Funny surahs in the Qu'ran

  • Thread starter Thread starter Eucharisted
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

Eucharisted

Guest
[23.11] Who shall inherit the Paradise; they shall abide therein.
How redundant can you get?
[2.111] And they say: None shall enter the garden (or paradise) except he who is a Jew or a Christian. These are their vain desires. Say: Bring your proof if you are truthful.
This is laughable for two reasons: Jews believe that everyone - Jew and non-Jew - goes to Heaven, and Christians believe every righteus soul - Christian and non-Christian - goes to Heaven.
[2.121]Those to whom We have given the Book read it as it ought to be read. These believe in it; and whoever disbelieves in it, these it is that are the losers.
So Christias and Jews do read the Bible corectly - and here I thought the Bible was corrupted. (The Book is the Bible, and this is proven by surah 2.113)
[6.39] And they who reject Our communications are deaf and dumb, in utter darkness; whom Allah pleases He causes to err and whom He pleases He puts on the right way.
Allah is the cause of guidance and of error? Okay.
 
The Qur’an was revealed in the Arabic language, not the English language.

Do you know the meaning of the word “Surah?”
 
The Qur’an was revealed in the Arabic language, not the English language.

Do you know the meaning of the word “Surah?”
SURA
SURAH
Syraic surta: writing, text of Scripture, Scripture; a chapter of the Qur’an.

SURAH. Lit. “A row or series.” A term used exclusively for the chapters of the Qur’an, of which there are one hundred and fourteen in number.

These chapters are called after some word which occurs in the text, e.g. Suratu ’l-Hadid, the “Chapter of Iron.”

The ancient Jews divided the whole law of Moses into forty-five siderim or “sections,” which were named after the same manner as the surahs of the Qur’an. (Hughes’ Dictionary of Islam, p. 623)

Interestingly, the Encyclopedia of Islam mentions that the word sura is of unknown origin.

There are many theories that its origin is Hebrew or Syriac, but there is no consensus. In particular, for such a common and important word, commentators have not been able to connect it convincingly to any Arabic root.

It seems to sugggest that this might be a foreign word, as we remember that Muhammad went to Syria for trade missions before his marriage.
 
The Qur’an was revealed in the Arabic language, not the English language.

Do you know the meaning of the word “Surah?”
Surah \Su"rah, n. A soft twilled silk fabric much used for women’s dresses; – called also surah silk.

Source: Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)
 
The Qur’an was revealed in the Arabic language, not the English language.

Do you know the meaning of the word “Surah?”
If the definitions from the Internet are not satisfactory, perhaps then you can explain what it means with references please.
 
SURA
SURAH
Syraic surta: writing, text of Scripture, Scripture; a chapter of the Qur’an.

SURAH. Lit. “A row or series.” A term used exclusively for the chapters of the Qur’an, of which there are one hundred and fourteen in number.

These chapters are called after some word which occurs in the text, e.g. Suratu ’l-Hadid, the “Chapter of Iron.”

The ancient Jews divided the whole law of Moses into forty-five siderim or “sections,” which were named after the same manner as the surahs of the Qur’an. (Hughes’ Dictionary of Islam, p. 623)

Interestingly, the Encyclopedia of Islam mentions that the word sura is of unknown origin.

There are many theories that its origin is Hebrew or Syriac, but there is no consensus. In particular, for such a common and important word, commentators have not been able to connect it convincingly to any Arabic root.

It seems to sugggest that this might be a foreign word, as we remember that Muhammad went to Syria for trade missions before his marriage.
Disregarding the totally irrelevant comments which attempt to shed doubt on the divine nature of the Qur’an… this was a really neat post! 👍

I would settle for the very basic meaning of “a chapter of the Qur’an.”

You did a lot of hard work researching it, though. Cool. 🙂
 
Red Herring fallacy.
Maybe.

A surah is a chapter in the Qur’an, that’s what I was getting at. You quoted a verse here, a verse there, the correct word for which is ayah.

