Fustration is winning the war

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army_girl

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I realize that there is a lot of confession questions here, but I felt one more couldn’t hurt 🙂
I can’t talk to a Priest, I try but end up making a fool out of myself. Even when it is something so important I can’t say it, I will babble on like a six yr old. Not only do I sound like I’m six, I look like it as well. I am all twitchy and nervous, I couldn’t sit still I my life depended on it.
All I want to do is go to confession, a proper one where I actually remember why I’m there. I usually end up speaking so low and confusing that the poor Priest has no idea what I’m trying to confess! I am about to make an appointment with my Priest to have my marriage convalidated, I want to be open and honest, and have confession, but can’t.
Does anyone have any ‘trick’s’ up their selves that they can share, or advice that can help me be me???

Amanda
 
hmmm, well let me say first that I am a very quiet person who does not talk very much. I tend to mumble at times but in the confessional I am so prepared, have thought over my sins so thoroughly, and said them over and over in my mind so many times I can do it. Just make sure you know what you are going to confess before you go in there. Run through the whole confession in your head a few times. It helps. 👍
 
I get that way too, but I am working through it. It helped me to admit to the priest that I am nervous, even though I knew he already knew it. He has truely seen me at my worst, which is good. I am very thankful for that. I don’t want to pretend that I am calm and mature when I am not. I need his help. Beyond that I remind myself that Christ gives peace to our souls and frees us from anxiety. In Confession we get the peace back. For me this happens after I leave the priest. My advice is to just accept that you will probably be nervous because you respect the priest and you see Christ in him. The priest will understand.
 
Amanda it’s important to have your marriage convalidated, before getting concerned about confession as it’s necessary for the sake of receiving the other Sacraments that your marriage be made valid. Just try to state clearly and simply that you weren’t married in the Church, so could he please help get the process for convalidation under way as soon as he may. Try not to link this issue in your mind with Confession for this particular appointment.

I ask the Lord to help you approach things with peace and trust. Many people go through these things, so please don’t be nervous about approaching your priest. 🙂
 
There are times when it can be helpful to write your “list” on paper to take with you. You write down your sins, remembering any mortal sins need to include kind and number. You can basically read it aloud once you have finished the “opening dialogue.” I suggest completely destroying it afterwards.
 
Actually, six year olds probably have much less trouble with this than we older Catholics do, because they don’t put such a heavy load of expectations on themselves.

Talk with your confessor outside of confession about your frustrations. I don’t mean to look for “tricks”, although he might have suggestions. I just mean to let him know what you’re going through. He’s going to tell you that you aren’t unusual. Lowering both your expectations and your anxiety level might help you out.

It sometimes also helps to tell the priest before you start that you tend to really feel nervous in the confessional and sometimes forget what you are about. Then go as slowly as you need to. It is funny, but admitting that upfront sometimes does wonders for the nerves.
 
army_girl said:
I realize that there is a lot of confession questions here, but I felt one more couldn’t hurt 🙂
I can’t talk to a Priest, I try but end up making a fool out of myself. Even when it is something so important I can’t say it, I will babble on like a six yr old. Not only do I sound like I’m six, I look like it as well. I am all twitchy and nervous, I couldn’t sit still I my life depended on it.
All I want to do is go to confession, a proper one where I actually remember why I’m there. I usually end up speaking so low and confusing that the poor Priest has no idea what I’m trying to confess! I am about to make an appointment with my Priest to have my marriage convalidated, I want to be open and honest, and have confession, but can’t.
Does anyone have any ‘trick’s’ up their selves that they can share, or advice that can help me be me???

Amanda
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If you have trouble delivering a coherent confession, write it out beforehand word for word. I know. I know. People really HATE that and they’'ll caution you about scrupulosity, but there’s nothing like writing it down for pinning it down.

I know a priest who used to write out his homilies down to the last semicolon. “How do I know what I think until I see what I say?”
 
Call the Parish office, make an appointment with your Priest. Sit down and talk to him, THEN ask for Confession.
 
I’m glad you want to go to confession, but confession means renouncing sin, and that does not happen when you persist in an irregular relationship. But with prayer and above all putting yourself in the hands of Our Blessed Mother everything will get better.

When you can go to confession, do an examination of conscience. There are manuals on how to do this, but they are increasingly rare. But go through the basics, with a rule to keep, that is that you are the most terrible being to walk this Earth, but for that reason you will give God an oportunity to manifest His great mercy and glorify Him, so don’t atenuate your defects.
And go writing them down. Right them down and then read them to the priest. That ensures that you make a good, open and deep confession. The priest might not like it, because it is an old custom, but regardless of what it is, it is certainly practical.

I reccomend reading the Passion of Chirst, in the Bible. Also praying the Rosary.
 
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