at Mass? 🙂
 
Well,
Beno the only funny thing I find when I go to Mass with my Mum is how fast she says the prayers. She probably means what she says but it sounds like she’s trying to race the priest and the congregation in finishing the prayer 😛 But I know she isn’t thinking that.

-Alison
 
I’ll go next.

At an Easter Vigil Mass, our priest was sprinkling the assembly with Holy Water. It was quite the surprise when an exposed light bulb caught a single drop of cool water. It was unforgettable to see everyone react to the light bulb popping, especially the priest with his surprised and apologetic face.

A little boy had managed to sneak in his favorite toy at a regular Sunday Mass. During the closing song, the choir found itself accompanied by not only the piano, but by the boy’s toy harmonica. The little boy’s mom and everyone else who heard him apparently found it amusing as well. At the next choir rehearsal, one of the ornery choir members brought his own harmonica and jubilantly added it to one of the songs being rehearsed. The choir and the choir director all bust out laughing having remembered the incident the Sunday before. It was great!

We used some tasteful percussion with the Contemporary Choir for some songs. One of those percussion instruments was a little shaker that could sound identical to those lawn sprinklers that water in a circular area and return quickly to the starting point to begin again. After the priest drenched the choir with holy water with a branch of greenery during the sprinkling rite, I told him I would make the sprinkler sound with the shaker the next time. He said he would make sure to come back around for an extra blessing if I did! I enjoyed his response.
 
I told this story already, but it is too funny, when we were having Mass in our temporary quarters the organist was using one of those portable keyboards that has all kinds of settings, and somebody accidentally flipped the switch for the rhythm section, and we had our processional “Adeste Fideles” sounding like something from Barry Manilow – at the Copa, Copacabana . . . even Father had a chuckle.
 
Funny Ann!

I haven’t seen anything that funny yet but our priest tells this story of a time when he was sprinkling holy water and the little ball or spout came flying off only to hit this very tall bald man right in the head!
 
oooh ooooh we had one very short deacon and one very tall priest, so I guess they each are used to a different trajectory when they swing that incense thingy (censer?), oops, sorry deacon, did that hurt?
 
A few years ago, my daughter was making her first communion. My husband was in charge of getting our then-3 year old daughter ready for church that day. All went well until after the ceremony, when the 3yo went up on the altar to get her picture taken. She then lifted up her dress to show everyone that daddy had forgotten to put underwear on her!😃
 
mommyof4 said:
A few years ago, my daughter was making her first communion. My husband was in charge of getting our then-3 year old daughter ready for church that day. All went well until after the ceremony, when the 3yo went up on the altar to get her picture taken. She then lifted up her dress to show everyone that daddy had forgotten to put underwear on her!😃
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:rotfl:

My youngest did the SAME thing when she was bout three!
 
When my godson’s older brother Nicky was about 3-4, his family lived in Laughlin, Nevada. The church had not been built yet, so Mass was held in a conference room at one of the casinos. After mass, the family would go to eat at the buffet.

When Nicky’s family moved for a time to New Mexico, they had occasion to attend Mass at Sacred Heart Cathedral in Gallup. On the way in, Nicky said,“This is a big church. Do they have a buffet?”
 
After the gospel reading at a mass I attended last July, the priest went and sat down. Everyone looked around confused. Then things got even more confusing as Silent Night began playing from the organ. The priest then stood up and did his homily on the spirit of Christmas and how important it is to keep that attitude all year long. I didn’t see the big deal, but all the cradle Catholics I know were quite confused and shocked at such a thing!

Maybe not funny, but interesting.
 
JKirkLVNV said:
When my godson’s older brother Nicky was about 3-4, his family lived in Laughlin, Nevada. The church had not been built yet, so Mass was held in a conference room at one of the casinos. After mass, the family would go to eat at the buffet.

When Nicky’s family moved for a time to New Mexico, they had occasion to attend Mass at Sacred Heart Cathedral in Gallup. On the way in, Nicky said,“This is a big church. Do they have a buffet?”
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Cute!😃
 
JKirkLVNV said:
When my godson’s older brother Nicky was about 3-4, his family lived in Laughlin, Nevada. The church had not been built yet, so Mass was held in a conference room at one of the casinos. After mass, the family would go to eat at the buffet.

When Nicky’s family moved for a time to New Mexico, they had occasion to attend Mass at Sacred Heart Cathedral in Gallup. On the way in, Nicky said,“This is a big church. Do they have a buffet?”
Click to expand...
That is so funny! More so because Sacred Heart Cathedral in Gallup is smaller than my own Parish Church here in NM!

I could tell a story about my sister and dad dressing her except I don’t remember all the details, I was only 1 week old when it happened! (Imagine, dad dressing 18 mo, mom 1 week post-partum getting herself and baby ready - then sitting in the front pew, deep voiced, very vocal, 18- mo “sharing” how daddy dressed her and what he forgot.)

Brenda V.
 
A few years ago, just after I moved to my parish, just as our priest elevated the host and all of our eyes were focused, over the loudspeaker used by the priest for his mic, we heard.

Center, we are now ascending to angels 45.

Somehow we were picking up a transmission from a military jet that had just gone over the church.

There wasn’t a straight face there.
 
Unfortunately I haven’t grown less prone to embarrassing moments with my passing years.

A few months ago I was at mass at a lovely but slightly cramped little chapel. I’m not the smallest person on the face of the planet, and the rows of seats were very close to each other, so I had a little difficulty kneeling and standing at the appropriate times.

I managed, however, until post-Communion we stood for the final blessing. One of my knees became twisted at an awkward angle and I keeled over onto my side - major embarrassment! :o
 
Many years ago, our very Irish priest was celebrating Mass assisted by a new altarboy. When Father put out his hand for the wine cruet, the boy poured wine into his palm.
Father hissed, “Just give me the bottle!”
 
we had a brand new priest who was in our parish for a couple of weeks visiting his family, and of course helping with Sunday Masses. apparently they ran out of hosts for the last Mass, and no one had the key to the tabernacle. We know what happened because he left his mike on in the sacristy for his conversation with the sacristan " well let’s take some of these and I can consecrate them retroactively". those of us in the last few pews still don’t know if we really received communion. I am sure he got some quick teaching from his superiors by the next day because we still have never let him live this down. he has gone on to become a very fine, orthodox pastor and a shining light for our diocese, so I guess even priests have a learning curve.
 
Sad, but still funny.

During the Eucharistic blessing, while everyone was silent, someone’s phone began ringing “Yellow Rose of Texas”. We figured it must belong to one of the Eucharistic ministers, because it played all the way through – nobody turned it off!
 
I was at the graduation Mass for one of our local Catholic high schools and was kneeling beside a friend who had her young niece with her.

At the elevation, when the server rang the bell (yes, we ring bells here) and with the congreation being totally silent, the little girl announced rather loudly “telephone”!

I noticed that even the bishop who was presiding had to smile at that.
 
Years ago, the lector was reading the bit in Genesis 15 about the smoking fire pot. Back then the text was “smoking brazier”( or maybe we had an old lectionary). Well, if you haven’t guessed yet, we got a reading about smoking ladies underwear. Old Frank didn’t skip a beat though, even with the entire congregation giggling immaturely. I was pretty young then, but I still remember that one vividly. 😃
 
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