Saying “Funny surahs” is like “funny chapters,” so you’d need to point out whole chapters you found amusing. 🤷

Didn’t you used to be a Muslim?
 
Maybe.

A surah is a chapter in the Qur’an, that’s what I was getting at. You quoted a verse here, a verse there, the correct word for which is ayah.

Saying “Funny surahs” is like “funny chapters,” so you’d need to point out whole chapters you found amusing. 🤷

Didn’t you used to be a Muslim?
I’ve never been a Muslim. I was an atheist, and now I’m Catholic.
 
Ok, change the title to “Funny Ayats in the Qu’ran” and the thread is still on point and valid. Of course, distracting from those actual Ayats and what they say by pointing out to a semantic error is a good tactic of avoidance.
 
How redundant can you get?
It’s more of a matter of language I suppose. I always figured you could inherit something, but not live in it, or do anything with it. Pointing out redundancy in this case just seems… I don’t know, ridiculous. The Bible has lots of redundancies, although a little more spaced out.
This is laughable for two reasons: Jews believe that everyone - Jew and non-Jew - goes to Heaven, and Christians believe every righteus soul - Christian and non-Christian - goes to Heaven.
It would help if you included more than just this part. I don’t know who the “they” here is, after all. I know some people who say this and they’re not Muslim, so I’m having trouble figuring out who has “vain desires,” the people speaking, the Jews and Christians… or is it just the Christians?
So Christias and Jews do read the Bible corectly - and here I thought the Bible was corrupted. (The Book is the Bible, and this is proven by surah 2.113)
Actually, I thought it was argued from a Muslim’s stand point that because the Bible has corrupted material in it, Christians and Jews don’t read it correctly otherwise they wouldn’t be Christians or Jews. Although in the case I presented, “it” would have to be the Bible in its “pure” form.🤷
Allah is the cause of guidance and of error? Okay.
Why not? I will admit to some difficult stomaching the second part attached to the first, but they are discussing people who reject communion with God. I know we might argue that God known to Christians and God known to Muslims might be different, but this chapter? is discussing God’s whims and people who don’t listen to him. The second part sounds fine by itself, it basically says he does what he pleases, although it seems to add this hint of no free-will. The first part just says people who don’t listen, to God, are in darkness; it does hint that there is some free-will to ignore Him.

None of this seemed very off to me, considering its source. Blast, it’s a long post…
 
How redundant can you get?
This post is, as far as I can see, just an expression of religious bigotry. Funny passages in the Qur’an? How about funny passages in the Bible, there’s no shortage of those. Or how about the Torah – I’m sure you could present a few passages from there out of their context and have some fun with them too.

Do you think mocking other people’s religions is a legitimate form of entertainment?
 
Hey, if you have any funny verses in the Bible, make a thread about them. I’m not against humor.
 
This post is, as far as I can see, just an expression of religious bigotry. Funny passages in the Qur’an? How about funny passages in the Bible, there’s no shortage of those. Or how about the Torah – I’m sure you could present a few passages from there out of their context and have some fun with them too.

Do you think mocking other people’s religions is a legitimate form of entertainment?
I agree with you.
 
Disregarding the totally irrelevant comments which attempt to shed doubt on the divine nature of the Qur’an… this was a really neat post! 👍

I would settle for the very basic meaning of “a chapter of the Qur’an.”

You did a lot of hard work researching it, though. Cool. 🙂
The koran puts doubts on its divine nature all by itself. The contradictions, and it even says that the Bible is the ‘truth from the Lord’. surah 10:94.

The koran makes it appear that a god cannot remember from one day to the next. And when it calls allah the ‘greatest of deceivers’ - how can you trust it?
 
Hey, if you have any funny verses in the Bible, make a thread about them. I’m not against humor.
They are having a problem with this thread as if it is mocking the koran. I took the word ‘funny’ as to mean ‘ironic’, or ‘contradictory’.

