Funny Mass memories

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This one was broadcast by a non-Catholic minister on a local radio station, obviously taking a poke at the cavalier responses made by a Catholic congregation at Mass.

A priest, after reading the opening prayers, found his mike not working so he asked in a raised voice, “What’s wrong with this mike?” To which the congregation responded “And also with you.”
 
Reading these posts I a reminded and reaffirmed at Our Lord’s wonderful sense of humor.😃
 
One Mothers’ Day, we got an interesting visitor at the 9am Mass. A man with long flowing hair and beard, dressed in a robe walked up the center aisle. He was wearing boondockers instead of sandles, but otherwise looked his part. He smiled and nodded at people, and took a seat beneath the skylight, which made a lovely halo effect around his head. After Mass he stood at one of the doors and thanked people for coming. Later that afternoon, we saw him riding a bike down my sister’s street; we’ve never seen him again. Our poor choir director just about had a coronary, but he’s a little excitable.
 
I know this probably shouldn’t be funny, but to a teenage boy, and many in the congregation, it was. When my husband was in highschool, he and his family attended a church that had a VERY OLD priest. My husband was also an altar boy for this priest. They think he must have been getting alzheimers at the time, because I know no priest would ever do this purpsosely. During the mass, this priest said, “Behold the leg of lamb.” If that wasn’t bad enough, at the same mass, he said, “The *** is mended. Let us go in Peace to Love and Serve the Lord.” My husband said everyone was trying to contain their laughter and shock and how could you receive communion after that.
 
Ok I was feeding my daughter in the pew and she kicked back I thought I was going to drop her so I try to grab her with both hands and when I do my right hand knocks the baby bottle all the way down the center Isle and if that wasnt bad enough after everyone was laughing only then did I realize that it hit the kid in the head who was sitting in front of me.:eek:
 
When my ds was just over 2, I left him with a friend to babysit while I went to an appointment with my doctor as I was pregnant with ds2. While he was staying with her, one of the houses in the neighbourhood caught on fire and burned to the ground and there was a big drama, with a man running out of the burning house in his underwear and all the ladies in the neighbourhood gathered around, holding their faces and saying “Oh, my God!, Oh, my God!”

The next Sunday we went to Mass and just when the Host was elevated and the whole church was quiet, ds piped up, in that very loud carrying voice that small children seem to have, with , “Oh, my God!”, in the same tone of voice that the neighbour ladies used about the burning house.

Although I was beet red with embarrassment, there were quite a few giggles to be heard. I was so lucky he at least said something appropriate and not something foul he’d picked up from his father. (like he did at the supermarket, waiting until the blue-haired old ladies were right next to the cart to unleash his new vocabulary)
 
Hi everyone,

Ever remember an event or incident that happened to you growing up at a Mass that made you laugh and/or possibly learning something from it at the time?

Our church was primarily “Senior Citizen” with no children’s activities (except for C.C.D.). The priest geared his homilies to this age group as well, and apparently I was not the only child who thought that church was ‘boring’ .

I was about 10 or 11 years old and we were sitting in the middle of the congregation. The priest was up there giving his homily.

I WHISPERED into my dad’s ear, “Church is boring!” Mind you there was no way the priest could have heard me.

However, immediately after saying that, Fr. Tahany is up there saying “Kids tell me all the time that church is boring. What do they think this is, Disneyland?”.

My dad remembers the expression on my face upon hearing that to this day and just has to say “Church is boring” to bring up that incident!

–Barbara
 
if I’ve told this before, forgive me, I am getting old. Our pastor when we were small was the famous radio priest, Fr. Coughlin of Detroit, who had a rather bombastic speaking style, especially from the pulpit. After a particularly forceful sermon my 2 yr old brother asked in a loud voice (the Shrine has excellent acoustics) “Daddy, is that man God?”
 
I’m the youngest, so I didn’t actually witness this, but it’s a funny family story. The day before my brother was making his First Communion, my sister (2 at the time) scratched his eye inadvertently. So he had to wear an eyepatch for his First Communion. My mom was really ticked (he probably brought it on himself) but my brother was excited- he was the only kid who looked like a PIRATE!
Payback- my brother now has 3 kids of his own!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
lak611 said:
My pastor told a story of when he was at another parish, the doors were open during Mass because it was hot and the church had no AC. During his homily, a dog walked in the church and started barking. Fido was escorted out the door by an usher, but Father figured that his homily was probably too long and due to be ended at that point.
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That happened in our parish, too. A dog had gotten into the church as the Processional was starting, and he ran right in front of the sanctuary steps just as Father was bending to kiss the altar. You saw his head come down straight, then abruptly turn to the side as Fido zoomed past. Of course the zealous pooch was captured and promptly shown the door – but Father was snickering as much as we all were as he started the Mass.
 
