I think its good to look at the current situation, even though we may look with dismay upon it.
Here is a commentary on one group within the church: families with adolescents
The National Study for Youth and Religion, states that, without a doubt, children are most influenced in their religious and spiritual behaviors based upon their parents’ religious and spiritual behaviors. Youth ministry is a wonderful place for young people (when the family schedule allows) to become better Catholics. Parents are keenly aware and invested in every aspect of their child’s life and youth ministry is that unknown option that works if family harmony is not disrupted. We are still stuck in a paradigm that targets the “good” youth, extracts them from their families, secludes them in a youth room, and teaches them about Christian leadership apart from the worshipping community. Youth are reluctant to make such a decision because of what their parents might think of them. Facilitating youth to encounter Jesus Christ would do serious damage to parent’s plans for them. We take them to rallies and conferences and expect them to make a radical decision to follow Christ- to be true adults and owners of their Christian faith- and these youth stare at us blankly because they know their baseball coach and hovering parents will not allow “God stuff” to interfere.
Catholic parents see themselves embodying the mystery of the Catholic faith while remaining physically detached from the institution- and their children are following suite. They are neither rebellious nor indifferent. They have put their own faithfulness ahead of what their own parents taught them about what it means to be a true Catholic. They simply view faithfulness in the daily routine on family life. In fact, these parents believe that they are becoming more church every day through sacrifice and prayer for their kids while at the same time moving farther away from Sunday Mass. They accept the ideals of the church and generally agree with church teaching, but left to use their own judgment in daily decisions. They believe the institutional church exists as a sacramental gas station. And why should they think any different when Confirmation prep is really a holding cell of catechesis that ends in a ceremony that looks and feels like graduation? Finding their basic faith experiences in the course of daily life, their irregular Mass attendance is an attempt to make a connection to daily life. And when Mass does not speak to their minds and hearts, they feel even more detached. And since our church glamorizes intellectual conversion, true faith can be found by reading the right book or listening to right Catholic apologist.
So, what is a solution?
Stop doing youth-centered programming. As the pastoral plan Our Hearts Were Burning Within Us explains “the parish is curriculum.” If we want parents and youth to discover what it means to be Catholic and do Catholic things, we must facilitate that authentic encounter with Jesus Christ and His church that reaches them where they are now, not necessarily where we want them to be in twenty years. We are still determining faithfulness as a measurable external activity based on regular attendance for both children and parents. We must encourage and model that we, as a church, value their time and talent rather than their passive existence. In other words, how we worship, pray, care for the poor, celebrate socially, baptize infants, bury the dead, and welcome at the door communicate more than a systematic catechetical program. Moreover, outside gathered church functions, the Catholic faith needs to present and relevant in the daily routine of family life- in the car ride, at the restaurant, in the negotiation of vacation, in the football bleachers, in the spousal argument and in the two minute cell-phone conversation at midnight.