Because I found nothing funny, or light hearted, in the koran.
 
your understanding is flawed Eucharisted. In some cases it is the result of an incomplete translation, a translation that doesn’t portray the complete meaning of the verses. The reason for this is because often times meanings are lost in translation. in other cases it is a result of conjecture, presupposition and ignorance on your part.

[23.11] Who shall inherit the Paradise; they shall abide therein.
How redundant can you get?
There is an explicit (forever) appended to they shall abide therein. The Arabic word used for they shall abide therein implies a place of permanence. In other words, it is not a temporary place, there are no tests or trials where one can lose his place in paradise, rather, it is a permanent place where those who inherit it will abide in forever.

Abdulah yusuf Ali, gives the correct meaning by adding the word forever in brackets. he did this because the word “khalidun” in the original arabic of this verse means forever.
[Yusufali 23:11] Who will inherit Paradise: they will dwell therein (for ever).

[2.111] And they say: None shall enter the garden (or paradise) except he who is a Jew or a Christian. These are their vain desires. Say: Bring your proof if you are truthful.
This is laughable for two reasons: Jews believe that everyone - Jew and non-Jew - goes to Heaven, and Christians believe every righteus soul - Christian and non-Christian - goes to Heaven.
, perhaps that is the case now in our time after many leading Christian and Jewish theologians helped to form this view.I highly doubt this was the belief of most christians and jews in 600.A.D. I havn’t seen any evidence from that time period to substantiate your view.

[2.121]Those to whom We have given the Book read it as it ought to be read. These believe in it; and whoever disbelieves in it, these it is that are the losers.
So Christias and Jews do read the Bible corectly - and here I thought the Bible was corrupted. (The Book is the Bible, and this is proven by surah 2.113)
I don’t know whether to laugh or pity you here, if you read the verse carefully, it says those to whome we have given “the book”. The singular noun is used to describe 1 book, not 2, not 3. Jews and Christians don’t share a common book, Jews have the Torah, and Christians have the Gospel or OT + NT, while there is overlap it is not a single book shared by both. You should have been able to figure out from the language alone that this verse is refering to the Qur’an and not the bible. Second, the Quran nowhere refers to the bible or the torah in the singular noun “the book”, and finally all the books of commentary whether sunni or shia agree that this verse is describing the quality of those who read the Qur’an correctly.

[6.39] And they who reject Our communications are deaf and dumb, in utter darkness; whom Allah pleases He causes to err and whom He pleases He puts on the right way.
Allah is the cause of guidance and of error? Okay.
you understood wrong, this is a common misunderstanding so don’t feel bad as you’re not alone.

For Allah (swt) to put someone “on the right way” means that someone is guided by Allah (swt). The absence of Allah’s guidance leads the person to become lost and to fend for himself. If it were the way you suggest, the unbelievers and sinners would come up with any excuse to say “Oh God, we wanted your guidance but you caused us to go astray”

Therefore, from the very beginning, Allah leads everyone to happiness, felicity and the right path and in this stage there can be no misguidance. But if someone willfully does not accept this call and turns his back towards it. then in this case he incurs Allah’s misguidance, which means He cuts off His guidance from that person and leaves him to fend for himself. The result is that person becomes lost on the path of guidance. Being lost or in error then, is caused by not having Allah’s guidance.

Think Allah’s misguidance as a type of punishment. In other words the bad people have gone astray and have been afflicted with misguidance by their own choice. Therefore in reality, initial misguidance is ascribed to the creatures, and the misguidance that is a punishment pertains to the Creator.
 
How redundant can you get?
This is laughable for two reasons: Jews believe that everyone - Jew and non-Jew - goes to Heaven, and Christians believe every righteus soul - Christian and non-Christian - goes to Heaven.
I think that where there are 10 Jews, there are 11 opinions. You will find Jews that say what you say, and Jews that say that only observant Jews are saved.

Regarding Christians - you are not displaying even the RC point of view (as far as I understand it) correctly.
It is the clear and obvious testimony of the Bible that a non-believer cannot be saved.
It may come down to how you define righteous, then, but the context suggests a different use than the one you used.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top