Funny Stories during mass?

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Maxwell03

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Do you have any funny stories or memories during mass that you just can’t forget about? I have one:

There was a time that me and a few buds had to serve 5 sunday masses 3 during the morning, and 2 around the afternoon and another evening mass. The first four masses went on smoothly and great; then came the fifth mass we were very tired and this mass was a novena mass we used incense, boat, cross, and 4 candles.

Before the entrance procession we were a bit drowsy and the priest kinda noticed so he said “Try not to burn anything boys.” luckily we didn’t burn anything. The mass went on smoothly and as usual until the end of the gospel we took our seat and we tried (well at least I tried) our best to listen to the homily but after a few words we were dead asleep, we woke up when we heard the priest say in a very loud voice “I BELIEVE IN GOD…” he was right infront of us with the face that says “I’ll talk to you lads later.” we panicked and jumped off our seat.

We still can’t take that memory out of our heads and whenever we see father he keeps on reminding us that and laughs.

Luckily the talk was about who assigned us 5 masses to serve and not the “Why did you fall asleep?”
 
Years ago, before churches were all air conditioned, they had the doors propped open to get some stair flow. In the middle of mass, a large dog wandered in and proceeded to walk up the center aisle to the altar. He was caught up there by an usher and escorted out.

Recently, we had a child run up the aisle and up onto the raised part where the altar is. Father smiled and paused. The child continued to run around, eluding Father, an usher and the child’s mother. She finally caught him and hauled him off to the back of the church again, with a huge smile on his face. This was the second time this kid did this…
 
The kid has talent I tell ya a lot of children do that here so its really common
 
I guess I was about 10 and had just started training to be an altar boy and I was supposed be at High Mass to observe. All of a sudden somebody grabs me and says the altar boys for the school Mass did not show up and get over there pronto. Huh? No chance to tell them I have no idea what I am doing. So I get there and it’s not a priest from the parish but a visiting priest so he don’t know me. I tell him ‘Father I don’t know what I’m doing’ Oh it will be okay. No Father you don’t understand I really don’t know what I am doing.’ So he says he will point out what I should be doing. Of course once Mass started he totaly forgot that little tidbit and I’m frozen like a rock with a whole bunch of Sisters of Charity in the first row giving me dirty looks and hand signals all at the same time. I was liturgical abuse personified! I rang those bells for five minutes just to be sure I did it at the right time!

But I guess it turned out okay…those same Sisters later on chose me to be a server for the daily convent Mass which was a big deal. Yeah you had to get up real early in the morning but you got fed and you were allowed to miss the first couple of classes.

Now whenever I see a little guy obviuosly in training at Mass I say a little prayer for him!
 
Same thing happened to my grandpa when he served back at Hospicio de San Jose the sisters of charity gave him looks he said it was terrifying to anger a nun back then.
 
No funny stories from Liturgy, but one time when we were walking from our grandmother’s house to Church, a bird pooped on my sister. We were about 8 and 10 at the time.
 
They were tough but they were fair. I remember many of them with fondness.
 
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Might have told this before (maybe on the old forum). Midnight mass, Christmas eve, early 70’s. Mass was over and the music leader announced the recessional hymn would be 'Joy to the World." The organist hit the first note and a small voice of a child about eight somewhere in the middle of the congregation belted “Jeremiah was a bullfrog” (the first few words to Three Dog Night’s rock hit of the time, Joy to the World.") I don’t think anyone stopped laughing til they got to the parking lot.
Guess you had to be there.
 
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