MarthaMartha said:
That happened in our parish, too. A dog had gotten into the church as the Processional was starting, and he ran right in front of the sanctuary steps just as Father was bending to kiss the altar. You saw his head come down straight, then abruptly turn to the side as Fido zoomed past. Of course the zealous pooch was captured and promptly shown the door – but Father was snickering as much as we all were as he started the Mass.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
For Midnight Mass at the Royal Canadian Air Force Stations in Trenton Ontario, in the early '60s, the Chaplains decided to pool their resources. With 2 stations and a Command HQ in Trenton, we had a station chaplain, a Jesuit, and a Command Chaplain, a Dominican. (The second station chaplaincy was vacant.) So, it was decided that the Dominican command chaplain would preside at a solemn pontifical high mass, organized by the station chaplain. Each would get a member of his order to come and assist, to make up the 3 priests needed (this was pre-concelebration), and the Jesuit chaplain would preach the homily.

As the senior altar server, I served Master. We all met with the Jesuit chaplain in the afternoon to rehearse (high masses we did often, but not the solemn pontificals), and Master Censor bearer and Acolytes had it down pat.

Or so we thought, until seconds after the Mass started. The Sub-Deacon was a Jesuit, but the Celebrant and Deacon were Dominicans, and they went right into – not the Tridentine Mass, but the Dominican Rite. And it was quite different. Though we got through it, some of the scrambling was pretty intense, for a ceremony that was supposed to be the height of, well, ceremony.

I was kind of upset after Mass, and asked the Jesuit sub-deacon how he had gotten on. He answered, “Are you kidding? I felt like a heretic out there.” Didn’t feel so bad after that.

Blessings,

Gerry
 
My in-laws try to sit at the back of the church now, because the luck in the family tends to run this way: “If something embarrassing is going to happen to us, it will only happen if we’re sitting near the front where everyone can see us!”

Years ago, Mom, Dad and SIL got to Mass just in time to slip into a pew (near the front, of course) and say a quick prayer before Mass started. Dad went in first, then Mom, then SIL. While Mom was setting her purse down and adjusting her veil, Dad and SIL quickly lowered the kneeler and dropped to their knees simultaneously.

On Mom’s foot.

She didn’t let out the blood-curdling scream that was building in her throat because, she couldn’t catch her breath. And Dad and SIL were totally oblivious, until it hit them that Mom hadn’t knelt down yet. When they looked up at her, they must have thought she was undergoing some kind of religious ecstasy. Finally Mom managed to gasp, “You’re on my foot!”

Yep. Back of the church from now on!
 
About 12 years ago or so, I took my two oldest daughters to church, and we were sitting very near the front. Right before mass began, my oldest informed me that she had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. Leaving dau #2 in the pew with my mother, I began walking #1 back to the restrooms. When we were almost all the way in the back, daughter #2 comes running down the aisle yellling “I have to go potty, too!” Yes, the whole congregation heard her, too.
 
A few weeks ago, three friends and myself were visiting a friary for mass. Of course, this means that the mass had only men there.

During the Confeitor, my friends and I said, out of habit, “I confess to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters…”. Of course, none of the friars said ‘sisters’, so it was just the four of us.
A moment later, when we got to “I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you my brothers and sisters…”, three of us corrected our previous mistake and didn’t say ‘sisters’, but one of us didn’t realize it. So, the room fell silent between ‘brothers’ and 'to pray for me…", but my friend to my left continued.

It was…mildly embarrassing for him.
 
I love this thread from now on whenever I am depressed or sad I will read it again, I am practically choking.

At a family wedding the maid of honor (only attendant) fainted, which gave the altar boy hysterics. Priest was an old hand so he went right on without batting an eye. At another family wedding the non-Catholic grandparents were deputized to keep a sharp eye on the 3-year old flower girl after her role was over, but she got away from them and still can be seen playing under the altar during the service. We fortunately have saved the video which will be played at her shower next year. Flower girls are always good for a dramatic touch. 4 yr old niece decided at the last minute she did not like her shoes, so she took them off, tossed them over the heads of the guests, and pranced barefoot down the aisle with her rose petals, which instead of scattering on the ground she threw up in the air like confetti.
 
We were visiting my parents and attending Mass at their Church. My high energy son was about 2 or 3 at the time. He was standing on the kneeler which put him at head level with the people seated in front of us, one of which was an elderly sister in habit. I can’t remember what part of the Mass it was, but it was quiet-too quiet for my son evidently because he sudently blurted out, “Hey”. The sister jumped and then slowly turned around and looked down through her bifocals at my son with a look like, what is the meaning of this, young man!! I really enjoyed the look of entertainment on my father’s face. I’ll never forget it.
 
I stood at the ambo/lectern to lead the Angelus when I discovered that the microphone was turned on but there was no sound. When I checked, the switches were in the proper position but when I went back to pray, there still was no sound! Lucky a campus minister helped me fix the problem, but not before I tried to use the priest’s microphone and blew into it, producing a sound that sounded like a great gust of wind (and to think we’re about to celebrate the mass of the Holy Spirit next month to prepare for the school year!) 😊

I also chuckle a bit at not fumbling the Psalm today despite a name I’d rather not mention (suffice it to say he is an Old Testament character). Prior to the mass, I was laughing nervously with my friend about the prospect 😊
 
Several years ago, right after mass, I asked my priest for a confession. We were standing on the front step of the Church and the wooden doors were closed. I got as far as “It has been x amount of time since my last-” when one of the ushers bursts out of the wooden door, and said hastily, “Father, your mic is still on!”

Phew! He caught us just in time before the whole Church heard my confession.
 
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